Deadspin: shawn johnson

Yes, It's For A Completely Different Individual, Who's Not Me

Matt Sussman — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 11:15:00 EDT

"My grandson is 'in love' with Shawn Johnson, the Olympic gymnast. Do you know where I could get an 8 by 10 picture or poster of her?" [Cape Cod Times]

Shawn Johnson Is Having A Rough Couple Of Weeks

DAULERIO — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:30:03 EDT

After Shawn Johnson spent last week worried about a deranged stalker, she returns to "Dancing With The Stars" only to be greeted by what appears to be a deranged boner in her partner's pants. (NSFW?)

Now who's to say that the eye-catching Northwest-pointing bulge in partner Marc Ballas' pants is actually an unwieldy erection or a funny camera angle that, you know, gives him the appearance of having an unwieldy erection. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Regardless of how short her shorts are (and his, for that matter) he is a professional dancer, who grinds against people for a living and is presumably skilled at maintaining flaccidity during routines. But he is wearing a headband. Maybe that did it.

Luckily for Johnson, her stalker, Robert O' Ryan, looks as if he'll be going to jail for a very long time. The same cannot be said about that thing poking out of Ballas' pants, which is still on the loose.

(Thanks to Rudy The Reader for the tip.)

Shawn Johnson Stalker Manages To Make 'Dancing With The Stars' Interesting

Rick Chandler — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 11:00:23 EDT

Duct tape, two loaded guns, a cross-country journey in a dilapidated car; yep, spring is in the air. And that's when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, and Shawn Johnson.

Our Olympic hero, toiling on the set of Dancing With The Stars (don't pretend you're not watching), was surprised to learn that one Robert O'Ryan, 34, was stopped by security and subsequently arrested by police after he jumped a fence at ABC Studios. He said that he wanted to meet Johnson, who was taping the show there, and that the two were meant to have children together.

"He believes (Johnson) is speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP and that he will be with her no matter what," Johnson's court papers state.

Just like me and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

This love story ends the way that most do: With the girl's mother filing a restraining order, and the suitor being held on $35,000 bail on suspicion of carrying a loaded firearm in public. Just like in fine literature.

But I'm still not totally convinced that O'Ryan wasn't actually trying to abduct Johnson's dancing partner, Mark Ballas:

Armed Fan Tries To Break Onto The Set Of 'Dancing With The Stars' [KTLA Los Angeles]
This Is Creepy [Rumors And Rants]

Outstanding Acheivers In Beijing Not Named Michael Phelps

Josh Zerkle — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 11:29:24 EDT

• I really can't stand to watch gymnastics more than once every four years. It's agonizing. There's such a clear disadvantage in starting some routines first, as Shawn Johnson did in the floor exercise, only to be overtaken by Romania's Sandra Izbasa, who went last. It was Johnson's third silver medal in Beijing.

• How would you like to be a 41-year-old woman that everyone introduces by saying, "This is 41-year-old Dara Torres." Suck. Torres, who actually did some sideline reporting for NBC in their XFL coverage back in the day, has some experience with being a freak, and nearly capped off her Olympic comeback with gold. She missed Germany's Britta Steffen by 1/100th of a second in the 50-meter freestyle final. The silver is Torres' 11th Olympic medal. Nice going, mom.

• Raphael Nadal won Spain's first-ever gold in men's tennis, beating Fernando Gonzalez of Chile. He will officially dethrone Roger Federer as the world's number one ranked men's player on Monday. Federer lost to James Blake (USA! USA!) in the quarterfinals.

• Oh, and the Willams sisters kicked the shit out of everyone to win gold in women's doubles.