The Miseducation Of Deion Sanders

Deion Sanders knows better than most that there's power in a nickname. When he was still just a skinny cornerback at Florida State University, he dubbed himself "Prime Time" and birthed an alter ego that would earn him fame, riches, and a place in the pantheon of the 20th century's greatest athletes, not to mention… » 2/12/15 12:55pm 2/12/15 12:55pm

Texas High School Nixes Football Team T-Shirt Featuring Rape Joke

A Texas high school forced its football team to get rid of T-shirts with the slogan, "Shhhhhhh[,] just let it happen," because we all know what the fuck they were implying. » 11/06/14 6:10pm 11/06/14 6:10pm

Cowboys RB Joseph Randle Cracked Jokes In Jail, Asked For A Massage

Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was booked in Frisco County Jail after he allegedly stole cologne and underwear from a Dillard's earlier this month. Watching surveillance footage from the jail, Randle was oddly relaxed about the arrest, making jokes and offering an officer $100 for a massage. » 10/30/14 11:16am 10/30/14 11:16am

Texas Should Declare Independence And Make This Their National Beer

Yesterday, one of my idiot friends told me that certain South Floridians have expressed interest in seceding from the rest of the state. Roughly 11 seconds of exhaustive Googling just now failed to turn up much evidence, but let's say it's true. Makes sense. The government's way up north, and apparently run by a… » 10/24/14 1:14pm 10/24/14 1:14pm

High School Football Player's Speech Will Make You Believe You Can Fly

Apollos Hester plays for the East View (Texas) Patriots, and after a 42-41 victory over Vandegrift Friday night, he was pumped as hell for his postgame interview with TWC News Austin. The conversation got deep pretty quickly. You'll feel like you can do anything after listening to Hester. » 9/21/14 4:57pm 9/21/14 4:57pm

Huge Brawl Breaks Out In Tailgating Area Before Texas Tech-UTEP Game

Video has surfaced of a brawl that went down before Saturday's football game between Texas Tech and UTEP. This is a mother brawl. It's a brawl that spawns other brawls, and several people are knocked out in the process. It's a mess. » 9/08/14 6:07pm 9/08/14 6:07pm

$60 Million High School Football Stadium Deemed Unsafe

Two years ago, the football-mad suburb of Allen, Texas, sank $60 million into a state-of-the-art, 18,000-seat high school football stadium. Now, according to the Dallas Morning News, the stadium will be closed for the upcoming season because it has been deemed structurally unsafe. » 5/20/14 11:13am 5/20/14 11:13am

These Are The Insane Trucks Texans Use To Hunt Birds

"Quail rigs" are exactly what they sound like; vehicles set up specifically for hunting little birds when "hunting" means riding around on a swivel chair strapped to the front bumper of a truck. But seriously, they're pretty damn cool. » 3/25/14 12:40pm 3/25/14 12:40pm

Racist Texans Lose Their Shit Over Muslim Dust Storm

A couple of days ago, a large haboob — the meteorological term of Arabic origin for a sand/dust storm — raced across the panhandle of Texas and provided numerous opportunities for residents to take beautiful pictures of the wall of sand against the blue sky. » 3/14/14 3:43pm 3/14/14 3:43pm

A Letter From Ray Jasper, Who Is About to Be Executed

Texas death row inmate Ray Jasper is scheduled to be put to death on March 19. He has written us a letter that, he acknowledges, "could be my final statement on earth." It is well worth your time. » 3/04/14 4:14pm 3/04/14 4:14pm

High School Basketball Playoff Game Ends In Stupid, Ridiculous Way

A Texas high school girls' regional final ended in controversy Saturday when referees, apparently unable to decide the conditions under which a late foul occurred, ran out of the gym and declared the game over. » 2/25/14 3:40pm 2/25/14 3:40pm

Female Running Back Tackled Multiple Times In Men's Pro Football Game

Jennifer Welter is apparently the first female running back to play in a men's professional football game, and her first rushing attempts came with contact. » 2/17/14 10:40pm 2/17/14 10:40pm

How Much Jesus Can Be Advertised At Your High School Football Game?​

There's a difference between "church" and "a high school football game," even in Texas. For instance, the rules about what can go up on the Jumbotron at a megachurch are different than what can be on the scoreboard at halftime. » 1/29/14 1:44pm 1/29/14 1:44pm

At The 1960 Cotton Bowl, A Syracuse Win And A Nasty Racial Ruckus

In January 1960, an undefeated Syracuse team whipped Texas, 23-14, in the Cotton Bowl. [See rare photos from the game here.] But it wasn't especially pretty, as LIFE magazine reported in its Jan. 11, 1960, issue: » 1/03/14 8:30am 1/03/14 8:30am

No, ESPN Didn't Accidentally Leak Nick Saban As The New Texas Coach

We received this tip about ESPN using an interesting slug for a story about Mack Brown resigning. (The bookmarks bar is blacked out to hide identity.) Did Nick Saban sign a five-year deal to be the new Longhorns coach? Nah. It's fake. » 12/10/13 11:53pm 12/10/13 11:53pm

Which TV Market's Getting Screwed Today? Your Week 12 NFL Viewing Maps

Teacher Slugs Middle Schooler Who Mocked His Favorite Football Team

Texas middle school student Reginald Wells was knocked out with a punch to the face by a teacher last Friday after Wells cracked a joke about the teacher's favorite football team. » 11/14/13 10:52pm 11/14/13 10:52pm

Guns Don't Kill Doves. Texans Kill Doves

In states from Maine to Texas, Oregon to Florida, the end of summer and the beginning of autumn heralds that time of year when family and friends get together for some quality shooting. This is how it's been for generations, and the likelihood of it changing anytime soon is effectively nil. » 9/11/13 2:35pm 9/11/13 2:35pm

The Houston Texans Now Have the Biggest Jumbotron in the NFL

Someone might want to check on Jerry Jones because the Houston Texans are about to take a title the Cowboys have held since 2009. This Sunday, the Texans will unveil the biggest jumbotron in the NFL. » 8/16/13 10:14am 8/16/13 10:14am

This Half-Naked Alamo Golf Club Flag Thief Is Liberty Personified

Word's out from San Antonio that a thief raided the Alamo Golf Club this morning, stole a flag, and escaped the course unscathed. The club says this man, wearing tube socks, orange shoes, and Texas flag running shorts, should be detained. We say fuck that. Let's find this man, and let's harbor him from justice. » 8/07/13 5:39pm 8/07/13 5:39pm