Taking Down The USA, One Touchdown At A Time

Every year, usually more than once a year (whenever there's a major sporting event), some soulless, dumb "research firm" tries to convince us that the office workers of America are somehow skirting their duties serving The Man by paying so much attention to something that might divert them from staring at a computer… » 1/25/07 12:15pm 1/25/07 12:15pm

Your Handy Super Bowl XXXXI Human Interest Guide: The Chicago Bears

The endless loop of Super Bowl XXXXI coverage is about to begin, and we like to consider ourselves the Mainstream Media's Little Helpers. We're about to all be deluged with a flood of human interest stories — we can use that metaphor because the Saints lost — so we thought we'd make it easier on all the desperate… » 1/24/07 12:45pm 1/24/07 12:45pm

Tank Johnson Will Be Allowed To Violate O-Linemen's Probation

Well, the wheels of justice grind gloriously in the land of Chicago. Defensive lineman Tank Johnson — whose name is not Feelings Johnson for a reason — will be able to play in the Super Bowl. A Cook County judge just ruled less than an hour ago that Tank will be able to travel with the team to Miami. » 1/23/07 11:45am 1/23/07 11:45am