When you're watching the spelling bee, do you ever get the sneaking suspicion that some of the kids simply memorized the dictionary?

After a National Spelling Bee filled with children holding back tears in front of a national audience, the academic equivalent of pageant moms, and every appearance from the wonderfully weird home-schooled girl from Philly, it took ESPN's poor sideline reporter to give us the most cringeworthy moment of the night.…

You know what the national spelling needs to make it even more compelling? INJURIES. No one ever gets physically injured during a spelling bee. Oh sure, there's extensive PSYCHOLOGICAL damage that occurs when children get eliminated and their dads won't even give them a hug when they get escorted back to their chair.…

South. S-O-O-U-T-H. South.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee, which alongside poker, cheerleading, and hot dog eating constitute the E for Entertainment in ESPN, featured an actual sports word in the third preliminary round of its competition today in Washington, D.C. as "sabermetrics" made its appearance.

At the tender age of six, Lori Anne Madison just became the youngest person ever to qualify for the Scripps National Nerd Olympics, otherwise known as the Spelling Bee. But despite the media attention and mounting pressure, Lori Anne says she's not nervous at all. "I've been in competitions with older kids before." Her…

Yeah, this is going to get MURDERED by the Finals tonight. But the Spelling Bee really is the tits. ESPN's coverage is a million times better this year, with Sage Steele instead of Erin Andrews (at least in the early rounds), and now they don't spoil the words for you before the kid starts to spell.

This is what happens when a Jamaican kid is given a Sanskrit word, and shipped off back home, never to return.

America's newest tween spelling champion is Anamika Veeramani. Her sponsor for the Scripps National Spelling Bee? The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio. Here's a word for you, Bron-Bron: F-A-C-E-D!

"Over the years words like "Ilanders" (Islanders), "Leaes" (Leafs) and "Bqstqn" (Boston) have found their way onto the Stanley Cup, while more than a dozen players and coaches have had their names butchered." That's Sidney with an I, Louise St. Jacques! Someone with a silent S should know better. [WSJ]