Snakes. Why'd It Have To Be Snakes?

You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions.

You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, we've got nothing better to do.

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Show Us All The Blueprints

If you let him testify at that hearing, the whole world will see what he's become. They should remember him for what he was.

We'll have him dragged here to Washington. We want to see the whites of his lies.

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Our Breasts Can Always Tell When It's Going To Rain

If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that we're not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told us hoops earrings were her thing and we weren't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh our parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and we had to pretend like we didn't even like them and ... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium! We never told anybody that because we are such a good friend!

Ok, so we're all here 'cause of this book, right? Well, we don't know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.

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Nothing Happened The Way It Was Supposed To Happen

All right, let us tell you about your "God's plan." Six billion people on Earth when the infection hit. KV had a ninety-percent kill rate, that's five point four billion people dead. Crashed and bled out. Dead. Less than one-percent immunity. That left twelve million healthy people, like you, us, and Ethan. The other five hundred and eighty-eight million turned into your dark seekers, and then they got hungry and they killed and fed on everybody. Everybody! Every *single* person that you or we have ever known is dead! Dead! There is no god!

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At Least He's Not Out Taking Illegal Drugs Or Making Some Woman Miserable

When we were — what was it — about five or six? - we were sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny. And we - we cut out this Bugs Bunny off the cover of a comic book and carried it around with us. Carried it around in our pocket and took it out and looked at it periodically, and — and it got all wrinkled up from handling it so much that we asked our mother to iron it on the ironing board to flatten it out, and — and she did, and we were deeply disappointed 'cause it got all brown when she ironed it, and brittle, and crumbled apart.

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We Cannot Defend Freedom Abroad By Deserting It At Home

There's no news, boys, so go out there and make some news. Rob a bank, mug an old lady, whatever - just do something.

To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, we can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. Good night, and good luck.

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Why Don't You Just Kill Us?

You shouldn't forget the importance of entertainment.

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All Our Mother Does Is Work. That's How You Get To Be Spanish.

No telling yet if there's been a crime, but this country's seen a fair amount of disagreements over the years.

Buddy Deeds said a thing, he damn well backed it up. Never be another one like him. You know, that boy of his can't cut it. You ask us, he's all hat and no cattle.

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Did You Drink And Dial?

Listen, man. You're our friend, and we know you care about us. And we know you disapprove, and we respect that. But there are some things that we have to do that you don't understand. You understand literature, movies, wine ... but you don't understand our plight.

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The More You Drive, The Less Intelligent You Are

A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

It helps if you dress like a detective. Detective dress kinda square. If you look like a detective people are gonna think you're packing something.

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You're Not Going To Do It For Free

Well, you know Chick, like old momma said, next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. Every town had somebody who thinks he's tough as a nickel steak; but, they all come to old Speed for the do-re-mi.

Hey, there's no reason about it. Just money.

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You Shouldn't Wear That Body

The next time you come into our courtroom we hope you've got either a better defense, or a better class of client.

Some men, once they get a whiff of it, they trail you like a hound.

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We Are Shiva, The God Of Death

We're not the guy you kill. We're the guy you buy! Are you so fucking blind that you don't even see what we are? We sold out Arthur for 80 grand. We're your easiest problem and you're gonna kill us?

Give us 50 dollars worth. Just drive.

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When You're Pushed, Killing's As Easy As Breathing

Maybe you've lost your faith in people. But you must still be faithful to something. You must still care about something. Maybe we can't change what is. But trying to save a life isn't wasting your life, is it.

What you're trying to do is change what is.

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Silly Daddy, Sleeping On Mommy

We hate L.A. All they do is snort coke and talk.

Wouldn't it be a trip if Alex Trebek bought a nude painting of us?

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Not Many People Have Basements In California

Wethinks our friend is a tad fuckered in the head.

Hey Bullitt, it's been a year: You gonna catch this fucking guy or not?

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What's The Most You Ever Lost On A Coin Toss?

What's this guy supposed to be, the ultimate badass?

Alright then. Two of 'em. Both had our father in 'em. It's peculiar. We're older now then he ever was by 20 years. So in a sense he's the younger man. Anyway, first one we don't remember too well, but it was about meeting him in town somewhere, he's gonna give us some money. We think we lost it. The second one, it was like we was both back in older times, and we was on horseback goin' through the mountains of a night. Goin' through this pass in the mountains. It was cold and there was snow on the ground and he rode past us and kept on goin'. Never said nothin' goin' by. He just rode on past ... and he had his blanket wrapped around him and his head down, and when he rode past we seen he was carryin' fire in a horn the way people used to do, and we could see the horn from the light inside of it. 'Bout the color of the moon. And in the dream we knew that he was goin' on ahead and he was fixin' to make a fire somewhere out there in all that dark and all that cold, and we knew that whenever we got there he would be there.

And then we woke up.

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You Americans, You're All The Same. Always Overdressing For The Wrong Occasions.

Professor of archeology, expert on the occult, and how does one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities.

You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together we've got nothing better to do.

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