"Mr. Avery has expressed remorse for his recent comments and has sought a professional anger management evaluation," NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said in a league-issued statement. "I will require that he follow through with that process as a condition of his returning to the ice and that he complies with any and all recommendations."

Seriously? This guy has "Man of Leisure" printed on his business cards. Not to sound like Grumpy Old Man, but I remember when "unacceptable and antisocial behavior" was required to play on the fourth line. If anything, Avery should have been forced to play in that game against Calgary so that every goon on the Flames squad could deliver some "anger management evaluations" right there on the ice. Does the league even have goons anymore?

What happened, hockey? You used to be cool.

NHL HANDS AVERY A SIX-GAME SUSPENSION [TSN]

"I would like to sincerely apologize for my off-color remarks to the press yesterday from Calgary. I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate. It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actions were. I caused unnecessary embarrassment to my peers as well as people I have been close with in the past. I apologize for offending the great fans of the NHL, the Commissioner, my teammates, my coaching staff and the Dallas Stars Management and Ownership. As many of you know, I like to mix it up on and off the ice from time to time, but understand that this time I took it too far."

Unfortunately, it could be too late for Avery's career in Dallas. TSN columnist Bob McKenzie speculates that the Stars are so fed up with Avery that he might be released or sent to the minors. None of the Stars' officials or his teammates would accept Avery's apology.

There is still no comment from Dion Phaneuf or any of the Sloppy Seconds in question.

Oh, and apparently "sloppy seconds" is considered too offensive a term for the Philadelphia Inquirer:" The NHL suspended Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery indefinitely for making an inappropriate comment while the team was in Calgary. Avery took a shot at Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf, who is dating Avery's ex-girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert: "I just wanted to comment on how it's become, like, a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my [former girlfriends]."

Jesus...

Sean Avery Apologizes [Unfair Park]