tards - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Ah, the penis. That most comical and vulnerable of body parts. It was a bad year for all of us, but for the approximately 1.2 billionth year in a row since the emergence of sexual differentiation, it was a particularly rough year for groins. This selection of real, horrible injuries proves that Murp...

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Consider this the crotch-clenching companion piece to our annual look at American insertion: a collection of the worst penis-related mishaps to befall our great nation last year....

Do You Know These Runners? Because They're Probably Bastards.
Everyone wanted to be in the Boston Marathon this year, and the race actually expanded its field by more than a third, to 36,000, to accommodate everybody. But it still sold out, and then there's that pesky detail of having to pay. So four runners decided they'd find alternative means of entry, clai...

Plane Banner Insults Are Now Played Out In English Soccer
Last Sunday, West Ham played Wigan away in a battle to avoid relegation. Things didn't work out so well for the Hammers. Rival fans from Millwall chose the very moment that Wigan sealed West Ham's fate to fly a plane over the stadium with a mocking banner. Avram Grant, by the way, is the West Ham ma...

A Conversation With The Two Lucky Bastards Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards
Yesterday, we published the somewhat implausible tale about the two guys who accidentally got trapped in Camden Yards after a rainout and who turned the empty ballpark into their own personal playground and brew pub. They've come forward with more details....

Gross Picking His Nose? Gross Picking His Nose.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?
And no, it is not the guy in the picture, I am fairly certain. But the beauty of Malcolm Gladwell is, I now know who Adonal Foyle is!...

Leave Bill Belichick Alone!
This guy must have watched the Crazy Britney Fan video at least fifty times to achieve this degree of nuance, and for that I salute him. He also gets a couple points for the Brady jersey. Not sure about the touque, though. I managed not to laugh out loud until near the end, when he slipped in one fi...

ESPN Is Just CRAWLING With Sexual Harassers
On his radio show Friday, ESPN fella Dan LeBatard, because he's out in Miami and apparently no one in Bristol listens out there, had a few choice words to say about the Woody Paige, "Cold Pizza" sexual harassment case. He called ESPN "filled with sexual harassment" and said "it's actually funny." An...

Mike Tyson: Portrait of a Rapist With a Corky Tongue
So, here're the mugshots from Iron Mike's arrest. Maybe the Special Olympics could use a boxer this year?...
