The United States Does Not Have An Official Language, No Matter What The MLB Network Tells You

The establishment of an official language has long been a political flashpoint. Though it was once a favored cause for Presidents of generally good repute, it's now mostly a topic invoked to effortlessly rile up nativists and a touchstone for people hell-bent on alienating furr-uh-nurrs. Ordinances have been passed… »3/09/13 10:05am3/09/13 10:05am


93 Years After His Death, Teddy Roosevelt Finally Wins The Presidents Race At Nationals Park

This is a great day for America. What, the presidential debate tonight? Psh. No, it's because Teddy is finally off the schnide, having won his first-ever Presidents Race after 525 consecutive losses, thanks to some assistance from a faux-Phillie Phanatic. Ryan Zimmerman then homered to lead off the next inning and tie… »10/03/12 2:20pm10/03/12 2:20pm

Jayson Werth Can't Even Help His Favorite "Racing President" Nationals Mascot Win

"Give Werth credit: he tried to force the issue Friday night, hanging around on the warning track between innings and attempting to block George, Tom, and Abe on the track in right field (with a little help from members of the Nats bullpen). Alas, Teddy still did not win." [Nationals Enquirer] »9/24/11 1:00pm9/24/11 1:00pm