shits - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carrie Underwood's <i>Sunday Night Football</i> Theme Sucks And Nobody Should Kiss Her Sensitive Ass
On Sunday night, Sports Illustrated producer Jessica Smetana delivered, to no one in particular, a mild criticism of the very bad Sunday Night Football theme performed by Carrie Underwood. The musician saw it and was mad....
San Antonio Cop Reportedly Fired For Feeding Homeless Man A Literal Shit Sandwich
Our American law enforcement system enables its officers to abuse their power and harass the citizenry in ways both petty and outright barbaric. Here’s a particularly cruel example, from down in San Antonio: a cop was fired this week after he fed a homeless man a shit sandwich. I do not use “shit sa...
Dinosaurs Suck Now
If there’s one thing that really upsets me, it is the scientific community’s continued insistence on turning dinosaurs into lame little fuckers. Today brings us news that paleontologists have created the most accurate depiction of a dinosaur in history, which means we now know that the Psittacosauru...
Terrible Umpire Laz Diaz Taunts Shawn Kelley Into Getting Ejected
Baseball is full of pointless indignities, but the fact a player can be ejected from a game he's already, by rule, barred from re-entering is one of the most impotent. With that impotence in mind, here's professional MLB umpire Laz Diaz goading Yankees pitcher Shawn Kelley into getting ejected....
George Brett Tells Dipshit Autograph Hunter To Fuck Off
Here's some important information to keep in mind: If you ask George Brett for his autograph 35 times, he will eventually threaten to "shoot your fucking ass."...
Dipshit TMZ Photographer Is Not Worthy Of JaVale McGee's Time
What kind of dweeb finds himself in the presence of one of the most entertaining and personable players in the NBA, and then proceeds to waste everyone's time by bombarding that player with a series of idiotic questions and riddles? The kind of dweeb who works for TMZ....
Someone Threw A Sock Full Of Shit At A Woman In Chicago
The headline basically sums it up, but here's the disgusting rundown: A woman riding on a local transit train in Chicago was just minding her own business when a man, unprovoked, hurled a sock full of human feces at her and ran away. And you think your commute is crappy....
"World Series Shits To Detroit" Declares <em>Chicago Tribune</em>, Fox News, Et Al
Gather ‘round, my little dreamlets. Grandpa's going to sing of the days before every baboon with a wireless connection could vomit up a website and call it news. In those long-forgotten times, human beings would staff publications—magazines and newspapers, chiefly. But as audience habits and adverti...
Tony La Russa: Asshole Or Dipshit? Let's Discuss!
Tony La Russa was never the cuddliest of MLB managers, and he's done a lot of things that would preclude him from ever being invited to anyone's Christmas party. But the big question remains, is La Russa a dipshit or an asshole? Let's settle this in the discussion section below....
Today In Photograph And Caption Synergy: Caroline Wozniacki Shits A Return
Maybe she had a stomach bug? Maybe she was tired of all the 40-all scores? Whatever the reason, Woz laid a stinker on the court at the French Open today and was ousted by Estonian Kaia Kanepi, 6-1, 6-7 (3-7) 6-3....
Cole Hamels Says He Threw At Bryce Harper
Phillies-Nats, earlier tonight: Cole Hamels drilled Bryce Harper with two outs in the first. Harper then stole home, so joke was on Cole. But none of that would matter much, since Nats starter Jordan Zimmermann buckled in the fourth, and the Phillies won 9-3....