Remember six months ago, when Swiss authorities raided a luxury hotel in Zurich to arrest a number of FIFA officials, on behalf of the U.S. Justice Department? Luckily for those of us who want to see the incompetent and corrupt world soccer organization brought to its knees, it’s happening again!
Good news broke today, and that news is that Switzerland has opened a criminal investigation against Sepp Blatter, the current FIFA president who just will not die. He’s facing suspicion of “criminal mismanagement” and “misappropriation.”
Usually, you’d think you’d know about a team after a long World Cup qualifying campaign, especially one that traversed the oft-difficult UEFA gauntlet. But one question still engulfs Switzerland as they head to Canada: are they any good?
Ooooh, there's that boy Brek Shea! Maybe he did learn something on those cold, rainy Wednesday nights with Stoke's U21 team, after all!
FC Grenchen, of Switzerland's fourth division, suck at soccer. In their last nine matches, they've collected all of zero points while shipping 66—yes, 66—goals, 10 of which came at the feet of FC Luzern's youth squad. Following that horrific result, Grenchen's sporting director decided to cut 11 players.
Argentina took on Switzerland today in the round of 16. Like so many other matches in the knockout stage, this game was deadlocked after 90 minutes, which meant the teams had to play on for 30 more minutes. Twenty-eight minutes in, shit got nuts.
Wanna talk about the game? Here you go.
Argentina have yet to put together a performance worthy of the many stars they've brought with them to Brazil. Despite gaining the full nine points from the group stage, Argentina's play was a disappointment to the vast majority of those who'd tipped them as pre-tournament favorites to win it all. Gone is the…
Yep, that's a goddamned banger.
We noted yesterday how awesome Colombian broadcast goal calls are, but Costa Rica and Ecuador are offering just as stiff a challenge. Here's every goal scored yesterday, as heard back in that country. (Costa Rica is above, from national radio. It includes singing.)
After just barely qualifiying for the World Cup, it looks like France have finally gotten their shit together, and are currently putting the fear of God into Switzerland. They're up 3-0, thanks in part to two goals scored just one minute apart midway through half.
Here's your daily highlight reel of goals as called by announcers from the countries that scored them. GOL!!!
Just when it looked like Switzerland and Ecuador were content to see off a fairly boring, poorly played draw, the Swiss rode a barnstorming counter in literally the last few seconds of the match to win 2-1.
When the World Cup groups were drawn in December, many of the top seeds—Brazil, Spain, Germany, Argentina—were perennial giants. A few—Colombia, Uruguay, Belgium—raised a few eyebrows for, if nothing else, their novelty as a world superpower. One country in particular, Switzerland, didn't seem to belong at all. And…
The Swiss took bronze in the women's Olympic hockey tournament today, thanks to this heads up play by 15-year-old forward Alina Muller. Down 3-2 with just over two minutes left to play, the Swedish team pulled its goalie to get an extra attacker on the ice. One minute later, Muller sent home the empty netter.
In the opening game of group play for Switzerland and Latvia, the Swiss won with the hockey equivalent of the magic bullet. Simon Moser was credited with the goal because his pass, headed for Nino Niederreiter in front of the goal, was tipped by goaltender Edgars Masalskis's stick into defender Georgijs Pujacs's arm…
It's still disturbing to watch Ronny Keller go head-first into the boards, knowing he remains a paraplegic three weeks after the incident in a second-tier Swiss playoff game. But it's good and right that Stefan Schnyder, the player whose hit sent Keller flying, won't face a suspension, let alone criminal charges.
Horrible news of out Switzerland, after a brutal hit during a playoff game in the second-tier Nationalliga B left defenseman Ronny Keller paralyzed. Via Puck Daddy, the 33-year-old Keller was checked from behind by Stefan Schnyder, sending him into the board head-first. This is exactly what the NHL is trying to…