Now hold on one second. Penthouse Forum letters aren't real? Didn't you know there is an unusual number of people in this country having sex with amputees?
While attempting to reach second base with your daughter I felt what may or may not have been some balled up tissue. I would like to bring this to your attention as I believe it is in poor taste to mislead your viewership. Please rectify this situation ASAP.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention.It is clear that the Cleveland Frowns also have great respect for ourletters section, a vital part of our magazine that remains very popular withour readers.
BTW, DUAN, I picked up my acoustic guitar from the shop today and I'm absolutely killing the covers in between comments. Fake Plastic Trees, Redemption Song, Two Step, Wish You Were Here: all murdered. Plus, I'm close to learning a couple Death Cab Songs and jamming to some TV on the Radio.
@Saberhagendaaz: I stick to rhythm always on account of my horrid skill level and my fat sausage fingers. Which reminds me that, the ol' Ovation needs a fresh set of strings.
@Jerkwheat: I am lucky enough that I had an ex-girlfriend give me a Martin as a birthday gift (she was expecting a proposal that didn't materialize).
Also, I hear you on the fat fingers, I've got some kielbasa digits myself. That said, if you stick with rhythm to the point you can improvise the rhythm in key, the soloing isn't far behind. Dave worked for me on that, then James Brown, then jazz. Also, a run of open-mics with a blues-rock group helped. Never underestimate the powers of pre-Mike McDonald Doobie Brothers for upping your rhythm game.
@Saberhagendaaz: yeah, I'm a good 7 years removed from the last open-mic night I did with my buddies. Playing regular is definitely what took me from god-awful to moderately awful. I try to play when I can and hope to get back into a regular habit now that I have an empty room downstairs that I can sit down and play/record in quietly.
@Pete Gaines: Mr. Big is the shit (and by the shit, I mean To Be With You was a decent song). It was actually a mainstay for serenading the sororities for a few years. Many a young man's voices were broken on that song.
OK, DUAN: Should I be offended that the Receiveress is going to a tax preparer, being that I'm an accountant? I'm allowed to throw things at her, right?
@White Speed Receiver: I wouldn't throw anything at her, because that could hurt your ability to get at her secret bank accounts in the divorce proceedings.
04/20/09
Just give me the Clark Bar already.
04/20/09
04/20/09
While attempting to reach second base with your daughter I felt what may or may not have been some balled up tissue. I would like to bring this to your attention as I believe it is in poor taste to mislead your viewership. Please rectify this situation ASAP.
/s/
Cleveland Frowns
04/20/09
/sarcasm
04/20/09
02/22/09
(Ironically, of course.)
02/22/09
02/22/09
Taking Chance gets a C
02/22/09
I was told tonight to draft this catcher for the O's in fasnsasty baseball. watch out league!
02/22/09
Aye, Wieters. He went first round in my keeper league free agent draft.
Good luck there.
02/22/09
I saw Craig sumo wrestle the lead singer of Art Brut once. America won.
02/22/09
02/22/09
02/22/09
02/22/09
02/22/09
My vote:
(unfortunately not the original, but y'all probably know it anyway)
02/22/09
02/22/09
[jalopnik.com]
02/22/09
02/22/09
+ Watch video
02/21/09
Any requests? I'll make it extra douchey for you.
02/21/09
02/21/09
And no, there will be no links to any of this.
02/21/09
02/21/09
02/21/09
02/21/09
02/21/09
* Denotes I do not have a work locker.
** Denotes I do not have a genuine Esteban gee-tar.
*** Denotes I would not rock it all night long.
02/21/09
02/21/09
Also, I hear you on the fat fingers, I've got some kielbasa digits myself. That said, if you stick with rhythm to the point you can improvise the rhythm in key, the soloing isn't far behind. Dave worked for me on that, then James Brown, then jazz. Also, a run of open-mics with a blues-rock group helped. Never underestimate the powers of pre-Mike McDonald Doobie Brothers for upping your rhythm game.
02/21/09
02/21/09
/jams two quarters into USB slot.... computer explo
02/21/09
02/21/09
DENIED! Instead, I will be playing "To Be With You" by Mr. Big.
/actually always liked "Signs" but don't know how to play it
02/21/09
Back in my first college stint (before I knew mikedrawcar, for example), we used to rock out to Mr Big quite often.
02/22/09
02/22/09
/actually likes Love Song
//likes Love Hurts too
02/21/09
02/21/09
02/21/09
02/21/09
Also, 3 sleepers for an upset in the tourney: Siena, Creighton, and North Dakota St.
02/21/09
02/21/09