This is former NBA-er Rick Fox, who was last seen poaching Wild Dushku in Los Angeles, but he spent this weekend without deodorant hanging with a couple of Stormtroopers at Comic-Con. (Everybody went to Comic-Con this year. I believe President Obama is actually the one on the left.)

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Good morning. It's Tuesday. Let's do something productive for once.

Saturday is Star Wars Night with the Western Michigan Whitecaps, where once again science fiction geek and baseball stat nerd call truce and come together for a night of revelry and excitement ("Hey, give me back my inhaler!"). Never before have so many costumed Star Wars characters descended on a minor league ballpark. Never before have your children witnessed Emperor Palpatine taking a leak in a trough urinal. Never before have so many adults been driven to the game by their parents. Plus, the players will be wearing Star Wars-themed jerseys (shown following the jump), Darth Vader will throw out the first pitch, and the National Anthem will be played on guitar by a Clone Trooper. And it's all for charity!

Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

To get you in the mood, here's an action-packed promotional video by the Whitecaps staff, featuring their mascot, Crash, in deleted scenes from Star Wars: A New Hope. (Even though he's wearing a mascot gopher head and can't change expression, he's still a better actor than Hayden Christiansen). Oh, and the young Anakin Skywalker will be there, bragging about his Midichlorian count and using his powers to get all the foul balls. This has become an annual event with the Whitecaps, with members of the 501st Legion, a Star Wars costuming fan group, showing up each year and helping to raise money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation (last year's haul: $3,000). Whitecaps players will be wearing custom Star Wars jerseys for the game, some of which will be auctioned off afterwards for that same charity. Here they be.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yep, the Yankees' new look after they move into their new stadium next year.

And here are the unis the Whitecaps wore for last year's Star Wars Night. If you're in the neighborhood I would highly recommend heading over to Fifth Third Ballpark in beautiful Comstock Park, Michigan, to help a good cause. Just forget about going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters; you can waste time with your friends some other time.

More promotions = Six Flags! More flags, more fun!

• Flight To Nowhere. Tonight, Ft. Myers Miracle (Class A Florida State League). Many of the delights experienced on a typical commercial airline flight will be evident at Hammond Stadium during this game, including mini-bags of peanuts, a security check at the gate, and an in-game movie (caution: may be Turner and Hooch). Plus, aisle seats will be $1 extra, and box seats will be considered first class and reserved grandstand seats will be coach. All aboard!

• '70s Disco Mania Night. Friday, June 27, West Virginia Power (Class A Atlantic League). It's Flashback Friday at Appalachian Power Park, so don't forget your Nehru jacket (but leave the LSD at home).

• Celebrity Baseball Game. Saturday, June 28, Frisco Roughriders (Class AA Texas League). Michael Irvin, Mark Cuban, Mike Modano and DeMarcus Ware are only a few of the big names who will be on hand. And managing the teams will be Wade Boggs and Fred Lynn! Anyone who live blogs this game wins the Internet. [Thanks to Benjamin Hill]

• Sorry, Barry Bonds Will Not Be Playing For The Long Beach Armada. Barry Bonds' agent, Scott Borris, quashes rumors that his client may sign with an Independent League team. So don't get your hopes up, Edmonton Cracker Cats.

We want your minor league tips! Send all game reports, photos, promotional news and horse poetry to RickChand@GMail.com. Affirmed.

We proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!

Finally, Star Wars geeks and Minor League baseball nerds, together in one enclosed space! What's gonna happen? (Whatever it is, it most likely will not involve girls). The West Michigan Whitecaps (Class-A Midwest League) endeavor to find out for sure on Saturday with Star Wars Night, when more than 30 costumed characters from the double-trilogy converge to rock Fifth Third Ballpark with their unique brand of sweaty exuberance.

Not only will fans get a chance to be frisked by a real storm trooper ("these are not the beers you're looking for"), but the Whitecaps will be showing The Empire Strikes Back after the game, and a clone trooper will play the National Anthem on guitar. Plus, Whitecaps players will be wearing special Star Wars-inspired uniforms (shown in all their grandeur after the jump).

Also after the jump: Allen Iverson plays softball, Jesus vs. Cheap, Unlimited Beer, and a mascot poetry jam. Enjoy.

The West Michigan Whitecaps get their geek on for Star Wars Night on Saturday, when they will wear these spiffy unis, which will be auctioned off to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Other promotions this week:

• Allied Waste Ice Cream Helmets. Friday, July 13. Yuma Scorpions (Independent Golden League). Because nothing goes better together on a hot summer day than ice cream and solid waste.

• Allen Iverson Softball Classic. Saturday, July 14. Bowie Baysox (Class-AA Eastern League). Star-studded softball action with Carmelo Anthony, Vivica A. Fox, Floyd Mayweather, Dre Bly, Vince Young, Gilbert Arenas, Luke Perry, and many more!

• Bronx Is Burning Autographs. Sunday, July 15. Connecticut Defenders (Class-AA Eastern League). No, Oliver Platt will not be there; just the author of the book from which the ESPN extravaganza was based. Feel free to ask questions about The Three Musketeers anyway.

• Faith Night/Thirsty Thursday. Thursday, July 19. Ft. Wayne Wizards (Class-A Midwest League). I've always wondered what would happen when a Christian Concert is combined with cheap beer. Should be entertaining. Plus, the Veggie Tales will make an appearance, earning the entire production the coveted "nightmare fuel" tag.

• Mascots Just Don't Understand Iambic Pentameter. There's a reason that not a single baseball mascot has ever written an enduring work of contemporary poetry. Champ, here — the mascot for the Vermont Lake Monsters (Class-A New York Penn League) — gives it his best shot, but the construction is just hopeless. Plus, there's really no excuse for attempting to rhyme "field" and "unreal." See for yourself, from this entry on Champ's own blog:

It's Opening Day,
The wait is through,
See you at Centennial Field.

Where your Lake Monsters will play,
Somedays even two,
T'will at times seem almost unreal.

Men with dreams of The Show,
Will soon enough know,
The power of playing in Vermont,

And as the season goes,
The hitting and throws,
Glorious headlines printed in large font.

Another year has arrived,
The winter, we survived,
Now is the time to succeed.

Together if we try,
Through September we'll fly,
The playoffs? You gotta believe!

Talk with you soon,
Champ

Even so, the blog is still better than 38 Pitches.

• Player Of The Week. Matt Elliot, pitcher, Mobile BayBears (Class-AA Southern League). After giving up a run against the Montgomery Biscuits to tie the game in the eighth, Elliot visited the bathroom behind the visitor's dugout and accidently locked himself in. By the time he got out (elapsed time 47 minutes), the BayBears had gone to another pitcher and lost, 5-4.

We want your minor league tips! Send any photos, first-person accounts or mascot poetry to RickChand@GMail.com. And thanks!

What you're seeing here are Thunder and Jackpot, the mascots for the Lake Elsinore Storm of the Single-A California League, who appear ready to kick some Sith ass. Thunder is a dog, and Jackpot is a rabbit, in case you were wondering. What's a Sith? We have no idea, nerd. But it's apparently evil and can only be dispatched by fluffy costumed characters on loan from the ice capades.

These are the main players in Storm Wars, Episode II, the pulse-pounding sequel to last year's Storm Wars, Episode I, both short films which were written and produced by Storm Director of Graphic Communications Mark Beskid. The 14-minute extravaganza will be shown as the feature attraction at Star Wars Night, as the Storm take on the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes tonight at 6:05 p.m. (PST). The Lake Elsinore Storm are very proud to bring together baseball stat geeks and scif-fi geeks; their feeling being that, unless these two groups can come to some kind of mutual understanding, there can be no hope for peace in the Middle East.

Let's just move on to Beskid himself, who explains the film like this:

In a nutshell, Storm Wars II picks up where Storm Wars I left off. There is an evil presence in the California League, and a bounty hunter has been sent to kill all the mascots. All entertainment has been banned. It's a fight for survival!

Several more exclusive action stills from Storm Wars, Episode II appear after the jump, as well as, for some reason, a photo from a Red Sox game. And we really don't mean to make fun; we think what Beskid has done is kind of awesome, actually.

This week's featured minor league promotions:

• Anger Management Night. Sunday, Augusta GreenJackets (South Atlantic League). The Greenjackets will honor everyone's favorite raving lunatic, Asheville Tourists manager Joe Mikulik, by passing out stress balls to the first 250 fans and distributing copies of an Anger Management DVD. Also, Spencer Johnson's classic book "Who Moved My Cheese?" will be available. And don't miss the base-throwing contest!

• T.O. Unappreciation Night. Thursday, Atlantic City Surf, Atlantic League. The ultimate Terrell Owens blowup will occur on Thursday, as anyone with T.O. memorabilia will receive two upper box seats. There will also be 81 cent hot dogs and dollar beers, and, wait for it ... Terrell Owens whoopee cushions. All of the unusable Owens garb will be blown up in a fireworks display later that evening. This whole thing is being conducted by Philadelphia morning show "superstar" Angelo Cataldi, in case you didn't know. (Thanks to Travis Witmeyer).

• Further Breaking Portland Beavers News. Reader Kevin Desjardins reports: "While following the Minor Enterprise links on Timber Jim in Portland, I came across this on the PGE Park web page.": Roughly 20-25 feral cats inhabit PGE Park for rodent control. The cats are fed and watered by PGE Park staff at the Feral Cat Station, located just behind the Beavers bullpen in left field.

• Mascot Of The Week: Reader Jon Boswell reports: "The Wilmington Blue Rocks aren't the only Red Sox affiliate with a ridiculous mascot. The Lowell Spinners, NYPL affiliate of the Sox, have a toothbrush named Bristles that the kids, for whatever reason, go absolutely crazy for. Bristles takes the field in the fifth inning each night to sweep the bases clean in his magical sprint around the bases."

• Bobblehead Of The Moment: Donald Trump Bobblehead Giveaway. Saturday, Lakewood BlueClaws, South Atlantic League. We're not exactly sure that this is the actual bobblehead that many lucky BlueClaws fans will receive, but it has to be reasonably close. An item that's always fun to have on your desk as you're firing that special employee. (Hair sold separately).

We continue with action stills from the highly-anticipated minor league baseball short film Storm Wars, Episode II ... except for that last one, which just kind of snuck in there.