Smith, who is employed by FoxSports Radio, is now reporting, in a "Special to FOXSports.com" that Iverson may sign a contract and return to play for the Philadelphia 76ers, the team where he played the best basketball of his career.

Numerous team sources confirmed on Friday that the 76ers' brass has already talked - and talks will only escalate this weekend - about bringing Iverson back to Philadelphia. Possibly as early as next week."

SAS also reports that if Iverson does in fact end up signing with the 76ers, there is no doubt he will start, thereby eliminating the source of much of the friction Iverson caused during his stops in Detroit and Memphis. A source with the team maintains that they have "nothing to lose by bringing Iverson back" and that the team is "very boring right now."

As you may recall, Smith returned to writing columns for The Philadelphia Inquirer on November 12th and the fact that he keeps publishing columns for other media entities is puzzling, to say the least. But of course, there has to be a method to Smith's madness. They don't just hand out acting gigs on General Hospital to anyone.

Sixers appear ready to bring back Iverson [FoxSports]
Columnist Breaks Iverson Retirement Story Elsewhere [Maynard Institute]
(previously on Deadspin) The Trailer Has Cheesy Doodles, Right?

As you can probably imagine, Stephen A. Smith is partially responsible for this double dealing on ESPN's website. (They still haven't changed it, btw.) He was the first to publish the report that Iverson would retire after his attempt to sign with the Knicks fell through. A report that no one wants to believe. Even SAS admits that Iverson doesn't really want to quit, and John Thompson says he won't allow it to happen, and sooner or later someone is going to need a point guard, so really ... he's not retired.

But he still could be! So until then ... dual contradicting headlines will do just fine. Now who needs another turkey sandwich?

Report: Allen Iverson planning to retire from the NBA [ESPN - thanks JB!]

* * * * *

If you're at work today, I'm sorry about that. I really have no idea what's going on here, but we'll be posting some stuff about something until we aren't anymore. Stick around or don't, but withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy.

Dear Guild member,

We are pleased to announce that today Stephen A. Smith returns to the Inquirer as a Sports Columnist.

In August, Arbitrator Richard Kasher ruled that Philadelphia Newspapers did not have good and reasonable cause to terminate Stephen and ordered that he be reinstated to his former position and receive a portion of the back pay he would have earned since being unjustly fired in January 2008.

The Guild first grieved Stephen's August 2007 demotion to general assignment reporter, then his termination and the matter was taken to arbitration. Once again, Guild counsel Neal Goldstein was successful in bringing one of our members back to work, his 10th consecutive victory against the employer.

While Stephen was eager to return to work immediately following Arbitrator Kasher's ruling in August, Philadelphia Newspapers repeatedly challenged the arbitrator's decision and later attempted to reassign Stephen, all of which led to a forceful letter from the arbitrator clearly ordering the company to reinstate Stephen to his Sports Columnist title.

I'M BACK [SAS Twitter]

A reader claims to have spotted this elusive creature on a "Chicago to NYC flight sunday night." An actual crew member from the long lamented "Quite Frankly" show. He's either very proud of the work he did on that short-lived sports spectacular or he desperately needed something to keep him warm. Cue the sad violins.

This is the part where I would write a SAS-like non-sequitur IN ALL CAPS ... but I don't want you to see me cry.

* * * * *

Tuesday. Say it loud, say it proud.

In his decision, Arbitrator Richard R. Kasher found that Smith's firing violated the paper's CBA with the Philadelphia Lollipop Newspaper Guild, and ordered the Inquirer's parent company to make things right. This could potentially pave the way for Smith's return as a columnist, or (more likely) lead to some type of monetary award. And based on how much Smith was scheduled to earn, it could be a nice chunk o' change:

According to the Guild account, [Smith's] agreement called for Smith to write a minimum of 75 columns a year for an annual salary of $125,000. At the end of one year, in February of 2006, Smith would have the option of resigning, of extending the agreement, or of returning as a full-time columnist, at a salary of $190,000.

The Guild reported the contract said if he went back to full-time employment, his salary would increase to $205,000 in June 2006, and to $225,000 in June 2007. Smith ultimately chose to return to work at the paper full-time.

With newsroom layoffs taking place at the beginning of 2007, Editor William Marimow [Ed. note: Hey, that's David Simon's old boss!] balked at awarding a $20,000 raise.

While Stephen A. has since moved on to bigger and better things, this has to be a welcome result for him. Now he can focus his attention on that other gross injustice plaguing his career- his continued exclusion from the Deadspin Hall of Fame.

Firing of 'Inky' Sports Columnist Stephen Smith 'Unjust,' Arbitrator Rules [Editor & Publisher]

Stephen A. wasn't a presence at the NBA Draft this year, which meant the official retirement of the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society. Which is just tragic.

But the fun with Stephen A. — started way way back when — continues. At some points, Stephen A. and Deadspin have reached a bit of an uneasy peace, but those points never last very long. Wherever there's Stephen A. out there opining, we'll be there.

But is it it enough to get him in the Hall of Fame? Seventy five percent is the threshold for induction. Vote below: Polls will be open through the weekend.

The people who run MSNBC evidently think its audience is so glue-sniffingly dumb that they can throw Stephen A. on air — someone whose sole asset is that he can be emphatic on cue — and pass him off as a knowledgeable voice on anything but the loud barking in his head. I guess that's not really a surprise. What is a surprise is that Stephen A. is suddenly pitching himself as the all-capped and bold-faced pundit voice of ... calm. Watch:

To summarize, for those who can't watch flagrant punditry at work: Conservatives should "disassociate and distance themselves" from the words of aggrieved white male Glenn Beck. "But let's be fair," he takes care to add. "I don't think the conservatives have a corner market [sic?] on extremism. I think we can see extremism to the left sometimes, too." And don't go around assuming that Beck speaks "for those people with the tea partiers," lest you "taint everybody with that broad brush."

Look at that. There's the usual frantic noise-making to no end whatsoever, but, in essence, Screamin' A. is saying whoa, whoa, whoa to America. A cynic would point out that this is simply the fallback position of someone who pretty plainly has not a clue what he's talking about. Still, this is a remarkable cultural moment: Stephen A. is on a major cable network, loudly taking the middle road and telling the country to chill out. I'm shocked, quite frankly.

Stephen A. Smith: Conservatives need to "disassociate and distance themselves" from Beck's comments [Media Matters]

Watch how frustrated he becomes after each entry, as he realizes that some of his posts might be taken out of context if they stand alone ("Black folks not doing a better job of supporting what we claim to love. Notice, I didn't say YA'LL. I said US. Me included. We can do better") by immediately following them up with another +140 character statement designed to better explain what he meant by the previous one. This leads to about 14 sentence fragments into the scarps of hell that would make even the most spastic of 14-year-old girls shake their head in bewilderment. But oh what a treat it will be during Thursday night's NBA draft.

*****

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Major site/comment-related news tomorrow.

And tonight — commenting ability will be shutdown at 10 p.m. So those who are still up for impressing strangers with your late night witticisms should seek out The Rookies tonight to get your fix.

Hold tight and keep your leg inside the vehicle at all times.

Stephen A. TWEETS:

@ch1chi Can't answer if I'm not logged on, dear. And quite honestly, I have better things to do with my time than talk about cheesedoodles

This is a recent change in policy, apparently. Our old friends at the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society Of Gentlemen told us that's not what Stephen A. typed back on his personal blog last month to an anti-SAS commenter named Patrick, who decided to rip his career and his favorite cheese-flavored corn snack at 4:17 a.m.

You're entitled to your opinion, Patrick. I'm entitled to disagree. But, just so ya know, since when is Cheeze Doodles a form of mockery? I happen to love Cheeze Doodles. In fact, I'm eating some right now. And I'll have some tomorrow, too. And Sunday. Take care.

I'm already starting to feel wistful about the upcoming Stephen A-less NBA Draft. Hopefully, we'll still get the sock.

At Standings, they have all sorts of weird sports-related memorabilia hanging all over the place. It's almost like a Man Cave Museum: old pennants, random jerseys, crinkled newspaper articles, etc. But most pathetic was this Stephen A. seat cushion, hanging near the front door. Remarkably, the owner wouldn't sell it to me even though I assured him that it would be for a good cause. (Lied.) But he has his principles and implied that any removal of even the most random, useless object from his tiny, dirty bar would result in some sort of Feng Shui fuck-up of epic proportions. If anyone else happens to be in that bar anytime soon, steal this for me. I'm still decorating my apartment.

First known victim, 790 The Ticket Zone in Atlanta, where the "Two Live Stews" let Stephen explain to everyone how great he is.

I just looked in the mirror fellas and I said you know I'm 41 years of age, I've got a little cash stashed away…I'm a proud single daddy no question about that, but it's just one of those things, man, where I just reached a point where at age 41 with about 20 to 25 years left in this business me doing my speaking engagements around the country, me representing the communities specifically the African-American community throughout this country being one of the preeminent voices out there… if this is where I stop, then at age 41, I'm not growing anymore and I couldn't live with that."

Also Stephen A. made sure to let the people know that his departure wasn't a "Keith Olbermann situation," which implies that he didn't make any outrageous salary demands (ahem) or make Suzy Kolber cry.

The NY Post's Faux Mariotti, Phil Mushnick, took exception to Smith's hubris and unloaded, going as far to implore black people to not fall for Stephen A.'s self-aggrandizing:

Geez, he was just dumped for being a self-promoting, self-aggrandizing, self-congratulatory, race-hustling, blowhard and sports know-nothing and he still was unable to subjugate his bombast long enough to allow you a minute to feel sorry for him.

Yep, despite all ESPN's media platforms, it no longer had room for a wildly popular, in-demand fellow who's one part Martin Luther King and one part Daniel Webster (but mostly like Sean Salisbury). Smith's so delusional he'd insult those he considers his greatest admirers. He apparently feels that black Americans find him less full of it than everyone else.

So was the first part of that paragraph Phil Mushnick imitating Stephen A. Smith or Phil Mushnick imitating Phil Mushnick? Regardless, one of them should really pen an autobiography titled "Subjugating The Bombast."

Impossible To Feel Sorry For Stephen A. [NY Post]
Stephen A. Elaborates on The End Of The Relationship With ESPN [Sports Radio Interviews]

The laff riot that is the ESPN First Take TwitPic feed just keeps on churning out the hits. Aquafina and Tropicana? Gotta stay hydrated for all that yelling.

Mornin' folks. Your regularly scheduled DAULERIO is at church solemnly observing Good Friday, so it's me and the Rickster today (whither Dashiell?). If you've got anything fun and exciting to share, pass it along to pete@deadspin.com as well as the usual tips@deadspin.com.

****
It's Friday. Start drinking.

Chris Mihm was traded from the probable 2009 champions in L.A. to the basketball graveyard known as Memphis yesterday in exchange for ... nothing. The Lakers actually gave cash and in return, received a conditional 2013 draft pick that they will never be able to cash in. Officially, it had nothing to do with this shoving match between Mihm and DJ Mbenga at practice on Monday. Coach Phil Jackson even says that everyone liked the guy a lot. But I'm just going to go ahead and say that if it's a choice between one backup center and another backup center who likes to get punchy... you're going to stick with the non-punchy guy.

So anyway, if you're looking to find a new home and want to properly alienate management to facilitate that move, clocking a teammate in the face would certainly help. Oh, and be sure to call Stephen A. Smith after you do. He's working hard today!

Chris Mihm traded to Memphis [LA Times]
Lakers Fight in Practice [Breibart]

Hmm, I hope this doesn't hurt Stephen A's impeccable journalism reputation.

On Sunday, Smith reported on ESPN that Bosh "had already told" the Raptors that he wouldn't re-sign in Toronto when he contract expires in 2010. Not so, says Bosh. From the Toronto Star:

The apparently non-issue arose Sunday when ESPN entertainer Stephen A. Smith boldly stated that the 24-year-old Bosh had told team officials he was leaving in a season and a half, not even citing anonymous sources. It brought a quick denial today from both Bosh and Colangelo.

"It was a surprise to me and I can't be responsible for what other people say so ...," said Bosh, his voice trailing off in disgust. "I understand people are entitled to an opinion but making stuff up? We can't do that. Let's all be fair."

So the question here remains, does ESPN have any editorial oversight whatsoever? How do you report on something like this and not even cite an anonymous source? Stephen A. addressed this on his blog last night.

In case anyone didn't comprehend what I reported first on ESPNews Sunday morning, then SportsCenter Monday night, let me be clear: My sources tell me Chris Bosh wants out of Toronto. Preferably before 2010, when he's free to opt out of his contract. They've also informed me Bosh has quietly made the Raptors aware of this, that he wouldn't mind interest from Miami or Dallas, at all, and that he's hopeful his days as a Raptor will come to an end sooner than when the LeBron James' Sweepstakes hits the fan in 2010.

Both Bosh and Raptors' President, Bryan Colangelo have emphatically denied Bosh has made the Raptors aware of anything. Feel free to believe them if you want to. And while you're at it, feel free to to conveniently forget that Damon Stoudamire, Marcus Camby, Tracy McGrady and Vince Carter all echoed similar sentiments before they skipped town, too.

So "Bosh has already told the Raptors" has been downgraded to "Bosh has quietly made the Raptors aware of this." But how quietly, one wonders? Hallmark card? Twitter? Honey bee hive colony dance?

By the way, is the comments section on Stephen A's blog being censored? I looked over the past seven posts, and not a negative comment to be found. That seems very odd ... unbelievable, actually.

Bosh Shoots Down Trade Talk [Toronto Star]
Boshed [Stephen A. Smith Blog]

• Screw Baseball. Screw It Right In The Ass. As of 4 p.m. today, the Yankees have spent $423 million on free agents this offseason. New York now has a record number of homeless families. Six months ago, the Yankees asked the city of New York for an additional $480 million to fund that new piece of crap stadium. They bulldozed parks that used to be playgrounds for the children of the South Bronx. There were plenty of shady backroom deals involving the market value of Yankee Stadum. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, NYC taxpayers. Get angry, because you should be. How much is too much? Personally, I'm done with baseball, until they implement a salary cap. [Babes Love Baseball]

• Christmas At The Teixeiras'. Mark — Ah, it’s good to be back in Maryland. All the stress of the last few weeks has really made me miss home. There’s no place like home for Christmas, right mom? Mark’s mom — Boooooo! Booooooo! [Bugs And Cranks]

• Yankees Land Mark Teixeira! I had wanted them to trade for Mark back when he was on Texas two seasons ago because they could have acquired him for a couple of their super hyped minor leaguers and he was young enough to warrant giving up premium talent, but they passed back then. Not today. I still think they are another bat short. Will Cashman dip in the well of free agency one more time to acquire you know who? [Pinstripe Alley]

• Teixocker! Teix Says No To Nats! In the end, Steinbrenner money is greener than Lerner money: 8 years, $180 Million greener. Don't worry, Nats fans, Jimbo has Adam Dunn on speed dial. And like a lump of coal in your stocking: Corey Patterson! (and don't forget Daniel Cabrera)! [The Nationals Enquirer]

• A Nightmare Before Christmas: Teixeira Signs With Yankees. Most fans in the Baltimore area were hoping Teixeira would defy the odds and sign with the O’s, lending the team instant credibility. Signing Teixeira would have legitimized the once proud franchise, if not in the standings (where he couldn’t win games alone) but in terms of perception. Had they signed Tex, Baltimore would have looked like a legit landing place for free agents. Now, they look like the perennial also-rans that they have been for some time. [Orioles Examiner]

• Teixeira Signs: Winners And Losers. The Losers: Manny Ramirez: Now that the Yankees have signed Teixeira they’re extremely unlikely to sign Manny. Who is going to give Ramirez the longterm contract he wants? Probably nobody (unless Ned Coletti goes on a bender). [UmpBump]

• The Recession Certainly Isn't Bothering The Evil Empire. Good lord. I honestly though that the Yankees were out of the Mark Teixeira sweepstakes, but apparently I was wrong. Not only have the Yanks signed three players in the offseason totaling $423,500,000, but they now have four of the MLB's highest paid players on their roster. And while everyone in and around Baseball is rolling their eyes, there is one man who thinks this is a great idea. Stephen A. Smith! [Awful Announcing]