"I'm not a very modest person, so I was really feeling it. I was having a good time and trying to feel sexy in my own body; I think it worked. The pictures and the layout came out very classy. Playboy is a very classy operation all around. It was important to me, because I'm representing an athlete and her body, so I wanted it to come out showcasing that."

Yes, ma'am. Harkleroad hopes this shoot will "broaden" her profile and to let people know that she's not just another hot chick on the WTA. No, she's proud of her body and works hard for it, and it was probably a nice payday. Apparently, she saw Ana Ivanovic's relatively tame FHM cover shoot and raised her, well, full-frontal nudity. No word on whether this profile-broadening will help Harkleroad's world ranking, currently at 65.

The photos in their censored form can be seen at the WTA Tennis blog, with convenient little boxes that cover up most of Harkleroad's boobocity. If you're looking for bare-assed Ashley, well, there are apparently a few scumbags floating around the Tennisforum.com who've got themselves a scanner(the pages load slowly, so, if you're in a rush to get out for summer hours, it might not be worth it. Oh, and probably not safe for work unless you are Justin Gimelstob. )

The sun-shaped tramp stamp is a predictable, yet pleasant surprise.

Ah, Fridays...

Ashley Harkleroad Photos In Playboy [WTA Tennis Blog]
An Interview With Ashley Harkleroad [ESPN The Mag]

You know, back in the days before I was married it used to take panties coming off to get me excited. Now panties going on does the trick just as well. In related news noted women's right advocate Justin Gimelstob announced that all women should play without panties on the WTA.

Jelena Jankovic is shy [With Leather]
Try not to leer at Jelena Jankovic while she changes her underwear in the middle of the match [The Big Lead]
Jelena Jankovic takes her panties off [Sports Crunch]

This from Machochip:

The two have been dating for quite some time now, making their romance public two years ago when the lovely vixen was 18 years old (you sly dog, Nadal). She was at Nadal’s side during his streak-severing winning performance against five-time Wimbledon champ Roger Federer yesterday and now the world will know about her.

This is a big deal in Spain, evidently. More photos here.

Shwing! Meet Rafael Nadal's Secret Girlfriend: Maria Francesca "Xisca" Perello [Machochip]
Rafael Nadal Has It All: Muscles, Wimbledon Trophy And A Secret Girlfriend Named Maria Francisa Perello [Guanabee]

Lucky for London, Richard Williams won't be causing any havoc in the stands, knocking straweberries out of bored spectator's hands. According to ESPN, he'll fly back to the United States on Friday and "doesn't plan to watch a single point of the final on television", because he can't bear to watch. Will Ferrell won't be there either, as far as I know.

Venus Rolls past Dementiva; Serena beats Zheng [ESPN]

"Being pro women's rights, I just think we've come farther than to be referred to ... you know, I don't cuss," [Williams] said Friday, during her post-match press conference. "Anna is a great girl. For anyone to say that about her is kind of ... what can I say? It's not professional."

In addition to his apology, Gimelstob also made a donation to the Women's Sports Foundation to show sporty women all over the world that he's just playin' when he calls them "bitches" or comments on how built they are. In a stunning twist of comeuppance which seems highly appropriate at this time, I received an email the day of Deadspin's original Gimelstob post which I found enlightening. (Sic, throughout, please):

Hey AJ,

Who else can I tell this to? I am, and have been, fucking Justin Gimelstob's first cousin for 5 years. She's a freak. We've been fuck buddies the whole time, and she likes to fly me to her for weekends of debauchery. They are related through Herb Gimelstob, a man so rich Donald Trump said of him, "This is one of the richest fucking Jews in Florida" and that's saying something. AJ, I'm not sure of what use this data is to you, but I think its hilarious. Let me emphasize, this chick is a FREAK (in a Jewish Princess sort of way).

I encourage this individual to make a donation and apologize for his derogatory remarks about Mr. Gimelstob's cousin as soon as possible. It's only fair.

Gimelstob apologizes for remarks [NJ.com]
Junkies Ears Gimelstob One Match Suspension [D.C. Sports Bog]

Yes, Wimbledon has hired marksmen to shoot pigeons out of the sky before they can flap their dirty wings and evacuate droplets of white poo upon unsuspecting tennis pros and restaurant goers. Extreme? Yes. And PETA isn't happy with this approach:

The decision to call in the marksmen was condemned as "cruel and illegal behavior" by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which complained to the tournament organizers and the police.

"Since the use of marksmen to kill pigeons appears to have been carried out as a first, rather than a last, resort and not out of a concern for public health but rather because the animals were deemed inconvenient by players, you appear to be in clear violation of the law," PETA vice president Bruce Friedrich said.

Now, I'm no tennis pro, but I think I'd find intermittent gunfire a little distracting during my serve as well.

Wimbledon Under Fire For Shooting Down Pigeons [Sports By Brooks]

Hey everybody! Wimbledon starts today. Screw the French. And you too, Australia. Along with the U.S. Open, it’s the only tennis tournament that counts. So put on your best tennis whites, cue up those rain delay montages and brace for those awkward Dick Enberg segues. In honor of George Carlin, here are seven (semi-dirty) things to expect this fortnight:

1. Roger Federer will lose. At least that’s what many tennis analysts and closeted fans are predicting, after the Swiss grass-master (39-4 all-time Wimbledon record, 60 straight wins on grass) was spanked by Rafael Nadal in the French Open final and lost in the semis in Australia. Not sure how long Federer’s bout with mono last year can be used as an excuse, but the five-time champ’s clearly not the same player he was, even a year ago. And it’s not just tennis analysts who are down on Federer. It’s other players, like no. 3 Novak Djokovic—he of the pitch-perfect YouTube Federer impersonation—who said this the other day:

"I think he's a little bit shaken with that loss, and mentally he has been struggling in the last couple of months. New names are coming—fresh, talented players who believe more they can win against him—and I am one of them. Suddenly, he is a bit worried."

But maybe Federer’s Nike-arranged friendship with Tiger Woods will inspire him to have the kind of Wimbledon Woods had in Torrey Pines. Or maybe it’ll inspire him to get a hotter girlfriend.

2. Serena Williams will underachieve. She had one of the more miraculous fourth round matches ever during last year’s tournament, saved by a rain delay after her calf cramped up against Daniela Hantuchova, only to come back a few hours later wearing pants—pants!—to oust the slender Slovak. This year, Serena’s been plagued with … well, nothing. She’s just not that into it—as people who’ve watched her practice sessions can attest. But, don’t worry, her erratic, monotone, post-loss press conference won’t disappoint. (She’s so pleasant, isn’t she?)

3. During the women’s final, Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova will get and hot and start rolling around and making out with each other. Play will be suspended. Yuri will, of course, watch intensely. (Bill Simmons will tune in for that.)

4. James Blake will underachieve. It’s no secret that Blake is our favorite tennis player. He might be the fittest player on tour outside of Nadal. His forehand his huge. His talent is tantalizing. But just when we think he’s about to break through (see: Andre Agassi, fifth set tiebreak, 2005 U.S. Open quarterfinal) he always seems to figure out a way to fuck it up. Plus, Blake especially blows at Wimbledon, where he hasn’t gotten past the third round. (To give you an idea of how bad it’s gotten, less than two days after Blake was dispatched last year, he was playing second base for the Francesca’s Deli slow-pitch softball team in South Norwalk, Connecticut. He did go two-for-four.)

5. John McEnroe will use his pulpit in the booth to lobby the All-England Lawn Tennis Club to mandate the use wooden rackets. No more oversized-carbonite-graphite-ultralite bullshit. Old-school, rawhide grip and volleys that could give you splinters. How cool would that be? (What? Not cool? Imagine, for a second, that Major League Baseball began allowing aluminum bats.)

6. Sleepers. A lot of people are picking the unseeded Mario Ancic, the last guy to beat Federer on grass. Of course that was six years ago. We’d rather root for John Isner, a six-foot-nine University of Georgia grad with a monster serve. On the women’s side, um, let’s go with Nicole Vaidisova. She’s 19. She’s German. She’s slumping, apparently. But hey, she’s hot.

7. Doubles. The top-ranked Bryan brothers face a tough test in … oh, who the hell cares.

"[I]think Skip Bayless is the absolute biggest travesty in history. When I get to the point where I'm at that level, I will absolutely destroy him. I will tear him apart....Nobody goes backwards and holds him accountable. That guy has made a living out of being a contrarian, not by being good at what he does. And that's why I would destroy that guy on live television based on my ability to process information quicker and in a wittier way than he could."

That would be an episode of First Take that I think everyone would tolerate for more than 24 seconds.

How Justin Gimelstob = Gilbert Arenas [D.C. Bog]

Harkleroad, currently ranked no. 61 in the world, told the Times UK that the shoot was hard-ass work. "I stay in shape and try to stay fit. I'm just trying to represent a female athlete and her body. That can be sexy, too. It's no big deal," she told the paper.

Female athletes and their bodies should be thrilled to have such a courageous, nubile representative willing to get out there and show the world that those short tennis skirts and tight-fitting tank tops aren't in fact hiding hog-sized hips and a third breast.

Ashley Harkleroad To Pose For Playboy [Times UK]
Athletes And The Dicey Posing For Playboy [The Big Lead]

To promote this new web venture and to encourage more online activity, the site is holding a contest where one lucky cyber-stalker will get to have an actual real live phone conversation with her if they accumulate enough message board points. Second place gets a signed K-Swiss shoe; third place, a signed photo to hang over the toilet seat. Fourth place? You're fired.

Get The Phone; Anna Kournikova Calling [Rizzo Sports]
Win A Call From Anna [Kournikova.com] (via Hot Clicks)

During the semi-final match of the Monte Carlo Masters yesterday between Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic, Djokovic's family disputed a call, whereupon the top ranked player in the world told them to shut their fucking yaps, except he was a little more polite about it. Djokovic later pulled out of the match because he felt dizzy, but really because his family name was besmirched.

This forum seems generally in support of telling these people to cram it with walnuts, which is a level of enmity I was sadly unaware of in tennis. Now if this can only be accomplished with the Manning family.

My favorite part is Almagaro coming over to check him out, sure that Youzhny is faking just to get a rest. Then it suddenly dawns on him, "Dude, you hit yourself in the head with your racket." By the way, Youzhny went on to win; but he was ousted from the tournament yesterday.

Youzhny Vs. Almagaro [Youtube]

Here's another clever take on this.

OK, so maybe our tennis coverage has been lax around here — though we might never love a story more than the Andy Roddick Is Scared Of Enormous Rabbits Story — but tonight, we're going to attend our first ever in-person tennis match. (Actually, we saw an early-round U.S. Open match in Queens one time, but we don't remember it. Lots of booze in Queens.)

Anyway, tonight Pete Sampras is playing Roger Federer at Madison Square Garden, and we'll be there, in the very upper deck. What's better than tennis from the way upper deck? Maybe they'll let Isiah play. Sampras is just old enough, and a big enough name, to play small forward.

The general idea of these matches is fake, but still fascinating; the two best players of the last 30 years, battling it out, pretending age ain't nothin' but a number. We bet Federer takes it easy on him, but that won't make it any less fun. Theoretically.

Making Up For Lost Timeless Matchups [New York Times]

Yep, it looks like an Australian tennis club has banned grunting. And they're willing to kick out a nine-year-old to enforce it.

Lauryn Edwards was told at the weekend that she could no longer play her favourite sport after a complaint by an opposition player. The Mt Carmel Tennis Club, in Sunbury, told Lauryn's stunned parents, Duncan and Ruth, that the grunting had become too much.

Mr Edwards said the club had asked him for an assurance Lauryn would remain silent on the court. "They told me to guarantee she won't grunt or she can't play," he said. "What do they want me to do? Put Band-Aids over her mouth? They made her cry on the court when they told her."

You know what? We bet they would want Band-Aids over her mouth. Australians! What's with you guys today?

There's No Grunting Allowed In Australia [Lion In Oil]

Notch a critical victory in the Davis Cup over Romania? A common American response to winning is to while away hours and hours and perhaps your signing bonus in the strip club. Just ask the G-men.

French tennis players Jo-Wilfred Tsonga and Richard Gasquet, however, they had to go get in on the action last week. Exuberant little assholes. What's worse, they made me write a post tangentially about tennis.

That's for you, Rovell.

Many viewers have expressed their disgust with the comments of analyst Roger Rasheed, but we think the blame rests more with the guy in the production truck who provided the slow motion replay of Serena Williams' buttocks. At a certain point, didn't Rasheed have to say something?

Aussie Open Announcer's Profound Admiration [Sports By Brooks]

Had it happened at Wimbledon, the sight of Tamira Paszek lunging around in a flimsy vest and straining sports bra would have left many venerable members of the All-England Club choking on their strawberries. The 17-year-old Austrian nearly pulled off the shock of the day at the Australian Open but it was more for her choice of tennis attire that she'll live long in the memories of those present. In the baking Australian heat, Paszek revealed a skimpy outift that was almost as stunning as her backhand.

The cleavage is mighty, and almost pulled off the upset on Monday: Third-seed Serbian Jelena Jankovic needed three match points to edge Paszek 2-6, 6-2, 12-10.

Come to think of it, didn't this happen last year as well?

Tennis Star's Plunging Neckline Leaves Little To The Imagination [Daily Mail]
Buy This Woman A Bra [Blogleaves]

"The thing that worries me is that mafia types, like the Russian mafia, could be involved. That's potentially pretty dark and scary," McEnroe told The Daily Telegraph. McEnroe said he believes players are throwing matches because of threats to themselves and their families. "I think that's the side that people aren't really looking at with these match-fixing stories. Someone may have threatened the players, and they are put in a situation. I'm guessing that could happen. That would make more sense to me than top players throwing a match for money."

Scary, if true. And I can just picture McEnroe working with he police on this; chasing suspects through the streets of Moscow while wearing shorts and a headband. Worst Bourne Ultimatum Sequel Ever.

McEnroe Fears That Mafia Has Infiltrated Tennis [MSNBC]

In an interview last month, Gasquet was asked some questions that had absolutely nothing to do with him being gay. Not that it didn't inspired him to defend himself anyway.

Q. Now your matches are finished. Do you still have any plan to go around the city maybe with your uncle or your girlfriend?
RICHARD GASQUET: My uncle? No. My girlfriend, no. I have no girlfriend, so I will try to find one, one Chinese girl. Why not? Why not? I lost 6-1, 6-1. It will be very hard for me tonight. I'm ready to lose, you know.

Q. Who is the girl watching your match with your uncle?
RICHARD GASQUET: Not my girl. I don't know. Not my girl, for sure. No, no, no, I have just friends. Men friends, but I'm not gay.

So, you know, if you're up for a Richard Gasquet denial of gaydom, just walk up to him on the street and say hi. He'll be happy to oblige.

Richard Gasquet, Still Not Gay [OutSports]
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist [Deadspin]

As a member of the tennis team and a stand out in high school, 19-year-old Dejon Bivens of Charlotte is used to having his picture taken, but the mugshot he took over the weekend wasn't voluntary.

Raleigh police charged him with crimes against nature.

Details of the incident were released in a search warrant. There was an off-campus party last Friday at the apartment of one of the tennis team members.

The player told police he went to bed around 3 a.m. Saturday and was awakened two hours later by Bivens performing oral sex on him.

Police arrested and served Bivens with the search warrant that allowed investigators get a saliva sample. He was released on bond that same day.

I'm sure the Raleigh police department treated Dejon with the utmost respect during questioning and procurement of the saliva sample. It's a region well-known for its tolerance about these kind of unfortunate mistakes.

Tennis player charged with sex crime against teammate [ABC]

The U.S. Open drew to its expected, entirely prosaic, drama-free close last night in Flushing. Roger Federer proved yet again he bleeds only carbon, putting a Swiss spanking on his 20-year-old Serbian impersonator, No. 3 Novak Djokovic, 7-6, 7-6, 6-4, saving five first set points and two in the second ("My next book is going to be called, '7 Set Points,'" Djokovic said after the match), to win his fourth consecutive U.S. Open while earning the equivalent of Serbia's gross national product, $2.4 million, in the process.

It wasn't all bad for Djokovic, though; he made plenty of YouTube fans for his locker-room imitations of Andy Roddick, Rafael Nadal and Maria Sharapova, who sat among the crazy Serbs - and Robert Fucking DeNiro? — in his box during the final.

Federer, on court after the match, displayed the cool, take-no-prisoners heartlessness of past tennis champions. "He deserved better than that," Federer said.

On Saturday, No. 1 Justine Henin dismantled Svetlana Kuznetsova 6-1, 6-3 for her second title, a night after knocking out Venus Williams, who, as is apparently the case for any Williams sister, honored Althea Gibson's legacy and claimed partial injury (dizziness) after the 7-6, 6-4 loss. "I'm not sure what's wrong with me," Williams said. Lucky for Henin.

In the U.S. Open men's doubles final, No. 9 seeds Lukas Dlouhy and Pavel Vizner defeated Simon Aspelin and ... oh, who really gives a shit? They won, alright?

And Esther Vergeer of the Netherlands, who hasn't lost a singles match in four years, rolled (sorry) to yet another U.S. Open title in the wheelchair division.

The Open's only true surprise: no rain for two weeks - a dry fortnight that'll last until the next Grand Slam, the Australia Open, in January.

But fear not, Deadspin tennis fans. The Davis Cup is only two weeks away.

Bonus, if gay, video: Djokovic's impersonations in the U.S. Open men's locker room. It's like a tennis snuff film!:

Deep into the second week of the U.S. Open, the tournament has been relatively entertaining at the expense of some of its best eye-candy (luscious seeds gone: Sharapova, Blake, Nadal, Ivanovic — oh no!) and last night delivered the only finals-worthy match left a couple rounds too early: Serial sleeve-tugger Andy Roddick (can someone at Lacoste design Andy something with shorter sleeves, perhaps?) and his 142 m.p.h. serve against Roger Federer, the Andre Agassi to Anna Wintour's Barbara Streisand.

Federer, who, let's face it, moves like a panther, took everything Andy Roddick, the Steve Stifler of men's tennis, had and smoked it. No one, not even Agassi, who joined John McEnroe in the USA booth, had an answer. And like 13 of the 14 previous matches between the two, Fed (as Agassi insisted on calling him) wore Jimmy Connors' prodigy out in straight sets 7-6, 7-6, 6-2 in front of his coach's leathery peers, Boris Becker, Guillermo Vilas, Ilie Nastase, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David.

Unlike other classic Euro-villains, the thing you hate most about Federer is that he's impossible to hate: Softspoken. Self-deprecating. Swiss. The same can't be said for Serena Williams. Check Williams' classy post-match following her 7-6, 6-1 loss to Justine Henin, who, by the way, is the world's No. 1 ranked women's tennis player: "I just think she made a lot of lucky shots and I made a lot of errors." Serena, are you saying you lost the match, rather than Justine won? "Absolutely. I think that's usually the case for me. It's my match to win or lose." As L.A. Times columnist Bill Dwyer, doing his best Dan Rather, put it: "She met the media afterward like a rattlesnake meets a ground squirrel."

So, who's left? On the men's side, tonight it's Carlos Moya, the Pat Cash of his era, against third-ranked Serb Novak Djokovic, who beat Roddick, Nadal and Federer on the way to an ATP tournament win last month in Montreal. That's in Canada, mind you.

Scheduling note: The women's champion's circuit match — Martina Navratilova vs. Jana Novotna - follows Moya-Djokovic, unless that match ends after 10:30PM — it seems no one, including the USA Network, wants to see a broken hip. David Ferrer, who beat Nadal in a match that lasted longer than humanly necessary, faces someone called Juan Ignacio Chela. Federer gets tennis' answer to Pete Rose, Nicolay Davydenko, in the men's semifinal. Bet on Federer. On the women's side, Anna Chakvetadze (excuse you) who hasn't lost a set, takes on Svetlana Kuznetsova in an all-Russian women's semifinal. Not as hot as it sounds.

And Serena's tolerable half Venus — who beat Jelena Jankovic on the Roddick-Roger undercard in a third set tiebreak that saw the Serb perform a number of cringe-inducing splits — faces Henin in the semis. Maybe Henin'll get lucky again.

Wrapping Up The First Week Of The U.S. Open
Kittens or Cougars? A 2007 U.S. Open Preview

The fifth seeded Serbian sexpot succumbed to the rejuvenated Venus Williams in a short-lived yet well played two setter. Venus-seeded twelfth as a result of her inactivity-remains on track to meet up with her bodacious sister in the semi-finals. Whenever Venus and Serena are in good form the quality of tennis seems to rise with them. But still, did it have to be Ana?

Thanks for joining me this weekend, it's been a pleasure (mostly yesterday). Will should be back tomorrow, that guy can't stay away. Enjoy the week leading up to the best weekend of the fall.

Oh, and the Cubs, Cards, and Brewers all won again...if you're into guys.

The young Pole looked assured on serve and always threatened the Sharapova serve as the older player made 11 double faults.

Sharapova saved three break points at 4-2 down but was unable to save a fourth and Radwanska showed a steely nerve as she served out the match.

So I guess the women's field is now even more of a crapshoot. I'm sticking to my guns and picking that foreign sounding chick. She's really good.

The Open is heading into its middle weekend with few, if any, surprises — save for Roger Federer's sartorial choices (all-black, Roger? That's so un-Swiss of you!).

The best match of the tournament thus far happened last night: a three-and-a-half hour five-set-a-thon between James Blake and tireless, pesky Frenchman Fabrice "The Magician" Santoro, ostensibly the David Eckstein of tennis - that is, if Eckstein looked like Emilio Estevez, had a two-handed forehand and flick-returned everything.

Blake eventually dispatched Santoro 6-4, 3-6, 6-2, 4-6, 6-4 — Blake's first five-set win in 10 tries — but not before the 34-year-old Santoro — hobbled and cramping during much of the fifth set — won over the 17,000 at Arthur Ashe Stadium, despite the Connecticut native's inherited home-court advantage and raucous "J-Block" rooting section. (If you need proof New Yorkers like underdogs, look no further than last night: the J-Block couldn't even get a drunk Flushing crowd to chant along to "U.S.A.")

Blake followed another Sharapova snoozer (6-1, 6-0) that took 52 minutes. That's two matches in under two hours, in which she's lost a total of two games — proving once again there's absolutely no need to watch women's tennis until the quarterfinals. At the earliest.

The matches to watch this weekend: Rafael Nadal-Janko Tipsarevic. Sorry ladies. Nursing a pair of knee injuries, Nadal will be lucky to get through any match, let alone set up the Roger-Rafat championship some Agassi-Sampras-pining tennis nerds want. Does this sound like a second-seed to you? "Practicing and last minute of practice, I felt something, don't know in English. I have pain. Maybe if another tournament, don't go to court today. But it's the U.S. Open. You saw the match. I didn't run too much. I tried to run as less as possible and try to win.''

Federer-John Isner. Isner is a 6-foot-9, 22-year-old South Carolinian who, since his graduation from the University of Georgia six weeks ago, has climbed to 192 from 839 in the rankings thanks to a deadly 140 m.p.h. serve. Federer in straight sets.

Anyway, the rest of us can look on with the same bemused attachment we reserve for the rest of tennis. So, after the jump, with a U.S. Open preview is Dylan Stableford, formerly MediaBistro.com. He insisted on the Sharapova photo.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

The 2007 U.S. Open will be the first since 1985 without Andre Agassi. And don't think the USTA and USA Network doesn't know this: last year, Swiss milquetoast champion Roger Federer ripped through the draw to capture his third consecutive U.S. Open title. Yet it was a hobbling, sobbing, 36-year-old bald man from Las Vegas who, despite losing in the third round, captivated Flushing Meadows more than Anna Wintour's occasional boy-toy ever will. (USA will be praying for downpours just so it can show rain-delay staples like Agassi-Sampras '01, Agassi-Blake '05 or Agassi-Baghdadis '07).

Without Agassi's tongue-bitten tears, there are, admittedly, few story lines to follow, and even fewer questions to ponder: Does America care about the Federer-Rafael Nadal (Roger-Rafa) rivalry? Will Maria Sharapova use fingers or a banana to communicate with her coaches' box? Will the Williams sisters show up? Will drunk tennis fans be savvy enough to heckle the Pete Rose of tennis, Nikolay Davydenko, properly? Will Rodionova try that shit in Queens? Will the U.S. Open be anywhere near as compelling as Brooklyn's Wiimbledon? And, of course, the biggest question in tennis in 2007: Will it be a kitten or a cougar?

A rough, rough guide to the next two weeks:

U.S. Men

To illustrate just how bleak the U.S. men's tennis scene has become, look no further than the ATP rankings. Roddick and James Blake are ranked in the top 10 again, but you'll have to travel all the way down to no. 47 to Sam Querrey to see another American.And even Roddick and Blake lack a certain WWF — sorry, WWE — quality of the Agassi-Sampras era. "With Sampras or Connors, there wasn't a court, there was a cage," Luke Jensen, the older Hanson brother of men's tennis analysts, said recently. "The players today are nice guys, but do you really want to get in the cage with them?"

Blake's a great story, though. His recently-released autobiography, Breaking Back, chronicles his comeback from a broken neck, his father's death and the subsequent shingles that paralyzed his face, culminating in the epic 2005 quarterfinal against Agassi. And, with a faithful cheering section annoying opponents at every tour stop - the "J-Block" — he's playing about as well as he was coming into the 2005 Open. Biggest problem for Blake, 28, is the same for the rest of the men's tour: Roger Federer exists.

Djokovic

Forget Blake and Roddick. Novak Djokovic, from the sleepy Serbian ski resort town of Kopaonik, is the one guy who could make things interesting for Federer. At the Rogers Cup in Montreal last month, he beat Roddick in the quarters, Nadal in the semis and Federer in the final, a feat all-but-assuring a letdown here.

The Williams Sisters

The Open has scheduled both Williams sister to play the first night matches at the Open, a nod to Althea Gibson, the first African American woman to play the Open. Expect USA to milk the hell out of this one. (Quick question for USA network producers, and anyone else planning to fawn over this made-for-cable event: Would Althea Gibson have spent 26 hours prepping her hair for the ESPYs?)

Sharapova

All you need to know about glistening defending champion Maria Sharapova can be summed up with the explanation at Saturday's press conference as to why she'll be wearing a red Nike dress — adorned with graphics of New York skyscapes and studded with more than 600 Swarovski crystals — at this year's Open: "I've never worn a red dress before. It's a really big statement because it's the Big Apple and apples are red," said Sharapova, at once evoking both her pin-up predecessor, Anna Kournikova, and a four-year-old. And despite a favorable draw (no Williams sisters, no Justine "Dropped the Hardenne" Henin), a repeat won't be as breezy as those Canon commercials: Sharapova was pummeled by Serena in Australia, spanked on clay in Paris, and rocked by Venus on grass.

Outside of the Williames and Sharapova, the names begin to sound like obscure rashes: Zakopalova, Perebynis, Cibulkova, Kostanic Tosic, Parmentier, Malek, Brianti, Jeong Cho. "Who are these people?" Steve Tignor asked on his Concrete Elbow blog on tennis.com - and that's a paid tennis blogger asking.

Federer-Nadal

It's as close to a McEnroe-Borg rivalry as tennis is going to get - having won 13 of 15 Grand Slams since 2004. Federer has spent 187 consecutive weeks at no. 1, the Beatles to Nadal's Stones (109 consecutive weeks at no. 2). But, like the American men, they're just ... too nice. (After Montreal, Federer flew Nadal in his private jet to Cincinnati when the Spaniard was having trouble getting a flight. How cute.)

Another problem: Federer is just too good, too Swiss, for the drunken Flushing faithful to care. It's getting to the point now in Vegas where you - or, say, Davydenko — take Federer, like his buddy Tiger Woods, over the field. (Even throbbing heterosexuals like Richard Gasquet have no chance.) And that's just not that interesting.

"I really do believe it's difficult for American fans to warm up to it since we have so many other things going on with baseball, basketball, football," Blake told the Associated Press. "But I hope they can because they're both great guys."

Of course they are, James. So are you.

During his afternoon practice, Jan — in academy-provided Nike shoes and clothes — scampers around the court against Mouratoglou. He nearly breaks down laughing when Mouratoglou makes him sprint from corner to corner. Not surprising for a child of kindergarten age, he also is prone to temper tantrums, racket tosses and sulking when he makes mistakes.

Just like Rafael Nadal!

Gripping a racket nearly the length of his body, Jan's fluid strokes and timing belie his age and size. He serves overhand, approaches the net to volley and can put topspin on shots, including his natural one-handed backhand.

I hear that ultrasound technology can now detect one-handed topspin in the womb. If there's paperwork to be filled out, no use wasting precious time waiting for the kid to be born.

Could This 5-Year-Old Be The Future Of Tennis? [USA Today]

Anastasia Rodionova was disqualified during the third set of her afternoon match against Angelique Kerber at the Lindner Family Tennis Center after the Russian fired a shot in frustration in the direction of heckling fans in the stands. The ball hit the support wall in front of the three female fans, who were sitting in the front row.

Tournament referee William Coffey said Rodionova's conduct was inappropriate enough to default her without warning. "It was disrespectful and potentially very dangerous," Coffey said.

It was only the second default in the history of the WTA. The first? When Chris Evert leapt into the stands in Buffalo and stabbed a man in the throat repeatedly, then grabbed his dog and electrocuted it. She's quite the competitor.

Player Disqualified From W&S [Cincinnati Enquirer]

In response to a French magazine implying Gasquet was having an affair with an older man, Gasquet popped off.

"I was absolutely not happy about that. This question has come back hundreds of times, and every time someone turns up saying, 'Oh, I have evidence.' It is just bullshit. Neither him nor me are homosexuals. It's absolutely obvious."

We are not sure that "obvious" is the word we'd use there, but we support Gasquet's campaign toward heterosexuality. We urge Gasquet to get together with Mike Piazza and Sebastien Gacond and form a coalition for the unfairly gay-maligned, in which they can share their collective stories of woe, work to help future athletes, and give each other hand jobs.

Gasquet: I Am Not Gay [OutSports]