Seriously, Poop Pills Just Might Save Your Life (With Poop!)

Ohhhhhh my GOD, I will never ever ever in my life get tired of stories where doctors use poop as medicine. EVER. Because, you see, it's poop (which is stinky stuff that comes out of your butt*), and then doctors (who are very serious science grown-ups) have to touch the poop with doctory gravitas, and then they turn… » 10/04/13 4:42pm 10/04/13 4:42pm

Fuck Your Delicate Sensibilities, I'm Going to Swear as Much as I Want

I swear a lot. In writing, if not so much in speech (but, fuck it, also a lot of times in speech). Swearing is awesome, because it adds a little extra punch to your sentence that lets people know you mean business! Or, at least, I guess that's how most people characterize the function of swearing. Personally, I don't… » 5/15/13 5:19pm 5/15/13 5:19pm

"World Series Shits To Detroit" Declares Chicago Tribune, Fox News, Et…

Gather ‘round, my little dreamlets. Grandpa's going to sing of the days before every baboon with a wireless connection could vomit up a website and call it news. In those long-forgotten times, human beings would staff publications—magazines and newspapers, chiefly. But as audience habits and advertising money wandered… » 10/27/12 2:50pm 10/27/12 2:50pm

Twins Fans Grasp Coprophilia-Based Humor Better Than Any Other MLB…

Francisco Liriano fell to 1-7 on the season as the Cubs rocked the Twins in Minneapolis Sunday. While some Minnesota fans think the team as a whole is playing like shit, insiders point to the crappy performance by several players—Liriano and fellow pitcher Carl Pavano among them. Don't count the Twins out just yet,… » 6/11/12 9:00am 6/11/12 9:00am

Idea For Disney Film About Pittsburgh Pirates: Feces In The Outfield

A sewer line underneath PNC Park clogged, presumably with semi-digested Primanti Bros. sandwiches and broken dreams. Workers had to dig a hole in the outfield to get at the pipes, and will presumably have it repaired before the Bucs return from a road trip and Andrew McCutchen plunges into a chest-deep pit of human… » 5/18/12 3:35pm 5/18/12 3:35pm

Sadly, The World Will Never Know Who Shaq "Blames For That Shit"…

This slip-up came at the tail end of a conversation on TNT about Twinkie-maker Hostess declaring bankruptcy, an entirely reasonable topic for a studio show previewing a night of NBA action. I assume it's that bankruptcy filing Shaquille O'Neal means by "that shit," but we were all sent to commercial before learning… » 1/12/12 8:28pm 1/12/12 8:28pm