FIFA Sponsors Double Down On Endorsement Of Slavery

If you expected this week’s sham re-election of Sepp Blatter after a massive federal corruption takedown to be the final straw in corporate slave sponsors’ relationship with FIFA, you have far too optimistic a view of the world. McDonald’s, Anheuser-Busch, Coca-Cola, Visa, and other FIFA sponsors are smiling and… » 5/30/15 12:35pm Saturday 12:35pm

All Hail Sepp Blatter, FIFA Emperor-For-Life

As expected, courageous leader, tenacious progressive, and upstanding citizen Sepp Blatter has won re-election as president of FIFA. His impeccable credentials gave him the overwhelming victory over Guy Who Is Not Sepp Blatter, with the first vote ending up 133-73 before Blatter’s opponent generously conceded to the… » 5/29/15 1:23pm Friday 1:23pm

Will There Be Enough Votes To Oust Sepp Blatter?

In about five hours, while you are sleeping soundly, FIFA will begin voting in Zurich for its next president. The secret ballot will be held by the 209 member associations of FIFA, who each hold one vote, meaning that Maldives has the same voting power as Germany. In the first round of voting a candidate must win… » 5/28/15 10:34pm Thursday 10:34pm

FIFA Says There Will Be No World Cup Re-Vote

As the Justice Department arrested or indicted 14 FIFA and media officials in dramatic early morning raids, Swiss authorities announced a criminal investigation of their own, into allegations of corruption and bribery related to the allocation of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups to Russia and Qatar. FIFA says it will not… » 5/27/15 8:50am 5/27/15 8:50am

Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA

According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money laundering.” The Times » 5/27/15 12:50am 5/27/15 12:50am

FIFA Slaves Banned From Attending Relatives' Funerals

The 2022 Qatar World Cup will be brought to you by Coca-Cola on the backs of slave workers, many of whom hail from Nepal. These workers live in filth and work in terrifyingly dangerous conditions; their efforts to build the McDonald’s-funded event will result in one dead worker for every 90 seconds of every… » 5/26/15 10:00am 5/26/15 10:00am

Fenerbahçe Get Four Players Sent Off, Ruin Their Süper Lig Hopes

Fenerbahçe needed a win today at Istanbul Basaksehir to keep their hopes alive of beating rival Galatasaray for the Turkish Süper Lig title. Instead, they earned four red cards and managed a 2-2 draw with only seven players left on the pitch. One of those reds came from a substitute, Pierre Webo, who delivered some… » 5/25/15 5:58pm 5/25/15 5:58pm