An attorney by the name of W. Anthony Collins has called on the I-Team to help locate the former Vols/Bills/Falcons/Seahawks/Cowboys wide receiver. He's vanished, you see.

The pink-hatted—but apparently not always green-shirted—Cubs fan whom the I-Team was tasked with finding has been identified. His name's Jim Anixter, and many, many of you know something about him. For instance, that his hat says, "The Pink Hat Guy."

That pink-hatted, green-shirted man behind home plate has been troubling—nay, pissing off—one reader. His tale after the jump.

Have you seen Sadie? If you have, there could be two Lakers floor seats in it for you.

One NFL hopeful shocked and delighted the world by telling Tebow to "shut the fuck up" after he requested a pre-Wonderlic prayer. But we haven't yet been able to put a name to the words. That's where you come in.

We haven't had to call upon the Deadspin I-team for personal search and rescue missions in a while, but today's entry seems as worthy as any deadbeat Dominican baseball player or ample-bosomed fan. We'll let Pete Gaines have the floor:

A helpful classmate tipped us off to the young lady's name, and Deadspin Investigative Services sprung into action. There turned out to be quite the paper trail; follow it with us, won't you?

Because Mr. Sizemore has requested an MLB detective help find the culprit. I'd check here and here, first, but it appears a Sizemore stalker still roams the internets. Be on high alert. Probably for this lady.

A movement is afoot. Hotshot Brewers prospect Alcides Escobar's ex-wife emailed us for Melissa Lima's contact info to involve her in an online petition about deadbeat major league ballplayers. Welcome to Jezespin.

Really. Thanks to one reader's wife who became Facebook friends with this happy "e"-less female Yankee fan last night, she's actually been found and identified. America, meet Amy W. AKA "I LIV 4 THIS" woman.