It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Fire Up The Herd

I assume you guys heard about this already. Big Lead has excerpts:

Let's Read Some...

These blogs … they're like the high school goth chick who hates the high school QB because he's the high school QB. The second he would ask her out (voice gets very high) ‘Oh my god! Why am I wearing black nail polish! I gotta shower this month! Oh my god!' That's blog guy.

And...

The bottom line with hating the man - it gives you street cred, but you end up hanging out with people who can't pay the bills. Let me tell you something, bloggers, 400 thread-count sheets are better than a sleeping bag. Trust me on that. You want to be part of the establishment. Anti-establishment is overrated.

And...

They all want to tell you they have a unique angle and approach. Do you know 99% of all bloggers are white, 18-34, from the northeast, liberal … they're all the same guy! They're all the same voice! Middle class or above, prep school, overwhelmingly white. You're the same guy! If i put you in a room i couldn't tell you apart. They just link back and forth to each other. To me it's funny. They're the goth chick. Trust me, when the QB asks you out, it will make your year.

You Get The Idea. Tiresome Nonsense. However If You, Fine Commentariat, Would Like To Respond To This Gentleman's Opinion, Please Give Him A Call: (Alright, please stop calling Mr. Cowherd...)

Speaking Of Which, Here's A Man Who Owns 400 Thread-Count Sheets

I found this really weird. In the April 2009 "Everyday with Rachael Ray" mag, "Turn to "What a Trip" for a nostalgic read about growing up on baseball."

By Will Leitch.

Sincerely,
Marie

Ah, Go Fuck Yourself With A Remora

This was truly a fascinating account. I respectfully ask, however, if it was absolutely necessary and in the spirit of professional journalism, if not common decency to use the F word. Unfortunately, this prevented me from sharing this otherwise interesting story with my children. There is nothing intelligent in profanity, and this was the worst kind.

Kael

Yeah, Sorry. I'm Retarded

Hello,

I have been an avid viewer of the site, but I will no longer visiting since Deadspin continues to use the word 'retarded' in headlines and stories.

This word stigmatizes millions of people around the world, and use of the word shows very poorly on the character of the person.

Thanks,

Okay. I Do Like Giant Bloody Hogs

Hey AJD,

So last night I tried to friend Reds top pitching prospect Homer Bailey on facebook and he snubbed me.

He would. But I didn't come away empy handed. Here's (attached) a picture of him with a demolished hog! Really hope it can make your friday random shit thing, I love that part of the blog.

Some of the politer terms my correspondents used to describe [Schrutebag]'s behavior were immature, irresponsible, arrogant, malicious, destructive and dumb. I agree. The official response from ESPN's communication department was: "Our airwaves should not be used for this purpose. We apologize." It is the kind of bland public statement that does little to assuage the anger and distrust of ESPN's audience over an episode like this.

Schreiber then got ESPN Radio's senior VP to say, "Such attacks are off limits. Zero tolerance. I can't say it any stronger." So she's not messing around; we have a little bit of a crush. (For now.)

So that's the good news. The bad news? Because ESPN Radio had no official policy about this, Schrutebag will not be disciplined ... though if he does it again, there will be trouble! Meanwhile, The Big Lead is finally back online and looking for a new site host. No word on how they'll make up any revenue they lost during the attack; as much as she might be trying, Schreiber can't give this tale a happy ending.

Radio Hosts Attack Was Off Limits [ESPN]
Do It Again And The Kitten Dies [The Big Lead]
The Big Lead, Still Down. Thanks, Schrutebag. [Deadspin]

(UPDATE: The Big Lead discusses the matter further.)

If you have attempted to access The Big Lead over the last 24 hours, the attractive image above — good Lord, those rectangles are ENORMOUS ... and they're headed straight for us! — is all you've been able to see. It's pretty, but it ain't that pretty.

That's right, folks: Almost 24 hours after Colin Cowherd's little stunt yesterday, The Big Lead is still down. We contacted the editor to see how they were hanging in. Here's their report:

It's a weird, powerless feeling - we're on the playground with the rest of the first graders and, without provocation, some angry-at-the-world sixth grader comes over and drops you with a roundhouse you didn't see coming. What's that about, Colin? We still don't know if this was your sly way of saying you enjoy the site, or whether you did it so people would 'talk about you.' Either way, thanks. Major kudos are in order to sports bloggers everywhere. And readers, too. The support has been incredible.

The best part: With the blog down, we finally get to leave our parents' basement and see the light of day! What a productive Easter weekend it'll be!

Meanwhile, Cowherd's show starts soon. The guys at KSK have been trying to come up with a universally accepted name for which Cowherd shall heretofore be known, and they have settled on "Schrutebag." We find that one perfect. From now on, he's Schrutebag.

This Hurts Us More Than It Hurts You, Schrutebag [Deadspin]