The Imaginary Murderer Who Helps Me Fall Asleep

What do you do when you can’t sleep? Some people count sheep, but that sounds boring. One coworker, whom I now hate more than ever, revealed that he just lies there and thinks “about how chill and generally good [his] life is.” This does not apply to most of us. Another coworker says she thinks “about everything that…

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I Paid Someone $200 for Permission to Let My Baby Cry

In the spring of 2014, I paid a woman $200 for permission to let my eight-month-old son cry himself to sleep. Technically, what she did was (1) spend an hour drawing up a “sleep evaluation” based on a “walk-through audit” of my apartment and (2) have a brief chat with my husband and me. Those were nice touches, and…

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