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Olympics Brand Police Not Happy About Athletes Humping With Unauthorized Condoms

As we've seen again and again (and again), the London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (LOCOG) protects Olympic sponsors with the ferocity of a mother bear protecting its cubs. That extends to condoms: when Australian BMXer Caroline Buchanan tweeted this picture of "a bucket of unauthorized… »8/09/12 4:57pm8/09/12 4:57pm

It's A Sad Day For Obscure Movies You Don't Care About

I know I've been writing a lot this week, and I swear, my actual job really does keep me plenty busy, but Daulerio informed me of an impending change at Deadspin that I had to weigh in on. In about 15 minutes, Gawker Media is introducing automated, ad-produced sponsors posts. That means: No more movie quotes, ever… »10/03/08 12:43pm10/03/08 12:43pm

Hey, hey. Yeah you, get up. What are you retarded...

You're gonna wish you never fucking got up this fucking morning asshole, because my boyfriend's gonna fuck you up! And then after that while he's fucking up your fucking gay uncle over there I'm gonna fucking cut off your cock and mail it to your mother, you fucking faggot bitch! You gaylord fucking bitch! How do you… »8/22/08 3:15pm8/22/08 3:15pm

Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and… »8/15/08 3:00pm8/15/08 3:00pm

Spend 10 Minutes Of Your Life Clicking Boxes And You Will Possibly Earn $300

It's Thursday. The day is almost over. Why not spend the rest of your afternoon sharing your personal information for the chance at winning a $300 Visa gift card? Please? Just fill out this little survey »8/14/08 3:45pm8/14/08 3:45pm and you're entered. (No pun intended.) Yes, . Now, get typing. Zorbolt the Gawker advertising robot would like to…

You Have The Voice Of An angel. I Mean, It's Like Fergie Meets Jesus.

Brennan Huff: »8/01/08 3:00pm8/01/08 3:00pm This house is a fucking prison! On Planet Bullshit! In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks! If you agree with these sentiments then because you're clearly ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. This week's Boats 'n Ho's: • Coors Light •Crackle.com •AOL Fanhouse •Eve Online • Puma •T-Mobile • Unscrew America

We'll Camp In The Wilderness And In The Morning We'll Breakfast On Its Haunches!

Georgie: »7/25/08 3:30pm7/25/08 3:30pm Does everything you touch turn to shit? Does this happen to you every time? [weeping] No wonder everybody calls me "Fuck-Head." Georgie: It's a name that's going to stick. I realize that. "Fuck-Head" is gonna ride you to your grave. I already said so, I agreed with you in advance. If you were so zonked…