• cheetahmen ii

    Worst Golf Scores Or Worst Video Game? You Decide

    There's no doubt in my mind today's recommendation should be the world's worst video game, Cheetahmen II, because if you decide to play video games instead of finding out what happens in the British Open, you deserve to play something horrible. The story behind this is that 1,500 copies of the unreleased game were found in a warehouse in 1997 then sold, only to find out the game had hardly been debugged. The only redemption, it seems in its cult following, is its music. So there. Watch golf instead. More »

    12:00 PM on Sun Jul 20 2008
    By Matt Sussman
    3,610 views, 26 comments

    Latest by Rainbow Bright: Can't be as bad as Shaq Fu, Athena or Bad Dudes. more »

  • major league manager

    TV Or Command Line Baseball? You Make The Call

    Aside from the British Open, you're probably best not watching TV unless your son/cousin/girlfriend is playing in any of the televised games. Instead, here are your marching orders: find a copy of the old DOS game Major League Manager, plug in any of your successful fantasy teams from this year, start a league that includes the 1927 New York Yankees, and play a seven game series. Then watch a bunch of "graphics" and computer blips simulate a baseball game. Oh wow, that asterisk went above that horizontal line! Home run!! Then, after each game, you can print out the box scores on dot matrix paper, then kick back with a cool, refreshing Crystal Pepsi. That in itself is a full day. More »

    12:00 PM on Sat Jul 19 2008
    By Matt Sussman
    2,245 views, 31 comments

    Latest by Casey Dick in a Box: @44 in a Row: Feh, I can recall playing Abner Doubleday Baseball on my abacus. Okay, perhaps it was Earl Weaver baseball more »

  • kid icarus

    The TV Selection Today, It's the Pits

    What I really need to know, like, soon, is why in Kid Icarus, you die if you go off the screen, even though ten freakin' seconds ago you had just scrolled up from there. Is that a Greek thing? Does the Eggplant Wizard douse the out-of-screen platforms in poisonous ouzo? Or was Pit merely training for his triumphant return, 22 years later, in "Super Smash Brothers Brawl," when everyone dies when they go off screen? These are great questions on which to ruminate, because buddy, there isn't a lot going on in terms of TV today, unless you're into that "Gyro 2008" tournament or whatever it's called. I mean, I like lamb meat as much as the next fellow, but this is ridiculous. But don't worry, it's only 86 more days until Game 5 of the NBA Finals. More »

    11:15 AM on Sat Jun 14 2008
    By Matt Sussman
    1,363 views, 5 comments

    Latest by joe: i'm pretty sure the Wayne's World movies had the most "long-haired-males" in a movie. can anyone confirm this? more »

  • the simpsons arcade game

    When The Simpsons Were Edgy, But Not Funny

    There've been a lot of Simpsons games throughout the years, few of them any good. The one that stands the test of time was probably the original arcade game. I recommend it today as you watch the Indy 500. So I know what you're asking. "Where am I going to find the original arcade machine?" That really isn't my problem. I just make the recommendations. But when you find it, and you get stuck, Progressive Boink has a walkthrough. More »

    12:50 PM on Sun May 25 2008
    By sussman
    5,419 views, 27 comments

    Latest by jiindong: Oh gosh, simpsons game again? This one doesn't looks nice to me. However, I like the simpsons title in nintendo more »

  • solomon's key

    At Least One Jew Went On To Become A Video Game Superhero

    There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation behind my false sense of superiority. I blame today's retro video game pick, Solomon's Key. You see, every five levels or so were grouped together by a sign of the Zodiac. It started with Aries and moved forward. Aquarius, my birth mascot, was one of the last series of levels to play in this puzzle game. It's just a dude with a bucket of water. In retrospect, I had nothing to brag about. But it's a valid reason on which to blame the shortcomings of myself and of what's on TV today. Hope you like softball and lacrosse! More »

    12:00 PM on Sat May 24 2008
    By sussman
    1,832 views, 11 comments

    Latest by Casey Dick in a Box: @Rock You Like An Iracane: Yis. I mean, affirmative. more »

  • sports on tv

    "The Red Sword" Didn't Have The Same Kick

    Since we're working under a closer-based economy, a lot of stuff is already in progress, so let's not dilly dally. Okay, a little bit of sloth is in order. After all, it is Sunday, and I'm by no means a slave driver. As everyone knows, the slaves drive me! Ah, plantation humor. Oh, crud, there go my chances for winning the 1868 election. Your recommended retro video game for today will be the Genesis's Sword of Vermillion, which for some reason always gets left out of discussions of great RPGs. It moves like Dragon Warrior and battles like Legend of Zelda. But it tastes terrible, so for God's sakes, please don't eat the cartridge. More »

    1:25 PM on Sun Apr 20 2008
    By sussman
    1,752 views, 19 comments

    Latest by drjayphd: Eh, sorry, just got done with Breath of Fire. THAT'S an RPG that doesn't get its deserved love. more »

  • legends of the diamond

    NBA Playoffs ... Or Video Game Baseball?

    Well, my fellow Americans, we've got... HEY! Stop putting misspelled captions underneath pictures of cats for ONE SECOND and pay attention here. We've got basketball playoffs for you, and if you don't pay attention to the regular season, you at least start becoming aware of pro hoops around this time. There are two games this afternoon, as well as hockey, tennis, racing ... something for everyone. There's also baseball, but if you need some guaranteed quality baseball, try NES's Legends of the Diamond. Sandlot baseball for Hall of Famers. It's Field Of Dreams without corn. More »

    11:40 AM on Sat Apr 19 2008
    By sussman
    2,068 views, 27 comments

    Latest by DennyCrane: NOW WE SET THE CRACKERS more »

  • startropics ii: zoda's revenge

    TV Listings (With Proper Timestampery)

    Quite exciting, this web log magic. For once the TV listings will show up on the correct date, unless of course I'm merely being preemptively presumptuous and the TV listings for today appear sometime next Thursday on Jalopnik. So let's see where the time-o-meter takes us, so in the meantime, please take some time for StarTropics II: Zoda's Revenge, a game loosely based on Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure — the movie, not the video game. More »

    12:00 PM on Sun Apr 6 2008
    By sussman
    1,187 views, 10 comments

    Latest by Rainbow Bright: Star Tropics was fucking awesome. Well, the first one was. more »

  • defenders of dynatron city

    Buzzsaw Girl Is Not Who You Think

    The telly selection this afternoon is mediocre. And I can say that with a streak of honesty because the TV companies aren't paying me. Now the Internet, on the other hand ... has TONS of great stuff you can read. And a lot of it can be found on this website! Don't question it. Your retro video game for the day will be Nintendo's Defenders of Dynatron City, which was either adapted from a comic book, or from an animated series, or spun off into one. It's hard to tell, the game kind of "lacked interesting things." More »

    12:10 PM on Fri Apr 4 2008
    By sussman
    1,522 views, 2 comments

    Latest by Sex-Panther: I see nibbles has acquired a flux capacitor. more »

  • with halfling kingdoms like this, who needs friends?

    It's TV or Nerd SimCity, Your Choice

    One wonders if Dungeons & Dragons creator Gary Gygax was a big sports guy — we're gonna assume "no" until his estate can prove otherwise — but even he would admit there's a hell of a lot of actual worthwhile games today. The Rockets try to continue their winning streak against the Lakers. The SEC championship somehow became Georgia vs. Arkansas. And a car race with no inclement weather! That's new. And with all of that, he'd probably rather play the old school Stronghold, which is basically Sim-City with saving throws. More »

    12:00 PM on Sun Mar 16 2008
    By sussman
    1,600 views, 16 comments

    Latest by Kishi: Man, I never thought I'd get a lead on an AD&D strategy game from Deadspin. This day keeps getting more »