At some point during his team’s loss to the Colts, Bucs quarterback Jameis Winston dispensed some heated wisdom on the sideline:
Alex Ovechkin turned 30 yesterday. While that fact jolts you into realizing your own age, let’s check out what gifts the Capitals captain received:
I have no idea why this sheep was just hanging out on this road, or why it decided to race this cyclist, but I am going to imagine that it simply stands in that spot all day every day, just waiting for some dummy on a bike who needs a lesson in what real speed looks like.
Meet Dexter. He's out here trying to herd these sheep, but he can't quite figure out the best way to get the job done. The sheep are just over here like, "What's going on with my man Dexter? Is he OK?"
There is only meaning in life if there is revelation in death. Billions of generations have come and gone, and most are meaningless for the purposes of the living if we can't take some sort of lesson from their brief time on earth. It's why we scour the obituaries and mourn the famous and infamous and successful and…
Hurry up, Abilene mutton-bustin' pre-teens! This weekend is your last chance to register for the Wild Bill Hickok Rodeo's sheep-riding extravaganza, also known as the ovine world's revenge for all that Shari Lewis shit. [Abilene Reflector-Chronicle]
Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton.
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