We wrap up our epic Scoreboard Races series with non-baseball and minor-league scoreboard races. Our favorite is, without a doubt, the minor-league hockey Chicago Wolves. They feature a race between Skates, the Wolves' mascot ... and late Cubs announcer Harry Caray. The restaurant that bears his name is just around the corner from the rink, but synergy aside, we love it. We hope Harry either wins every night, or he goes careening drunkenly off the ice. Whichever.

The rest of them after the jump, and again: Thank all of you out there for contributing and making this so much fun.

MINOR LEAGUE

Brooklyn Cyclones (Keyspan Park):
Competitors: Hot dog costumes, done live: The chili hot dog, the mustard hot dog and the ketchup hot dog.
Field Of Battle: The bases.

Chicago Wolves
Competitors: Skates (the Wolves' mascot) and former Cubs announcer Harry Caray. (Really.)
Field Of Battle: Around the city of Chicago.
Notes: The Harry Caray race is most directly related to the fact that there is a Harry Caray's restaurant in Rosemont near the stadium so that people will have a reason to go and get a cheap appetizer after the game.

Iowa Cubs
Competitors: Rooster Booster, Ram Jam and Donkey Kick.
Field Of Battle: Riding vehicles through Des Moines.

Newark Bears (Riverfront Stadium)
Competitors: Commuter trains (like the PATH or NJ Transit trains, but with no logos.
Field Of Battle: A reader explains: "The trains would start in New York, come through a tunnel and go barreling across the Meadowlands to Newark Penn Station, which is about six blocks from the park. The fun part? The trains then crash through the wall of the station, a la the end of "Silver Streak" with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder, then go roaring down the streets of Newark - with sparks flying from steel wheels on asphalt a nice touch — and come to a smoking stop in front of the stadium. Now you see why no train company logos."

New Orleans Zephers
Competitors: A crawfish, crab, and an alligator
Field Of Battle: The bases.

Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons
Competitors: Three pieces of Anthracite Coal.
Notes: A reader: "The area was a huge mining zone in the early 1900's and I think the symbolism with the coal is that the coal will take years and years to better itself and turn into a diamond, just like every Phillies prospect before Ryan Howard."

Toledo Mud Hens (Fifth Third Field)
Competitors: The chili hot dog, the mustard hot dog and the ketchup hot dog race.
Field Of Battle:
Notes: The key to win bets is to stay away from the chili; it's disgusting.

Winnepeg Goldeyes
Competitors: A hockey puck named Sin Bin, a basketball called Free Throw, a football called Long Bomb and a baseball called Home Run.
Field Of Battle: Just across the screen.

COLLEGES

Iowa Hawkeyes
Competitors: Flying Coke bottles: Coke, Diet Coke and Cherry Coke.
Field Of Battle: The air throughout Iowa City.

Nebraska Cornhuskers
Competitors: Bottles of Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Mountain Dew and Dasani bottled water.
Field Of Battle: Corporate sponsorship hell.

Wisconsin Badgers
Competitors: The letters K,L,M,N,O,P (different sections of the stadium).
Field Of Battle: A Tecmo Bowl-esque football field.

NBA

Indiana Pacers (Conseco Fieldhouse)
Competitors: Indy cars.
Field Of Battle: Some sort of local racetrack or some such.

San Antonio Spurs (The Alamodome)
Competitors: Dots.
Field Of Battle: Some sort of dot track.

NFL

Indianapolis Colts (RCA Dome)
Competitors: John Deere tractors.
Field Of Battle: Football field.

Jacksonville Jaguars
Competitors: Shopping carts.
Field Of Battle: The aisles of local grocery chain Publix.

New York Jets (Giants Stadium)
Competitors: "Gamefaces," named Hot Lips, Rudy and "something else."
Field Of Battle: Through a field and city streets, avoiding cabs and blocking sleds.

Tennessee Titans (Adelphia Stadium)
Competitors: Molly Moo, Texas Pete, the Coca Cola Polar Bear and Ernie the Keebler Elf.
Field Of Battle: The aisles of grocery store Kroger.
Notes: If your cupholder has the winning character, you win a free half-gallon of milk.

NHL

Los Angeles Kings (Staples Center)
Competitors: Kenny, Cartman, Stan and Kyle from "South Park."
Field Of Battle: The arena itself; they drive around in little cards.
Notes: New this year, to promote KCAL's showing of "South Park" reruns in syndication.

New Jersey Devils
Competitors: Three convertibles (black, red, and white).
Field Of Battle: The New Jersey Turnpike, ending at the Meadowlands.

Toronto Maple Leafs
Competitors: Done live, five men come on the ice wearing 70s-style goalie gear.
Field Of Battle: The rink.
Notes: "Goalies" try to knock each other down, roller derby style.

"One of the three dollar guys is eliminated in a mishap early in the race, which is followed by a not-terribly-close race to the finish line by the two survivors.

The three variations are:

(i) Abe stops to take photos of the Lincoln Memorial. George wins. (ii) George spins out. Alex wins.(iii) Alex stops to withdraw money at a conveniently-located trackside PNC Bank ATM machine. Abe wins.

This year, though, they've changed it. This time, the competitors are the Mount Rushmore presidents (Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt). This time, the race is a foot race, and the mishaps are a good deal less pleasant.

That's right: We have our first unnecessarily violent scoreboard race. The details, along with the rest of the National League, is after the jump.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

East

Atlanta Braves (Turner Field)
Competitors: Sponsored by Home Depot, it's a saw, a hammer and a drill.
Field Of Battle: The basepaths.
Notes: Unconfirmed reports say the tools have been replaced by a paint brush, roller and paint can.

Florida Marlins (Dolphins Stadium)
Competitors: Billy the Marlin and his elderly parents.
Field Of Battle: Some sort of undetermined body of water.

New York Mets (Shea Stadium)
Competitors: Pizza delivery truck drivers.
Field Of Battle: From various parts of the city to Shea Stadium.
Notes: This used to be airplanes from nearby LaGuardia Airport, but the team ended that promotion after 9/11.

Philadelphia Phillies
Competitors: Septa city trains.
Field Of Battle: Underground mass transit system.

Washington Nationals (RFK Stadium)
Competitors: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Alexander Hamilton.
Field Of Battle: Roads past Washington D.C. monuments.
Notes:: From a reader: "One of the three dollar guys is eliminated in a mishap early in the race, which is followed by a not-terribly-close race to the finish line by the two survivors.

The three variations are:

(i) Abe stops to take photos of the Lincoln Memorial. George wins. (ii) George spins out. Alex wins.(iii) Alex stops to withdraw money at a conveniently-located trackside PNC Bank ATM machine. Abe wins.

This year, though, they've changed it. This time, the competitors are the Mount Rushmore presidents (Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt). This time, the race is a foot race, and the mishaps are a good deal less pleasant.

The same race was repeated for each of the Nationals' first two games this year. In order: (i) George trips over a wooden street closure barrier and falls to his face. (ii) Teddy falls to his presumed death through an unfortunately-placed open manhole cover. (iii) Abe starts picking up orange traffic cones and hurling them at Tom. After two misses, Abe succeeds in braining Jefferson with a direct hit to the back of the head, and Tom topples to the ground. (iv) Abe crosses the finish line. No close finishes here, either, as only one president survives the race.

The 2006 races also make the promise that fans can influence the race by cheering."

Central

Chicago Cubs (Wrigley Field)
(Despite several early Cubs fans protests, there were/are scoreboard races at Wrigley Field. A reader clues us in:)

"Since I can remember - 2003 Races (This was pre-newish video board below the old scoreboard)
There were 2 races:
1) Craftsman Lawnmower Race
2) Elite Truck Rental Race
These were from the same exact graphic set, so they're fairly easy to describe. It was a race of 2 trucks or lawnmowers in which participant #1 was the a truck (filled in with "color") and #2 was an outline of a truck. The race would start and the trucks would basically stand still on the screen. They'd then alternate moving forward & backward to show "progress" until a finish line magically appeared on the screen and a winner was crowned. Naturally, I would always bet on truck #2 because he was carrying less weight (I'm not positive, but I believe they simply alternated the winner each day).

2004-2005 (they installed a higher quality video board to improve those revenue numbers)
1) Craftsman Lawnmower Race
This race is between a gray lawnmower and a red one around the playing field of a virtual Wrigley [always on grass, of course]. They'd start in front of the visitors dugout, race toward the RF corner & around the outfield wall. When they got to the LF corner, for some strange reason they'd team up to spell "CRAFTSMAN" in the grass, then the race would end in front of the Cubs dugout.

2) Sports Authority Race
This is a race around the bases by "Batty," "Bally," and "Glovey." Fairly simple concept but at each base the leader at the time would either stop (so the other two would run into him), or accidentally overrun the base (thus falling into 3rd). The overhead view of the race from 3rd to home was always interesting because all 3 moved much slower than they had getting from the plate to third base.

So, don't let anybody give you the "Historic Wrigley Field" bs. .. everybody loves/does scoreboard races."

Cincinnati Reds (Great American Ball Park)
Competitors<: Mr. Red, Rosie Red and Mr. Red Leg (old school version of Mr. Red, distinguishable by his mustache).
Field Of Battle: Racetrack.
Notes: Goofy-ass new mascot Gapper makes an occasional appearance in the race by opening a Skyline Chili stand in the middle of the racetrack, distracting one of the racers with his Chili.

Houston Astros (Enron Field)
Competitors: Different colors of Humvee.
Field of Battle: The oil fields of Iraq. OK, not really; it's actually an off-road track.

Milwaukee Brewers (Miller Park)
Competitors: The Hot Dog, The Bratwurst, The Polish Sausage and the Italian Sausage.
Field of Battle: On the actual diamond.
Notes: This is, of course, done live, with people in costumes. Former Pirate Randall Simon might remember this well.

Pittsburgh Pirates (PNC Park)
Competitors: Different flavors of pirogues: Jalapeno Hanna, Oliver Onion, Sauerkraut Saul and Cheese Chester.
Field Of Battle: The Streets of Pittsburgh. Finish line is entrance to stadium.

St. Louis Cardinals (New Busch Stadium)
(So far, the new Busch Stadium has no race, though, to be fair, the stadium in only about two weeks old. We're gonna expect a race - presumably something involving the Casino Queen - by end of season)

West
Arizona Diamondbacks (Chase Field)
Competitors: Hot dog toppings: Ketchup, Mustard and Relish.
Field Of Battle: Around the bases.

Colorado Rockies (Coors Field)
Competitors: Pigs on Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
Field Of Battle: Roads up and through the Rocky Mountains.

Los Angeles Dodgers (Dodger Stadium)
Competitors: Sports cars.
Field Of Battle: Throughout the city of Los Angeles.

San Diego Padres (Petco Park)
Competitors: Sailboats piloted by the Friar mascot.
Field Of Battle: The ocean, we think.

San Francisco Giants (AT&T Park)
Competitors: Cable cars.
Field Of Battle: Streets of San Francisco.

We'd like to thank everyone for helping out with this project: There's some truly entertaining stuff, no help to Camden Yards, which has the same, boring "Hot dog race," with ketchup, mustard and relish.

Baltimore Orioles (Camden Yards)
Competitors: Hot Dog Bun, Ketchup Bottle, Mustard Bottle.
Field Of Battle: Basepaths.
Notes: The bun apparently has a ridiculously high winning percentage.

Most are more fun than that one, but you get the drift. American League after the jump.

AMERICAN LEAGUE

East

Baltimore Orioles (Camden Yards)
Competitors: Hot Dog Bun, Ketchup Bottle, Mustard Bottle.
Field Of Battle: Basepaths.

Boston Red Sox (Fenway Park)
(The Red Sox currently have no scoreboard races, choosing instead to save their bets for post-game Golden Tee.)

New York Yankees (Yankee Stadium)
Competitors: Subway lines B, D and 4 trains, representing the three trains that go to the Stadium
Field Of Battle: Underground mass transit system.
Notes: From a reader: "The genius lies in the fact that New Yorkers are incredibly proud and arrogant. Living in NY, you have a tendency to take personal ownership over subway lines ("I live on the F" "Fuck you hippie! I live on the 6!" etc.) So people will naturally root for their own line. Most of the people that go to games at Yankee stadium will take a subway. If you don't live on one of the racing lines, you will most likely end up rooting for the line you came in on. Every New Yorker prides himself on knowing the ins and outs of the subway system, so whatever train they took will, invariably, be the best. Ihave heard guys in the bleachers say this exact phrase: "there is no fucking way the B can beat the D." Prompting the response "I know, these scoreboard races are full of shit."

Tampa Bay Devil Rays (Tropicana Field)
Competitors: Bobblehead dolls.
Field Of Battle: Waterskiing behind speedboats in a race course that winds past a few landmarks in Tampa.

Toronto Blue Jays (SkyDome)
Competitors: Different-colored airplanes.
Field Of Battle: Airports, apparently.

Central

Chicago White Sox (U.S. Cellular Field)
Competitors: Three types of pizza: Sausage, Cheese and Pepperoni.
Field Of Battle: Around the bases.
Notes: From a reader: "Sausage is heavy-lidded and is widely regarded to be under the influence of some substance or another. Cheese is chipper and fleet of foot, and pepperoni looks like he just doesn't give a shit."

Cleveland Indians (Jacobs Field):
Competitors: Hot dog toppings: Ketchup, Mustard and Relish.
Field Of Battle: Around the bases.

Detroit Tigers (Comerica Park)
Competitors: Dashing Donut, Biggie Bagel, Cuppy Coffee.
Field Of Battle: Some sort of track.
Notes: Historically, the Dashing Donut is dominant.

Kansas City Royals (Kaufman Stadium)
Competitors: Hot dog toppings: Ketchup, Mustard and Relish.
Notes: Morons pick relish.

Minnesota Twins (The Metrodome)
Competitors: Three horses (color-coded; red, blue and green).
Field Of Battle: A racetrack.
Notes: Sponsored by Canterbury Park, the local horse racetrack.

West

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
(No details as of yet)

Oakland Athletics (McPhee Coliseum)
Competitors: Dots.
Field Of Battle: Some sort of dot track.
Notes: Considered the first scoreboard race, though there is some debate. As always, Athletics Nation is all over this.

Seattle Mariners (Safeco Field)
Competitors: Hydroplanes.
Field Of Battle: Air and water, naturally, around a virtual Lake Washington, running through slalom gates, spinning out, what-not.
Notes: Always runs in the middle of the fourth inning. From a reader: "They race around Puget Sound and sometimes a sea monster will come up and grab one of them, but then of course at the end of the race the monster will release the hydroplane near the finish line to make it a close race. Also sometimes they crash but get an extra burst of speed at the end to make the race close."

Texas Rangers (The Ballpark At Arlington)
Competitors: Dots.
Field Of Battle: Vague blackish area.
Notes: If your coupon has the winning dot, you win a bottled water.