First up at 3:20, we've got a surprising Maryland squad going up against Memphis in Kansas City. As you may remember, Maryland beat Cal in the first round to win the opportunity to run into John Calipari's well-oiled hair team. Considering no one thought Maryland would a) make the tournament and b) win their first round matchup, making a bold prediction seems like a silly proposition here. Memphis had a tough time with their first round opponent Cal State-Northridge, but let's be honest — they were probably all half asleep.

At 3:35, Connecticut takes on Texas A&M in Philadelphia. This one could be more painful than one of those Texas A&M pretend soldiers squeezing his nuts at a football game. Jim Calhoun's back on the sidelines for UConn and Mark Turgeon is still on the sidelines for Texas A&M. I feel bad for people who actually spent money on tickets for today's session in Philly.

Enjoy the games. I'm having some internet hiccups so bear with the light posting.

*A man can dream, folks. A man can dream.

*****

Good afternoon everyone. As you might be able to tell from the headline of this post, I'm here to type quickly about the collegiate basketball contest between BYU and Texas A&M. I am well aware this is the game that is causing you to lament being stuck at work this afternoon. For that I'm sorry. Don't think this live-blog is my attempt to shove that fact in your face.

This is a rematch of last year's first round match up which A&M won by 5. This year, they're the same seeds and pretty much the same teams.

BYU is lead by Upstate New York's pride and joy, Jimmer Fredette. Glens Falls' favorite son is the Cougar's second-leading scorer at 16.2 ppg. I saw Fredette play multiple times towards his high school career, but not nearly as many times as my father and brother did. They followed him around like they were filthy hippies and he was The Grateful Dead.

As for the Aggies - none of their players are from anywhere near my hometown. They've won 6 straight including an upset win over Missouri two weeks ago. BYU is coming off a loss last week to Mountain West superpower, San Diego State. Whoever wins today gets UConn on Saturday.

Let's live-blog!

12:31 - Hello. BYU wins the tip and Jimmer controls. 1 possession, 1 three for BYU. A white kid scored.

12:33 - After two quick - scratch that - three quick baskets for AM, they're up 6-3. AM is going inside successfully early. And now a 3.

12:35 - 9-3 AM. BYU is missing everything early.

12:35 - 11-0 run and we've got our first timeout. And our first Geico ad. Sweet.

12:36 - I keep scrolling up to save the post, but the Save button is at the bottom. Gawker software is so backwards. Also, everyone is wearing slippers.

12:38 - We're back. Jimmer just missed a 3. My ties to the Mormon community are becoming strained.

12:39 - What did I just say? Jimmer with the steal and bucket. I honestly have no idea how his in-traffic finger rolls translated to major college basketball. A&M with another 3. They're up 14-5.

12:40 - Chris Miles scored for BYU and we're headed to another commercial. 14-7 A&M.

Anyone else hate Coke Zero commercials? (Why don't they make the entire plane out of the black box?)

12:42 - Richard Hamilton has been remembered.... back to the game.

12:43 - Another layup for A&M. Another missed 3 from BYU. Another bucket for A&M. They are now 8-8 from the field.

12:45 - Charge on my boy. Followed by him dribbling the ball off his foot. Jumper by A&M. 9-9. Ridiculous start for the Aggies.

12:47 - With 12:56 to go in the half, A&M finally misses. Of course they were fouled. Derrick Roland hits both free throws. 22-7.

12:48 - Jimmer draws the foul and Glens Falls gets its first mention of the day. Knocks down both FT's. BJ Holmes answers. 10-10 for the Aggies.

12:49 - A&M officially misses a shot. Brian Davis collected the board and scored. We head to our third commercial with BYU trailing by 26-8.

12:51 - The Taco Bell commercial with the faux-preggers guy. It's that a metaphor for how you feel after you've eaten TB? A "food baby" as Juno would say.

12:52 - And CBS cut away from the BYU game. Am I supposed to live blog CS North-Memphis? Suss? AJ? Anyone?

12:53 - LSU-Butler is on my other CBS. Does no one at WRGB care that my favorite Mormon is playing?

12:54 - According to the ESPN GameCast, BYU hit 2-three's out of the TV timeout. 26-14, A&M.

12:55 - I am now live-blogging the GameCast. The Aggie's took a TO after the back-to-back's. Apparently, I'm missing commercials. Instead I had to watch an exciting steal and dunk in the Cal State-Memphis game. Where are all the white people?

12:57 - Jonathon Tavernari hit another three. 32-19, A&M. I think I'm going to take this opportunity to grab a beer.

12:58 - I misspelled Bryan Davis' first name earlier. I apologize. He has 12 points and his team leads by 11.

1:00 - They went to a TV TO, says GameCast. A&M is shooting a blistering 14 of 18 from the field. BYU is a bit less accurate.

The fact that CBS cut away from my game is very disappointing.

1:04 - I forgot about the whole "TV on the Internet" thing. Yeah, I am a schmuck.

1:05 - The Cougars are back within 8. I need a bigger monitor.

1:06 - Chris Miles missed a short jumper off the glass. A&M is dominating offensively inside. 34-24. Another offensive foul on BYU. This one was Lee Cummard's second. He looked angry and awkward as he took a seat.

1:08 - BJ Holmes hit a three a few short moments ago for A&M. Put back and foul for Noah Hartsock after a miss by Fredette. 11-point game.

1:09 - I never noticed how much swagger Tony Stewart had until just now.

1:10 - I'm being razzed in the comments and BJ Holmes hit another three. Where's Pete Gaines?

1:13 - Three for BYU. Big block by A&M and Jimmer draws a block. Jimmer missed a free throw? That doesn't sound right.

1:15 - Fredette missed both freebies. I wonder if he was shaken up when he hit the ground. 40-30, A&M.

1:16 - 52.7 seconds to go in the half. Chinemelu Elonu just hit two FT's to put A&M back up 12.

1:18 - And we're headed to the half. Texas A&M 42, BYU 30.

A&M cooled off a bit after a great start, but they're still 17-30. BYU would be getting blown the eff out if it weren't for the fact that they're 6-8 from distance. My illegitimate brother is 1-5 from the field. Not a good start to the tournament by my extended-pretend family.

1:22 - Random non-game related note: Len Bias Cocaine Surplus lives with my (real) brother.

1:23 - This AT&T half-time show features some ugly dudes. And it looks like they're broadcasting from a phone booth. And they randomly cut to commercials while people are talking.

1:25 - For future hecklers - I'm from The Big Lead. I'm oblivious to your criticisms.

1:28 - Elonu has 7 rebounds and 3 blocks at the half. The inside play of A&M might be too much for BYU.

1:29 - If you had told me 5 years ago I would turn out to be a BYU homer, I would have thought you were crazy. Now, here I am touting Mormonism like it's going out of style.

1:34 - Jim Calhoun won't coach in UConn's opening round game due to illness. /Broken news!

1:35 - Not to self: Remember to make "dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb" joke in second half.

1:37 - Memphis better not lose to a 15-seed. They're in at least one of my Final Fours.

1:39 - This is the assassin leading BYU with 9 points at the half. You should all be terrified.

1:40 - The CBS stream went to a commercial as the first half began. Tavernari picked up his 3rd foul while we were gone. He sits and BYU misses another bunny.

1:41 - And we've got our first highlight of the second half. Bryan Davis hit a shot with his back to the basket and the foul. Of course, he had landed by the time he shot, but that's neither here nor there.

Josh Carter with the three. A&M is up 47-32 with just under 18 minutes to go.

1:43 - If BYU wants to win, they are going to need to score more. Lee Cummard drew a foul. He is a beautiful man. He hit both free throws.

1:45 - Chris Miles inside and one! You can tell I'm excited because of the exclamation point. Of course Miles missed the freebie. I put too much pressure on him. Obviously.

1:46 - BYU is within 11. Jimmer drove and drew the foul. He's got such great touch inside. (NTTAWWT) BYU within 9.

1:48 - Two straight buckets (including a three from Josh Carter) and the Aggies are up 14 with less than 14 minutes to go. All BYU has to do is outscore A&M by 1 each minute and they'll tie the game. It's that simple.

1:50 - Cal State and Memphis are tied right now. Conventional wisdom tells me that the 15-2 game shouldn't be closer than the 8-9 game.

1:52 - 52-38, 13:42 on the clock. This game lacks "game pressure." I could have told you that.

1:53 - Buckets on both ends. Nothing spectacular. Just some good Mountain West - Big XII basketball. The way God intended.

1:54 - Awesome tip by Davis. And I just saw that somehow a "Y" got on the end of A&M in the post title. I blame Daulerio.

2 free throws for Jimmer and it's a 56-42 ball game. Make that 58. Bryan Davis is killing them down low.

1:56 - Another missed bunny. Things are looking bleak in the land of Joseph Smith. Jimmer with the tough basket. Followed by a dunk by Derrick Roland on the other end via alley-oop.

1:58 - Cummard is starting to work inside. We're past the 10 minute mark and headed to commercial. A&My leads 60-46. Time is running out.

1:100 2:00 - I thought you could use some Muse this afternoon.

2:01 - Lee Cummard hits two free throws. Two players have apparently changed teams. Yes, that was a race joke.

2:03 - 8:41 to go. BYU trails by 12. A&M is getting every loose ball. BJ Holmes just hit two from the line.

2:04 - Lead to 16 and a time out. Movie I'd like to see made: Harold and Cummard. Another freaking Coke Zero commercial. I can feel myself slimming as I type.

2:08 - OK, it's about time for a BYU run. Right? Not yet. We just came back from commercial, saw a foul (Hartsock will shoot two) and we're back to commercial.

2:09 - Bryan Davis has 18 and 10. He's averaging 10 and 6 on the season. Good for him. I went to high school with a kid named Brian Davis. He loved Beavis and Butthead. Cummard hits one of two. 15 point lead for A&My.

2:10 - Davis to the line. He had an assist on the previous trip. He's wearing one of those tight t-shirts. I wonder if Affliction makes basketball gear?

2:14 - Donald Sloane with the tough layup. Cummard answers with a jumper. Still a 15 point lead... make that 17 on the dunk by Elonu.

2:15 - Jackson Emery flopped and took his 4th. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

2:16 - Jimmer has been completely shut down in the second half after a slow first half. Casa de CRM is gloo
my right now. I better open the blinds before I grab my next beer. BYU is 0-6 from deep this half.

2:17 - Tavernari with his 4th. 72-57 with 4 and a half to go.

2:18 - Jimmer goes to the hoop with no regard for human life. He'll shoot two.

2:19 - Bilas keeps bringing up two missed threes from earlier in the half. No team could come back from such a setback. BYU had it down to 13, but Carter just hit two. Tick tock.

2:21 - Hartsock with the offensive foul. Davis drew the charge. 4:09 left and BYU is now pressing. A&M easily beats the pressure.

2:22 - Very strange Axe commercial with sweat-spraying armpits. Thank you streaming video.

2:24 - Why is part of the West bracket played in Philadelphia? Shouldn't it be played... I don't know... in the West?

2:25 - Bryan Davis to the line. He gets 1-2. He's got a season high of 21. Jimmer with the floater in the paint. 14-point game. Bilas just called Jimmer a gamer. He immediately misses his next shot.

2:26 - 2:36 left in the game. 75-61. *Le sigh* I wonder if Definitely, Maybe is on HBO right now?

2:28 - Sloan at the line. We're just counting down the seconds now. Sloane is one of 5 A&M players with double-figures.

2:29 - Jimmer buries the three. A&M runs down 30 seconds and draws the foul. Sloane back at the line. Hit the first. Missed the second. 13 point game.

2:30 - Jimmer has come alive, but it's way too little, way too late. 77-66 with just over a minute left.

2:31 - A&M runs it down to just under a minute then Sloan took it to the basket where it was goal tended. Ball game. Almost.

2:33 - Shot clock violation by A&M. Davis will finish with 21 and 9. Cummard 17 and 6. Jimmer missed a floater at the buzzer for the exclamation point. That's two years in a row A&M finished BYU's season in an 8-9 match up.

Well, thanks for the memories guys. It's been fun typing through a not-quite-a-blowout. Better luck next year Jimmer.

2) A Player/Pronunciation Guide:

• LEE CUMMARD (cuh–MAHRD) / 16.8 ppg. The former MWC Player of the Year is 6'7" and a mere 190 lbs, making Cummard a poor man's Reggie Miller, and quite possibly Reggie's white doppelganger. Despite his skeleton-ness, Cummard has never missed a game in four years.
• JIMMER FREDETTE (Frah–debt) / 16.2 ppg. Glen Falls, NY's finest, the 6'2" sophomore guard not only allows grown men to call him "Jimmer", he is also twelfth highest on the New York high school boys basketball career scoring list.
• JONATHAN TAVERNARI (tah–ver–NAHR–ee) / 15.9 ppg. The Brazilian import hasn't let this disturbing eye gouge from 2007 stop him from putting up shots with wild abandon.
• CHARLES ABOUO (a–BOO–oh) / 3.0 ppg. Arrived at BYU via the well-worn basketball path of Côte d'Ivoire to Provo, Utah. An artist, cook, and lacrosse aficionado, Abouo is the most surprising player on the team to speak with a Cache Valley accent.

3) The Road Home Despite posting a 59-3 record at home over the past four years, the Cougars haven't been out of the first round of the NCAA Tournament since the 1992-93 team which featured Mark Durrant, the current color commentator for the team's radio broadcast. — Spencer Hall (Salt City Hoops)

TEXAS A&M AGGIES

1) Not the Same Guy Did you know the legendary Bernard King went to Texas A&M? No? That's because he didn't. Well, a guy named Bernard King went there in the early part of this decade, and he was pretty good, but couldn't hold a candle to this guy.

2) Do We Have to Salute the Dog? A&M is famous for its corps of cadets, and their adopted collie mascot, Reveille. The dog might seem like a cute sideline ornament, but she carries real weight in College Station. You see, the Army has officially designated Reveille as a Cadet General, which makes her the highest-ranking member of A&M's corps.

3) Déjà vu, Man. The Aggies' first round opponent is Brigham Young. Which is kind of strange, because their first round opponent last year was ... Brigham Young. In '08, A&M got past the Cougars and narrowly missed upsetting #2 seed UCLA, losing 51-49. If they manage to repeat that feat this season, it will likely be a #1—UConn this time—gunning for them. — Eric Angevine (Storming The Floor)

Join the Deadspin Pants Party Group Pool [ESPN]
Download the Deadspin Bracket [PDF or JPG]

They make very little sense, which is a huge part of their appeal, and the attacks on the opposing schools and their moonshine making abilities are nothing if not inspired. And yes, the teams they've been teasing have made a habit of pounding A&M on the field the last few Saturdays, but that only makes the irony more delicious. Maybe their luck with incest puppet jokes will change this week against Iowa State. After all, they are correct that Ames is very boring.

• AggieReport.com videos [YouTube]
• AggieReport.com [Aggie Report]

BRIGHAM YOUNG COUGARS

1. My Left Foot. BYU lost to UNLV for the second straight year in the Mountain West championship game, but one has to wonder if things would have been different had the Cougars' 6-foot-11 Vuk Ivanovic still been on the roster. Ivanovic, a native of Serbia and Montenegro, broke his foot during practice in January. But one wonders why he just didn't heal himself, being that he's a genetics and biotechnology major. Also, the senior lists his hobbies as Formula 1 Racing, chess, ping-pong and playing the piano; you know, the typical stuff.

2. On Any Given Sunday. As far as the NCAA is concerned, BYU is rather high maintenance. They refuse to let their athletic teams play on Sunday; which would have been a conflict in the NCAA basketball tournament in 2003, had the Cougars reached the Elite Eight. Fortunately, they never made it. Also, the university gets special dispensation from the NCAA due to their athletes' service on LDS missions (typically two years), which do not count against the maximum four years of college eligibility. As a result, BYU players tend to be older than average, and many are already married with families.

3. Black Power! Sophomore guard Jonathan Tavernari got his start playing basketball from his mom, who is a basketball coach in Brazil ... 6-foot-11 sophomore center Chris Miles, who recently returned from an LDS mission, was recruited out of high school by Texas Tech. But for some reason he thought he might be uncomfortable playing for Bobby Knight ... according to his bio, junior guard Lamont Morgan Jr. "is active in the Black Student Union." Who knew? ... senior guard Ben Murdock served his LDS mission in Honolulu, Hawai'i. Who do you have to know to get that gig? — Rick Chandler

TEXAS A&M AGGIES

1. Battle of the Brazos. Texas A&M's rivalry with Baylor is called "The Battle of the Brazos," as the team's campuses sit 90 miles apart, near the Brazos River. The teams have been playing each other since 1914, but no year has been as eventful as this one. The fun started with a five-overtime thriller in College Station, with Baylor emerging with a 116-110 victory. The game wasn't shown on TV, but ESPN Classic later rebroadcast it using footage from A&M's in-arena cameras and
audio from the radio broadcast. In the rematch, Baylor fans ended the game by throwing plastic soda bottles onto the floor after the Aggies' Donald Sloan capped a 71-57 blowout with an off-the-glass dunk dubbed by Aggie fans as "The Baptism."

2. First Half Good, Second Half Not So Much. Few teams have had the rollercoaster season that A&M has. The first half of the season couldn't have gone better, as a 15-1 start took them to the edge of the Top 10. Then came a three-game losing streak and a 7-8 record over final two months. Even within that stretch, the Aggies decided to to things in a big way, including a pair of 27-point losses and a 44-point win.

3. Not Exactly "Win One For The Gipper.". Aggies Coach Mark Turgeon may have gotten an early sense that his team was headed for trouble down the stretch. After two straight losses in January and just prior to the five-overtime bonk to Baylor, Turgeon let it fly: "I know what I'm doing. Have I gotten the most out of my team the last two games? No. But I know no matter what I do, if we win, (former coach Billy) Gillispie's getting the credit, and if we lose, it's my fault. I'm in a no-flippin-win situation this year, and that puts me in a bad mood." The result? Seven more wins from January to March, and losing five of its final seven. — Jeff Beckham

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2. First Half Good, Second Half Not So Much. Few teams have had the rollercoaster season that A&M has. The first half of the season couldn't have gone better, as a 15-1 start took them to the edge of
the Top 10. Then came a three-game losing streak and a 7-8 record over final two months. Even within that stretch, the Aggies decided to to things in a big way, including a pair of 27-point losses and a
44-point win.

3. Not Exactly "Win One For The Gipper.. Aggies Coach Mark Turgeon may have gotten an early sense that his team was headed for trouble down the stretch. After two straight losses in January and just prior to the five-overtime bonk to Baylor, Turgeon let it fly: "I know what I'm doing. Have I gotten the most out of my team the last two games? No. But I know no matter what I do, if we win, (former coach Billy)
Gillispie's getting the credit, and if we lose, it's my fault. I'm in a no-flippin-win situation this year, and that puts me in a bad mood." The result? Seven more wins from January to March, and losing five of
its final seven. — Jeff Beckham

"Joe Paterno's on his death bed! And someone needs to find him a casket!" the unidentified yell leader screamed over a microphone, first to gasps and then thunderous boos from the Penn State fans.

Oops. Now everyone's in an uproar, and the cheerleader in question was sent home. I just saw the video, and honestly, the most offensive part was the long, unfunny story leading up to Paterno quote. What was that? Texas A&M, you have just been downgraded to a Community College.

Meanwhile, over at the PennLive message board, we have this: "On a side note, I'm just curious to how any of the PSU alumni and fans feel about the students at your school that dressed up as massacred VT students for Halloween." — AggieDoctor

Yell Leader: Find Paterno A Casket [The Wizard Of Odds]

This shirt is the hot commodity for Texas Tech fans looking to rattle Texas A&M during their visit to Lubbock this Saturday. The front of the shirt simply says "Vick 'Em," and you're looking at the back of the shirt.

We think this would work better if, you know, it were the Texas A&M Bulldogs, or the Texas A&M Fightin' Puppies. We'll wait for someone playing Georgia to do that one; are there photoshops of someone electrocuting Uga?

Morning Coffee Is Salivating For Aggie Sanctimony [Burnt Orange Nation]

It would be safe to say that Texas A&M fans aren't handling the loss of Billy Gillespie to Kentucky very well.

(expletive deleted) [The 12th ManChild]
From One Billy To Another [Deadspin]

Gillespie is a notorious loner, and though he might have been able to pull that off in Aggie country, we imagine we'll be stalked wherever he goes in Lexington.

And we imagine the coaching search to fill the spot at Texas A&M will have considerably less fanfare. But just in case ... get your flight trackers ready!

Wildcats To Introduce Gillespie [ESPN]
Billy Gillespie In At UK [My Old Kentucky Home]
Somewhere There's A Little Dot That Looks Like Bob Huggins [Deadspin]

MEMPHIS

1. Skeletons From The Closet. The farthest Memphis has ever advanced in the NCAA Tournament was the 1973 championship game, in which UCLA's Bill Walton annihilated the Tigers with 44 points on 21-of-22 shooting. We also seemed to remember Memphis coach John Calipari having some tournament success while coaching at UMass, but we can't find any record of it. Thoughts on that, Marcus Camby? You were playing for Coach Cal back then, weren't you?

2. Mister, If You Don't Shut Up, We're Going To Kick One Hundred Percent Of Your Ass!. The University of Memphis was, until 1994, known as Memphis State. The university made the name change to bring a little gravitas and respect to an institution that had been slagged as "Tiger High." And so when Memphis fans see the continuing disrespect heaped upon their Tigers, well, it makes 'em mad enough to steal Dad's car, trench a few lawns and TP a few trees, is what it does.

3. (Don't) Sweep The Leg. The Bluff City's eyes are on the ankle of Chris Douglas-Roberts, Memphis' leading scorer, who sprained the joint with eight minutes left in the Tigers' Sunday afternoon victory over Nevada. It's unclear how ready CDR will be to play, but earlier this week Calipari compared Douglas-Roberts to fellow (ex-) Tiger Kirk Gibson, who hobbled off the bench to smack a dramatic game-ending homer for Los Angeles in the 1988 World Series. So if the Tigers draw the Oakland A's in the Elite Eight, Memphis should be golden. — Jay Busbee

TEXAS A&M

1. Good Times. The Aggies are in the Sweet Sixteen for the first time since 1980 and the second time ever despite the best efforts of Becca Mann and the Louisville Cardinals. No really, thank you Edgar Sosa for a great game, your two missed free throws and your bonehead, freshman-mistake, missed NBA 3-pointer that would have won the game even though you were only down by one point. A&M better shell out the dough for Billy Clyde Gillispie unless they want to wait another 27 years to make it back this far. They also might want to go ahead and start recruiting Acie Law V, even though he has yet to be conceived (as far as we know anyways).

2. Please Forgive Me, Captain Kirk. Defensive specialist Dominique Kirk had two options coming out of Dallas Bryan Adams High: Texas A&M or Liberty University. What seemed like a reach at the time has turned out to be quite a hit as of late. Kirk scored 16 against Penn and followed it up with a career high 21 against Louisville to push his season average to just over seven points per game. He has shown that he can hit threes, drive to the bucket and, more important, be a fearless leader for the Aggies when it matters most, which makes it at least a little bit easier to stomach next year's departure of Captain Clutch.

3. Beer, Barbeque and Blondes. It is rumored around College Station that coach Billy Gillispie is only interested in things that begin with the letter B. Number one of course is basketball, but the others might surprise you. A known loner, Billy has been seen numerous times at local establishments kicking back a few by himself, though welcoming all fans who stop to say hello. He also frequents a local barbeque joint, again alone, to have a meal and look over scouting reports, which he leaves on the table after reading. Also, according to a popular Aggie message board, he has been seen all over town with the lovely Miss Erin Andrews. We're just going to assume that this is only a rumor to keep our hopes alive. — Mitch Martin

First Three Memphis Tidbits [Deadspin]
First Three Texas A&M Tidbits [Deadspin]

TEXAS A&M AGGIES

1. Billy Gillispie Might Have Been A Good Hire. In their first eight seasons in the Big 12, the Aggies won 25 conference games and lost 103. For you math whizzes out there, that equates to 19.5 percent. In the past three years, they've won 31 conference games (64.6 percent). For a perspective of how far things have come in College Station, just two years ago the Aggies got so excited about making the NIT that they had T-shirts made for the occasion. I can't wait to see this year's NIT shirt design for UConn and Oklahoma State.

2. Acie Law Can Use Both of His Hands. Born righthanded, probable All-American point guard Acie Law learned to use his left hand to dribble and shoot after breaking his right arm three times. I'm sure he didn't teach himself how to do anything else left handed. Nope, no way ... not a 15-year-old high school kid. Speaking of Law, it's actually Law IV as you will see on the back of his jersey. You may ask "why would one include that on their jersey?" Well, Acie has an answer for you. "It's my name. I'm Acie Law the fourth. When I first got to A&M I wanted to put my whole name on there, and that's what it is." Well OK then. I guess that clears it up.

3. Biggy Smalls. Junior forward Joe Jones, whose name is oddly enough pronounced similar to rapper Mike Jones, hails from the mighty metropolis of Normangee, Texas, population 719. In fact, Jones happens to be dubbed the "Pride of Normangee." Strangely enough, before the emergence of Mr. Jones, Normangee was only known for one thing: tractors. So now when Jim Nantz busts out with "Who? Joe Jooooones" during the Final Four, you'll know it all started out with 718 other people and some tractors. Billy Gillispie has Jones beat though. His hometown of Graford, Texas has a population of 578, or 141 fewer than Normangee. Bryan-College Station, population 192,603, must be like NYC to these guys. — Mitch Martin

PENNSYLVANIA QUAKERS

FIVE REASONS TO PICK THE PENN QUAKERS AS YOUR SLEEPER

1. Two-time conference player of the year Ibrahim Jaaber led the Ivy League in steals and assists and was second in scoring to teammate Mark Zoller. Jaaber finishes his Penn career as the all-time Ivy League leader in steals, and is the kind of poised, experienced guard to whom commentators love to point at tournament time. He also has a fantastic name.

2. In last year's tournament, 15 seed Penn led 2 seed Texas at the half before coming up short, 60-52. Widely forecast as a 14 seed this year, the Quakers might face an overachieving 3 seed like Southern Illinois or Washington State - good as they are, not teams that put fear into the hearts of small-college players.

3. Surprising as it may be, Penn has a Final Four pedigree; the Quaker team led by Tony Price beat four higher-seeded teams in a Cinderella run to the 1979 Final Four. The Quakers were defeated by Magic Johnson's Michigan State Spartans, the eventual champions.

4. In one of their best games this season, the Quakers defeated Drexel, a tourney hopeful with a 39 RPI and wins against Syracuse, Villanova, and Creighton.

5. As much as people laugh at the team name, the actual Quakers are kind of awesome. Prominent in the abolition and anti-war movements for centuries, the Religious Society of Friends is a religion that's small in number (approximately 350,000 around the world) but hugely respected by those who value stubborn adherence to a moral code. Ironically for a group that opposes violence, Quakers sure do stick to their guns.

FIVE REASONS NOT TO PICK THE PENN QUAKERS AS YOUR SLEEPER

1. Aside from the Drexel win, Penn hasn't beat anyone: they lost to Syracuse, Villanova, UTEP, Seton Hall, and St. Joe's. Most damningly, they lost to UNC - perhaps the exact caliber of team Penn might meet in round one - by a brutal 102-64 score.

2. William Henry Harrison, Penn alumnus, is quite possibly the lamest US President ever: He developed pneumonia shortly after his two-hour Inaugural Address, delivered in the wind and rain and died 30 days into office.

3. While many praise the Ivy League for being the only conference to award its automatic NCAA tournament bid to the regular-season champion rather than a conference tournament winner, it also means that the Ivy League champ is the only team to make it to March Madness with no experience in a one-and-done tourney.

4. Though they're a popular Cinderella pick in office pools nationwide thanks to their...uh... fundamentally sound basketball, the Ivy League hasn't won a tournament game since 1998, when 5 seed Princeton defeated UNLV.

5. This guy:

— Dan Kois

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2. Acie Law Can Use Both of His Hands. Born righthanded, probable All-American point guard Acie Law learned to use his left hand to dribble and shoot after breaking his right arm three times. I'm sure he didn't teach himself how to do anything else left handed. Nope, no way ... not a 15-year-old high school kid. Speaking of Law, it's actually Law IV as you will see on the back of his jersey. You may ask "why would one include that on their jersey?" Well, Acie has an answer for you. "It's my name. I'm Acie Law the fourth. When I first got to A&M I wanted to put my whole name on there, and that's what it is." Well OK then. I guess that clears it up.

3. Biggy Smalls. Junior forward Joe Jones, whose name is oddly enough pronounced similar to rapper Mike Jones, hails from the mighty metropolis of Normangee, Texas, population 719. In fact, Jones happens to be dubbed the "Pride of Normangee." Strangely enough, before the emergence of Mr. Jones, Normangee was only known for one thing: tractors. So now when Jim Nantz busts out with "Who? Joe Jooooones" during the Final Four, you'll know it all started out with 718 other people and some tractors. Billy Gillispie has Jones beat though. His hometown of Graford, Texas has a population of 578, or 141 fewer than Normangee. Bryan-College Station, population 192,603, must be like NYC to these guys. — Mitch Martin

This video from last night's thrilling Texas A&M-Texas game is awfully shaky and, oh yeah, shot off a television, but it's still worth it, for one of the weirder moments of teammate camaraderie we've seen in a while.

As pointed out by One More Dying Quail, late in the second overtime, Texas freshman Damion Jones James, in an attempt to fire up fellow Longhorn A.J. Abrams, smacks him on the ass exceptionally hard. So hard, in fact, that Abrams juts forward and then turns around, ready to beat the ass of whoever just smacked him.

We understand that the ass slap is a fundamental part of any team's repertoire — though we haven't the foggiest idea why — but this is the first time we've ever seen it nearly slide into the sadomasochistic.

Damion Jones Is One Odd Duck [One More Dying Quail]

Well, maybe a little bit of a secret. Turns out that Gates has been posting on the TexAgs forum as "ranger65" over the last four years, tuning in and piping up on all matters Aggie football. Last night he came out of the message board closet.

Folks, as I just posted on another thread, it is time for true confessions as I prepare to depart Aggieland. Ranger 65 is Dr. Gates ('65 because that is my college class and Ranger because he's buried in my front yard). I have enjoyed reading you all for the past four and a half years — well, at least most of you. You are all hard core Aggies, and I have listened and paid more attention to you than you might imagine. Good luck to all of you in the future. Bob Gates

The administrators of the site did confirm it was Gates, who will no longer be posting on the site, considering, well, he has an unmitigated global disaster to deal with. Fun while it lasted, though!

Dr. Gates Breaks Cover [TexAgs.com]