This particular money shot belongs to Emily Brydon, who, in her 13th and final season, finally made the podium (2nd place) in her native Canada at the Lake Louise Women's World Cup Downhill race. Bully for her.

But I suspect the champagne toasts we'll be talking about today belong to the coaches of undefeated teams: Mack Brown and Nick Saban. And Brian Kelly, and Gary Patterson, and Chris Petersen. Oh, don't you worry. We'll get to that soon.

Better Late Than Never For Brydon In Canada [Toronto Star]

•••••

Thanks to the Young Manhattanite crew for running the place yesterday. Now why does it smell like Michelob and media circlejerk, and why do all the Facebook commenters have stars? What the hell happened?

Vonn provisionally won the super-G at the World Championships at Val D'Isere, France, beating local favorite Marie Marchand-Arvier in a strong technical lower section.

Lindsey Vonn spared a thought for her cow Olympia and her husband Thomas after seizing the gold medal in the world championship super-G on Tuesday, the American's first title at a major event. Vonn was given the cow for winning a World Cup downhill at Val D'Isere in December 2005.

The plus side here: A very attractive female athlete who is actually good. The minus: She won't shut up about the cow.

"I like Val d'Isere and that's where my cow's from," she said. "I hope I can make a little more history here."

Vonn is trying to become the first woman to win five medals at the same championships, and if she succeeds, she won't have to care for those annoying Von Trapp children anymore.

Vonn Wins First Major Gold Medal [Universal Sports]
Cow And Husband In Vonn's Thoughts After Gold Run [Universal Sports]

Marty Odom worked for Sharpshooters Imaging, the official portrait photography concession for the Colorado resort. And what a portrait Odom captured on January 1, as a 48-year-old man somehow slipped partially off of his chair lift, sans pants. Odom was off duty at the time, but knows a good photo when he sees one. The resort, however, was not amused.

The Vail Daily got the story:

"I was out on my own with my own camera, so I didn’t think it was a big deal," Odom said. "I thought it was going to be the photo of the New Year." However, when he arrived at work on Monday, he was told that he was suspended until further notice. "We all know what that means," said Odom, who has been working for Sharpshooters since the beginning of the season. "I guess it embarrassed Vail Resorts, and they called [my] shop."

Evidently Odom's contract had a co-compete clause, which is amusing in itself. In the event that a chubby skier is left dangling pantsless from one of our lifts, Vail Resorts shall retain exclusive rights to any photos, video footage and/or movie rights ...

“Everyone is talking about it and saying, ‘Oh, you’re the guy who took that photo.’” Odom said. “People love it. Everyone said it’s going to be a legend in Vail, hung up in every bar." In fact, Odom said he’s not sorry for taking the photo. “I would do it all over again,” he said. “Except now I’m on the job hunt, and this town isn’t looking too good right now."

Of course if Vail were smart, they'd give Odom a raise and develop a promotional campaign around the photos.

Carefree, Pantsless: Vail!

You'll Lose Your Worries, And Your Knickers

Take Advantage Of Our Holiday Half-Off Promotion!

Photographer Suspended For Vail Skier Pic [Vail Daily]
Vail Photographer Fired For Taking Photo Of Dangling Pantsless Skier [JH Underground]

This can be a problem. I hate it when Dash brings his pet cow into the office.

From The New York Times:

Yeah, I won a cow in Val d’Isère, France, a few years ago. She’s actually staying in a barn that my friend owns. She gave birth to her first calf like a year and a half ago, so I had two cows. Then, last month, she gave birth to another cow, so now I have three cows. The first one is named Olympe — then Sunny and Karin. I have three cows, and I’m looking forward to more in the future, so I’ll have a little herd.

Full disclosure: I have this fantasy where I settle down with a gorgeous ski babe in a cozy chalet in the Swiss Alps, and we spend our days making babies, playing Julie Andrews records and tending our herd of award-winning Maine-Anjous, only emerging once a month to go into town to purchase Ricola breath mints. Is that so wrong?

Vonn, who is battling a non-gunshot related leg injury, finished fourth in the slalom at the Aspen Winternational on Nov. 30, but remains the World Cup slalom leader and trails Finland's Tanja Poutianen for first overall by 31 points. Next is Lake Louise, Alberta, on Friday to begin the first World Cup speed races of the season.

The 2010 Winter Olympics will be here before you know it: Vancouver's terror-inducing mascots are one year old today!

Vonn Victorious In Finland [The Sports Network]
Skiing Until Cows Come Home [The New York Times]

Until now, we've never had an opinion on whether a competitive skier should wear a cup. But after hearing the tortured cry of this young fellow (at first we thought someone had shot a Yeti), we now come down decidedly in the "yes" camp. And please note that the announcer here rises impressively to the challenge, almost as if this sort of thing happens every day. Yes, "The boys took a beating on that one," indeed.

Somewhere close by in the forest the bears are having a good laugh over this, incidentally.

Ah, the plight of the female sports reporter. If someone's not making a video montage of your ass and putting it on YouTube, than a Norwegian skier is sitting behind you, gesturing that you suck cock. These women deserve raises. Every single one of them.

Norwegian Athletes Are Awesome [With Leather]

The US Embassy in Kenya has warned the public of a possible terrorist attack on the World Cross Country Championships taking place in the east African country later this month. A statement released yesterday asked American citizens traveling to the event against frequently popular places in the host city of Mombasa. There were almost no further details on a possible attack.

So, seriously, please keep that in mind, sports fans, before you purchase your tickets.

You know, if something happens, we're gonna feel like a real dick.

Osama Loves Cross Country. Who Knew? [Lion In Oil]

It all came about on Wednesday due to Sch nfelder losing a bet of some sort. The only other details we know are these:

Austria head coach Toni Giger said he did not think Schoenfelder would be sanctioned for the stunt. "I have no problem with nudity in general," Giger said. "I haven't seen the pictures but no one was hurt. ... This was typical Schoenfelder behavior."

Alrighty, then.

Your move, Bode Miller.

Rainer Sch nfelder Ist Immer F r Eine Einlage Gut — Auch In Wengen [Sport1.at]
Austrian Skis Nude After Losing Bet [SFGate]

The 25-year-old said that he was simply urinating and "did what every man would do and I shook my penis to get rid of every last drop. I'm very sorry I offended this woman and I will tell her I'm very sorry and I will also pay a fine if I have to."

We have to say, we wish we had heard of this potential excuse when we were, say, 14. You do, after all, make sure to get rid of every last drop.

Zurbriggen's Indecent Denial [EuroSport]

Ted Ligety, who is the gold medal winner in the men's alpine combined and also in my "extended network," is a man who likes to have a good time. There's really nothing too embarrassing here, other than his choice of font and background colors, which are giving me a headache. Of course, there isn't much that's going to get him in MENSA, either. Ted does love his exclamation points.

Between Bode, Ted's MySpace, Julia Mancuso's tiara, and Resi Stiegler's pearls, I'm not sure how it happened that snowboarders, and not skiers, got the reputation of being brash, cocky, and irresponsible. Come to think of it, our skiers don't seem to care, our hockey players are whining, and our speedskaters hate each other. The snowboarders are looking positively Belichick-ish by comparison.

Teddy Bear in my Bed [MySpace.com]

Generous guy, Ciro Mancuso. But I suppose one can afford to be generous when one once pleaded guilty to running a $120 million marijuana ring that brought about 67 tons of the herb into the United States. And from what I know about the Deadspin audience, I'm guessing that at least a few of you were satisfied Ciro Mancuso customers. They thank you for your patronage.

Julia Mancuso was five years old when Ciro was sent away to do about five years in prison for his business interests. But he got out, and thanks in no small part to you, was able to help his daughter on her quest to win gold.

Family Helps Mancuso Achieve Golden Dream [Yahoo! News]
Skiing was Mancuso's getaway through tough childhood years [Las Vegas Sun]

Downhill: 5th
Combined: Disqualified
Super-G: Did Not Finish
G. Slalom: 6th
Slalom: Did Not Finish

Highly disappointing. Also, I stumbled upon this earlier on Bode's other website, www.bodemillerusa.com. I'd like to call your attention to the second sentence:

Now, "Bode on the Bus" was a show about Bode on OLN. But, um... this little tidbit sounds like they're saying something completely different, does it not? Next time, they may want to capitalize "Bode on the Bus," put it in quotes, underline it, do something. Otherwise, people may get the idea that JoinBode.com is not a statement about the true nature of sports and competition, but rather an invitation to actually join Bode on a bus for illicit gay sex.

Bode Miller USA [BodeMillerUSA.com]
Join Bode [JoinBode.com
Miller Fails Yet Again in Final Race [Yahoo! News]

The first thing I thought when I saw this was not that it would hurt his chances to finally get himself on a podium. Instead, I figured that this would be the event that he finally does win. It's his weakest event, he's got a bad ankle, people like me have been bagging on him all week, and if he wins this one, it shuts us all up and validates the things he's been saying about inspiring performances, etc.

If he does manage to pull out to the win on Saturday (and I fully expect him to do so), he's a hero, and I'm just one of countless chumps who never understood his brilliant and advanced views on society because he's just smarter than everyone else. I'm preparing myself for the fact that it's going to happen.

Bode reportedly hurts ankle playing basketball [MSNBC.com]

Bode didn't talk to reporters after the event, so I can be sure if he cares about losing this one. Sometimes, life is hard for a rebel like Bode who lives life on his own terms. He still has two more chances to medal. I'm actually kinda rooting for him now.

The bigger story here might be that a French guy was jobbed out of a place on the podium. They tried to run the event in the morning despite some snow and fog, and 17 skiiers ran the course. French skiier Pierre-Emmanuel Dalcin was one of the 17 to take his run, and he posted a sweet time. But later, a Swiss skiier, due to the fog, I suppose, lost control and veered off the whole damn course, prompting officials to wipe out all the scores and restart the thing later in the afternoon. Frenchy's sweet time was completely nullified. "I don't want to talk," he said after the event. "I was robbed; that's it."

I'm inclined to agree. Fog or no fog, he made it down the hill, and it's not his fault if the Swiss guy can't hack it. He shouldn't be punished for that. Perhaps he can join Bode later for a croissant and a drunken run down the slopes.

Join Bode [Nike.com]
Aamodt first to repeat as super-G champ [NBCOlympics.com]

As SportsBiz tells us, Dale Begg-Smith, gold medalist for Australia in the men's freestyle moguls, funds his training (as well as his $300,000 Lamborghini) via pop-up ads. He's been reluctant to talk about it. Two of the companies he's involved with, however, AdsCPM and CPM Media, appear to be associated with pop-up advertising. AdsCPM is listed here under a "Spyware Blacklist."

So, just to recap, the man drives a Lamborghini, has an Olympic gold medal, and has (maybe/possibly/probably) funded them both by putting pop-ups on your computer. Is there any reason not to want to punch this man in the face?

Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy, Spam, Spam, Spam!! [SportsBiz]
Spam Man wins gold [The Age]
Athletes - Dale Begg-Smith [NBCOlympics.com]
Spyware Blacklist [SpywareKilla]

Well, they finally went through with it, and it's a doozy. Our valiant hero heads to the Crested Butte Mountain Resort and does three "control" runs, sans booze. Then, at "halftime," he heads to the bar and slams down a double shot of Goldschlager, a shot of Hot Damn 100 proof, two PBR, a shot of Rumpelminze and a shot of Jager. (They note that he weighs 155 pounds and is at 10,000 feet altitude.) Just to make sure the buzz continued, he took a couple pulls of Hot Damn on the ski lift.

The results? Mercifully, not death. But: "There are 360 degrees in a circle. The test subject made it about 210 before crashing to the ground. In skier vernacular, this would be considered a 'yard sale.' Both of the test subject's skis came off, one pole came off, and his helmet and goggles were twisted around to the side."

A completely irresponsible experiment, done with reckless disregard for safety and decency. We wholeheartedly approve.

Bode Miller Experiment, Part II [NoobSports]
Be Like Bode [Deadspin]

Apparently it involves knocking down a flag, and it booted Miller from the competition right when it appeared he was poised to win his first Gold Medal. Of course, we won't know for sure for another nine hours, when NBC decides it is ready to show us. $600 million well spent.

Wait ... this just in ... it appears Miller might receive a waiver for the straddle because he was dodging Eddie Sutton's car.

Miller Out After Straddling Slalom Gate [NBC Olympics]

The fine folks at NoobSports has begun their Bode Miller Experiment, in which they will consume six (6) alcoholic beverages and see how much more difficult it is to zoom down three different double-black diamond slopes in Crested Butte, Colorado.

The "test subject" will do three runs sober, consume the beverages and then do three more runs. The last hill is called "Double Top," and, according to NoobSports, has the most potential for a "Sonny Bono moment." The site also says that at the end of the run, the "test subject" will try a 360 helicopter off a catwalk. What could possibly go wrong?

Bode Miller Experiment, Part I [NoobSports]