When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I got to sixth grade, I put away childish things. Such as boring words like cool and fun and good and bad, which in an effort to promote more expressive writing, the Wall Street Journal says are now banned in many…
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today we’re covering Secret Service whipping boys, tennis grunts, hookup injuries, and more.
A 22-year-old substitute teacher was arrested and charged after she allegedly performed oral sex on a 17-year-old high school football player during an Oct. 17 pep rally. The player also reportedly asked her to perform "sex acts" as many times as his jersey number. (The jersey number wasn't specified.)
Houston CBS affiliate KHOU dropped a story on its website this morning about a middle school teacher who admits she gave a student a lap dance during class. Somehow, the lap dance part is the least weird thing about it.
Texas middle school student Reginald Wells was knocked out with a punch to the face by a teacher last Friday after Wells cracked a joke about the teacher's favorite football team.
A Pittsburgh-area high school teacher who police say confessed to arriving at school high on heroin and passing out in class had only two words for comment-seeking media members today: "Roll Tide."
Now that all that messy business of sleeping with one of her former students is behind her, Sarah Jones and that former student are ready to consummate their relationship, perhaps by having dinner and seeing a movie.
Sarah Jones has had a busy couple of years. In 2010, the former Ben-Gal (ugh) attempted to sue TheDirty.com for claiming she was riddled with STDs from sleeping with Cincinnati players. That was good! (Although her lawyer mistakenly sued the wrong company, so she was unable to collect.) In December she was arrested…