Texas Should Declare Independence And Make This Their National Beer

Yesterday, one of my idiot friends told me that certain South Floridians have expressed interest in seceding from the rest of the state. Roughly 11 seconds of exhaustive Googling just now failed to turn up much evidence, but let's say it's true. Makes sense. The government's way up north, and apparently run by a… » 10/24/14 1:14pm Yesterday 1:14pm

High School Football Player's Speech Will Make You Believe You Can Fly

Apollos Hester plays for the East View (Texas) Patriots, and after a 42-41 victory over Vandegrift Friday night, he was pumped as hell for his postgame interview with TWC News Austin. The conversation got deep pretty quickly. You'll feel like you can do anything after listening to Hester. » 9/21/14 4:57pm 9/21/14 4:57pm

This Half-Naked Alamo Golf Club Flag Thief Is Liberty Personified

Word's out from San Antonio that a thief raided the Alamo Golf Club this morning, stole a flag, and escaped the course unscathed. The club says this man, wearing tube socks, orange shoes, and Texas flag running shorts, should be detained. We say fuck that. Let's find this man, and let's harbor him from justice. » 8/07/13 5:39pm 8/07/13 5:39pm

No One Notices The Spurs Because No One Notices San Antonio

Here's a working barstool-grade theory as to why, during its dynastic run to four (perhaps soon five) titles since 1999, America still embraces the San Antonio Spurs with a yawn and a why are you still here? squint. This phenomenon has flustered if not baffled sports cognoscenti for years. But they play pure,… » 6/08/13 4:11pm 6/08/13 4:11pm

Watch The Largest Bridge Explosion In Texas History In Glorious Slow…

Locals gathered along the shores of Lake Marble Falls in Central Texas this weekend to watch the largest explosive bridge demotion in history. As impressive as it was in person, it's doubtful any of them were able to see the implosion in the detail you're about to see in this amazing HD slow-motion footage shot at 300… » 3/18/13 10:57am 3/18/13 10:57am