Can you imagine a less inspiring sight as a Major League Baseball player than looking up, while stretching out a muscle that's going to inevitably snap by the end of the season, and seeing this schmuck peering down at you over the dash of a Segway? We do hope that someone tested Bowden's breath before getting on that thing.

There Are No Words [Nationals Enquirer]
The Dueling Bowden Mug Shots [Deadspin]