Texas Tech boosters who have donated their hard-earned oil dollars to their favorite school's athletic department can rest easy knowing that $20 has been put to good use. A bucket of black paint and some used pirate stencils and head coach Mike Leach has himself a new parking spot. It's about time, if you ask me. How they even called themselves a football program before this moment is beyond me.

It's just too bad that Graham Harrell didn't live to see this.

Mike Leach's Parking Spot Gets a Makeover [Wiz of Odds]

* * * * *

Good Morning, Thursday. How about Cobain as Bon Jovi? This one's for Emeritus because his angst amuses me.

Just eight days after Alan Voskuil lit No. 9 Kansas for 35 in a 84-65 win, Texas Tech surprised us all again with the biggest comeback in Big 12 Tournament history. Singletary scored 29 straight points and finished with 43 as the Red Raiders came back from a 21-point deficit to beat A&M 88-83 on Wednesday. Holy crap, that's a Teen Wolf-style scoring display.

Singletary, a sophomore from Humble, Texas (and no relation to the 49ers coach), was averaging 11.1 points per game with a season high of 24.

Singletary simply took over the game. Tech coach Pat Knight compared his performance to a former Indiana teammate, one-time All-American Calbert Cheaney.

"We have been fighting all year," Singletary said. "No matter how many points we were down, we will fight to the very end." He overpowered smaller defenders and took the Aggies' big men outside, hitting three 3-pointers. "My teammates kept giving me the ball, and I just kept going," Singletary said.

Singletary has always been overshadowed by someone, even in high school (Arizona point guard Nic Wise was a teammate at Kingwood High in Texas). That should change now. Meanwhile, this wasn't a fatal blow to A&M's NCAA Tournament hopes, but it is a major flesh wound. Now it'll probably be seeded 10th or lower.

Singletary was a recruiting coup for Bobby Knight two years ago. How did he land him? Well, who could resist a warm, lovable coach wearing a Dan Patrick sweatshirt?

UPDATE: But wait! According to Yahoo Sports, it never happened! (Singletary gets a big, fat Did Not Play in his stats for the A&M game).

Texas Tech, 21 Points Down, Shocks Texas A&M, 88-83 [Dallas Morning News]

It's a tough job, but Pat Knight is certainly doing his part to uphold the family name. Yesterday, his Red Raiders were on the receiving end of an admittedly-terrible call—and a loss to freakin' Nebraska—when Pat went ballistic. He stormed on the court screaming obscenities, quickly earning an ejection. Then as he was being led off court by security, he broke free like a Jerry Springer guest coming back for round two and had to be restrained by his own coaches. Well played, Son.

Say what you will about Bobby Knight and his famous temper, but even he never tried to physically intimidate an official. Well, except for that chair. But at least he was calm about it.

Oh, and it's also good to see Pat carry on the other Knight tradition of sideline casual wear. Were his other sweatpants at the cleaners? [AP, video via ESPNews]

The teams traded touchdowns in the final eight minutes of the first half,with Graham Harrell becoming your NCAA career leader in touchdown passes with 132, hitting Michael Crabtree on a 1-yard slant to put Texas Tech up 21-14 with about eight minutes left. The Rebels answered with Jevan Snead to Gerald Harris, and we're off to the races. Yeehaw.

Holy crap, Harrell just scrambled about 58 yards with time expiring ... problem is, he needed 60. Get out of bounds! Doh! Half over.

Update: This, apparently, is Harrell's mom. Discuss.

Live Blogging The Cotton Bowl [Barking Carnival]
AT&T Cotton Bowl [Main Site]
Cotton Bowl Live Scoring [NBCSports]

Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell was a key part of the Big 12 passing orgy that dominated college football's storylines this season, but he has not been invited to Heisman Trophy presentation ceremony on Saturday. I guess the Downtown Athletic ClubSports Museum of America is worried that they'll run out of chairs.

Obviously, no one expects him to win and the committee has invited as few as three and as many as six finalists in past years. But it seems like he's earned the right to at least get a free trip to New York and pretend-clap while some other jerk wins a stupid trophy that he didn't want anyway. Don't you agree, Mike Leach?

"If Graham is not invited to the Heisman, they ought to quit giving out the award," he said in a statement. "It is a shameless example of politics ruling over performance."

Leach then hocked a loogie into a spittoon and shoved a half-empty bottle of whiskey into his saddlebag before storming off to find a poker game. He was a little upset.

Texas Tech's Graham Harrell misses out on Heisman nod [Dallas Morning News]
Graham Harrell's Absence in New York a Flaw of Heisman System, Not Voters [Bleacher Report]

When asked if he had visited the UFO Museum in Roswell, which is about 170 miles from Lubbock, Leach said:

"Yes, it's awesome, and I recommend it. There's a lot of reading that's very interesting, and some of my family got a little impatient with me. But the reading's very interesting."

Leach also tells about the card trick he used on a recruit, which spooked the young man so badly that he ran out of the office. "It's a trick that Barry Switzer once taught me," said Leach, which of course makes perfect sense.

No. 2 Texas Tech is 10-0, 6-0, but faces a No. 5 Oklahoma team (9-1, 5-1) that leads the FBS with 51.4 points per game. OK, you've forced me to watch.

AP photo by Matt Slocum.

Mike Leach Interview [NBCSports]

* * * * *

Fourth Quarter

11:17 — Also, I don't do this enough (or, well, ever) but we got some pretty solid hits on the bingo sheet, so here's how we did tonight, based on what you and I saw tonight:

11:16 — Graham Harrell's postgame interview with Salters shows great promise for whenever he's finished with puberty. Maybe he can hire Cole Hamels' speech coach, if that doesn't endanger his NCAA eligibility.

11:13 — We're under two minutes and they sneak in Obama's playoff system advocacy.

11:12 — Someone remind me again why we need a college football playoff when we have analysts competing against each other, trying to outslobber one another all over certain one-loss teams.

11:10 — It appears every one-loss team has a marquee win over Ohio State. You keep using that word "marquee." I do not think it means what you think it means.

11:09 — And with that touchdown, the score goes to schfifty five, before the PAT.

20 56

11:06 — Oh, and Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford are Heisman hopefuls. Why don't they just get it over with and rename the trophy "The Best Quarterback On A Top Five Team" or, a name with a bit more marketing sizzle, The Weinkecrouch.

11:05 — Graham Harrell can go back to the sidelines and try to win more Heisman support than John Parker Wilson by launching a Facebook group or whatever the shit the young kids do these days. Taylor Potts will take over for tonight as the new quarterman.

11:02 — Glimmer gone. State punts away after three not-great offensive snaps.

11:00 — Not a touchdown for Texas Tech? I'm ... I'm not sure how to respond. Okie State keeps a glimmer of hope alive deep in their subcockle area with good field position.

10:59 — Lisa Salters REPORTS. It appears that the students are privy to breaking the bleachers, so in the event they bust a part of the stadium, they carry it to the top of the stadium like a drugged out punk rocker, leaving them with ample room to jump around and get down.

10:58 — Tech gets the ball back, and it should be mentioned that, with 7½ minutes left, they haven't punted yet.

10:55 — TTU lineman Brandon Carter cleans up well:

Surf's up, brah.

10:52 — This is just a friendly reminder from Best Buy: HD television can replace your dog. Help control the pet population by getting a flat-screen TV instead.

10:47 — Another touchdown. Which is basically:

20 49

10:44 — Hmm. That took considerably more than five plays. But this is Price Is Right rules, and I beat the ethnic gentleman who doesn't understand our customs and said "1,000" and the probably-a-whore college girl who said "one dollar," so I get to play a pricing game.

10:41 — Let me close my eyes and assume Tech makes first down after first down, reading midfield after about five plays.

10:39 — Is this THE DAGGER I see before me? Darcel McBath picks off Robinson's pass on the 4-yard line.

10:38 — There's the Cowboys' mascot, Pistol Pete. He doesn't look good at basketball at all.

Third Quarter

10:34 — Even though the OK Statesmen are down 22 with a quarter remaining, this AC/DC music just makes you want to rock like Woodstock, so why even leave the house and be social?

10:33 — Herbstreit takes a jab at Colby Whitlock's pink mouthguard. Don't worry, Herbie. For not conforming, he'll get the anal rape hazing that's coming to him.

10:26 — Why, yes, that's Crabtree's third touchdown catch. I didn't even realize you were counting. Musberger jokes about sawing the Heisman in half for Harrell and Crabree. I suppose that means you need to get out a machete, cut a chip in half, and mark that one down too.

20 42

10:21 — In non-barbecue news, Texas Tech is gaining positive yards on passing plays. Crazy, idn'it?

10:20 — Holy mesquite rub. Musberger just recommended a place to eat in Lubbock. Mark that down with, like, three chips.

10:19 — So, if you aren't already sick of that Allstate commercial where the guys dressed up as pathetic tailgating cheerleaders, then get ready to change your mood from "annoyed" to "ENRAGED" as a non-Bob Lobaw law blog condemns the commercial for some highly specific insurance-related reason.

10:16 — State narrows the lead to 14 points after Hunter's touchdown run. Now then, let's again discuss that Sooners/Red Raiders game and how awesome it will be. As soon as Oklahoma State bumbles the PAT snap.

20 35

10:16 — Another fine throw by Zac Robinson. Now, which Disney Channel heartthrob is he again?

10:13 — Look, positive yardage for OK State. A couple of large gains forces Texas Tech to call a timeout and see if they can somehow have their linebackers run curl routes.

10:12 — It's not too early to talk about Texas Tech at Oklahoma in a couple week. Musberger said so. Speaking of football, Dez Bryant scampers for about 30 yards. Kidding! T'was a holding infraction.

10:09 — We're a couple points away from a Spurrierian feat of sportsmanship. Harrell to Crabtree puts the lead to 21 — which also the number of first downs they have so far.

14 35

10:06 — Texas Tech: They just, um, keep getting first downs, don't they.

10:02 — Probably not the decision I'd have done, but Brandon Pettigrew opted to fumble the ball after the catch. Me, I'd rather hold onto it, but Tech scoops up the ball at midfield and will score a touchdown in about three or so minutes.

10:00 — Ooooooooooklahoma State will start with the ball in the second half.

Halftime Entertainment

The reason this is compelling is because they didn't consult George Lucas on the choreography.

Second Quarter

9:39 — The last second Hail Mary worked pretty well. I mean, it made it to the end zone. That counts for something, right? No? It counts for zero points? Oh well. It still was a good throw.

9:34 — After a couple mentions, ABC drops the moving picture evidence of Gundy's postgame rant, asking in the most brazen way for a feature story about him in the newspaper.

9:33 — What great separation by Dez Bryant from his defender, which was almost as impressive as the separation by Dez Bryant's hands from the football. I got a crazy hunch that this is your halftime score.

9:31 — How about another touchdown? Sure, don't mind if I do. Whatever makes ROTC do more push-ups.

14 28

9:30 — There's a quick shot at Craig James's son Adam, a freshman on the Texas Tech team. If James were Lou Holtz, there's no way he could say anything bad about Tech.

9:27 — Wow, that was fast. There's only a minute left in the game, so Tech felt it might be good for someone to use a timeout at this point. ABC has some goddamn commercials to air.

9:26 — Oh, hey, guess what? Yep, another Crabtree first down, this one landing inside the five.

9:24 — Wait just a cotton plant-filming minute. Crabs don't grow on trees! #6 to #5 goes for a first down.

9:23 — Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino never played college football. You could never tell by looking at them. I thought they were both blue chip wide receivers.

9:21 — "Hi, Kelsey Grammer? You want to make another thousand bucks on your Frasier charcater? Okay, take a sip of this strange soft drink. You can spit it back out later. Theenks."

9:19 — Wait. They STILL make episodes of America's Funniest Home Videos? Is there really a need for this anymore? More to the point, how can someone pay attention for 60 minutes of little kids inflicting groin trauma on mildly suspecting uncles when this nation gets bored with that kind of stuff on YouTube after 30 seconds?

9:16 — If the football thing doesn't work out for Keith Toston, he can sell his name to a company that makes s'more ingredients. But for now, his goal line touchdown brings OKSU back in the game.

14 21

9:15 — Oh, I KNOW WHAT THAT IS. Oklahoma State has their own version of Sportscaster Thought Bingo. Man, those guys steal all sorts of ideas. They took Tech's idea for a horsebacked mascot, and now they want to lampoon Musberger and Herbstreit in the format of a geezer game where prizes like coffee makers and wicker furniture can be won.

9:13 — What in the name of all that is complementary? OK State holds up a play board with more clashing colors and letters that would make Warhol blush.

9:11 — Oklahoma State responds with a great drive inside the 10-yard line anchored by a great Kendall Hunter run (he already has 70 yards on eight touches), but his offense isn't nearly as pass happy, so we don't care.

9:07 — Lisa Salters reports on Crabtree's upbringing, and how it was never easy for him ... to decide whether he wanted to be a quarterback, safety, or wide receiver. Hey, we've all been there!

9:03 — Did I forget about the slant pass? They also throw slant passes. It's America's favorite amateur football duo, Harrell to Crabtree. The only problem is that Crabtree doesn't yet have a Dungeons & Dragons racial nickname. I'll stick with Orc until further notice.

7 21

9:00 — I've concluded that big media types have a pedophiliac attraction toward offenses that pass the ball a lot, because they're unconventional and sexy and would look good in a pair of overalls. Think about it. They loved Hawaii's run-and-shoot. They like any mid-major's spread attack. Texas Tech has had a pass-happy offense for a while, and they're eating up the checkdowns and sh___le passes and crossing routes. Here, TTU's series continues to be built on short passes that turn into first downs. They're already inside the 10.

8:58 — An OSU penalty lets Texas Tech get a free shot to ... toss a shovel pass. Not sure why he did that when he could've gone for the sexier and less reliable but more dangerous shuffle pass.

First Quarter

8:55 — Fade to commercial. Nothing goes together better than ACDC and footage of cotton plants.

8:52 — A third down throw to Eric Morris extends the series, and somewhere Legolas is smiling.

8:50 — Punter/goalie Matt Fodge line drives the kick past the returner and it lands inside the 10-yard line for a net punt of 71 yards. So now Tech just gets to put extra yardage on the box score.

8:48 — On a huge 3rd and 8 play (as opposed to inconsequential third down plays, which is every one but this one), the Cowboys must take a timeout. I have nothing else to say on this, except I just saw an OK State player with the last name "Youman." There's a player who never got the impression that coaches forgot his name, but instead just pronounced it incorrectly. His childhood friend Jeff Heythere knows what it's like.

8:46 — Eric Morris, who caught the touchdown, has the nickname "Morris The Elf." You play one MMORPG during film session, and you're marked for life.

8:45 — Guess what. A first-and-goal passing touchdown. I know!

7 14

8:43 — Graham The Cracker keeps the ball in the pocket for a fruitfly's eternity then dumps it underneath to Woods, who finishes off a long 22-yard play with a spin move. I thought spin moves only worked in Madden.

8:41 — Dammit. Now I want to play the original Super Mario Brothers. Would it trouble the Big XII to install a few question blocks in the red zone?

8:40 — While they're reviewing a catch, Texas Tech wins my heart a jillion times over with the marching band rendition of "Super Mario Brothers Level 1-1 Sonata," or whatever in this wondrous earth it's called.

8:37 — All right, football-knowing people. Is it a "shovel pass" or "shuffle pass?" Or is it both? Whatever the correctness, Harrell tosses it to Shannon Woods for a first down. (Maybe it's a Schimmel Pass, in honor of cancer-surviving comedian Robert Schimmel, although this seems only moderately likely.)

8:35 — All these CMA Awards commercials is going to make me hate country music by the end of the night. I mean more so.

8:33 — Oklahoma State quarterback Zac Robinson is from Littleton, Colorado. No, he didn't go to Columbine. But he did have a first down taken away because his linemen felt like cheating. And there they punt.

8:29 — Ha. Musberger talked to a Texas Tech student earlier this week who said in the last two weeks he's gone to zero classes but has gotten great seats at football games. Perhaps he was skipping classes out of some kind of solidarity with the football team.

8:26 — Harrell gets the Reddish Colored Raiders on the board with a fade throw to Edward Britton, and Musberger is unable to parlay that great catch into a compliment about Michael Crabtree. (give him time.)

7 7

8:25 — They might as well just keep throwing screen passes to Batch. It's working considerably better than third down fumbles.

8:24 — Baron Batch is not the name of a local cookie company, he's the guy that ran for 38 yards down the right sideline.

8:23 — Not a great sign. Harrell is struggling to not fall down under his own strength. But he regains his motor skills and valiantly throws a 2-yard out pass.

8:17 — And Hunter completes the quick series with a touchdown. OR WAS IT? They're reviewing to see if he broke the invisible strawberry syrup covered plane of the end zone. And after looking it, yes, he obviously touched it down.

7 0

8:16 — Kendall Hunter runs up the middle for about 25 yards, and Tech is confused by this strange way of moving the ball.

8:15 — No wonder Graham Harrell throws so much. He even has trouble handing the ball off. The Cowboys pounce on the 3rd and 1 fumble and the field position is so ridiculously low, you'd think we're practically GIVING it away!

8:14 — The Techsters start with the ball, and begin with a run. One minute into the game and they've already exhausted their running plays.

8:12 — Lisa Salters interviews Tech coach Mike Leach, noting how laidback he is. That could also just be mild sedatives in the Gatorade.

8:09 — Who is that mysterious Masked Woman riding a horse? Oh, they said it was Ashley Hartzog. Now the supervillians will terrorize her family. Way to be, ABC.

8:07 — Catching highlights of #1 Alabama's overtime win at LSU. With three losses, this puts LSU's national championship hopes from "mild" to "still better than anyone in the Big Ten."

8:04 — Budget cuts have hit ESPN/ABC pretty hard, and the only CD they have (to pimp) is AC/DC's Black Ice. What tough times we live in.

Pre-Game Babble

Texas Tech must be so confident about this game because their fans are more worried about who stole who's mascot idea. Oklahoma State's "Spirit Rider," introduced in the 80s, while Tech's "Masked Rider" was an official mascot in 1954. In the Southern plans of America, only one school is allowed to have the idea of a fun personality riding a lovable horse. Everything else is plagiarism.

So if Texas Tech gets the crazy idea of scoring 50 points, and Oklahoma State also wants to score 50, then Texas Tech will win by default because they thought of it first.

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a bingo card today:

From Gunaxin:

As the game came to a 39-33 close with Texas Tech on top, students stormed the field to celebrate. Let’s look at some of the sexy Texas Tech girls that were probably part of the mayhem.

Tow responds via email:

I grew up in Lubbock, and as much as I'd like to confirm the hotness of Texas tech women, that swim team pic from the blogdome is an obvious photoshop. They haven't had a swim team in years. The other pics beyond the link, are absolutely valid of course. Makes me wish I didn't have to be an egghead and go to Cal....

Indeed, notice how the Texas Tech logos are presented on different sides of the bikini tops; on the sides that just happen to be unobstructed? The logos also all seem to be very, um, flat. A visit to the university's athletic site reveals that Tech has no swim program whatsoever; men's or women's. I doubt they even have a pool.

Now, compare Gunaxin's version of the Texas Tech cheerleaders, with the photo of the 08-09 squad that I found on their web site. What are you trying to pull here, Gunaxin?

Any Texas Tech students or alumni out there who want to weigh in on this? I will not rest until this mystery is solved.

UPDATE: Bikinigate mystery solved. These girls are actually the Tampa Bay Storm cheerleaders, circa 2004. Gunaxin has removed the photo, with this explanation:

We use google just like everyone else. Are you actually suggesting that we should check our sources and all of these images for their validity? We’re not a failing newspaper, we’re a failing blog! It’s the internet, everything is fake. We had no intention to deceive, so we have no problem taking down photos that are falsely representing the hotness of Texas Tech girls. Thanks for the links Deadspin, and in the future we’ll try to make sure all of our girls are 100% natural, although that won’t be as much fun.

Here's the original photo (thanks to Jayson Werth, whom I'm sure only kept it to clear up any potential controversies):

Remember, without eternal vigilance, it could happen at your school!

Texas Tech Athletics
Girls Of Texas Tech [Gunaxin]

We've quoted this before, but it bears repeating. In his book "To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever" - which is about hating Duke - author Will Blythe quotes from a work by 19th-century essayist William Hazlitt called "On The Pleasure Of Hating."

Nature seems made of antipathies. Without something to hate, we should lose the very spring of thought and action. ... Pure good soon grows insipid, wants variety and spirit. Pain is a bittersweet, which never surfeits. Love turns, with a little indulgence, to indifference or disgust: Hatred alone is immortal.

Any growing young sports fan needs someone to hate. The Red Sox have Jeter and A-Rod. Eagles fans have Terrell Owens. North Carolina has Coach K. And we, growing up, had Bob Knight. To us, Bob Knight wasn't just an angry man coaching our rival basketball school; he was the personification of fire-breathing rage, the uncontrollable monster who, some day, we all suspected, would finally flip out, attack a referee and destroy everything he had built.

Yet you still were both in awe of him, and you respected him. For a 10-year-old kid, this red-faced, floor-stomping, snorting wildebeest almost served as a father figure, the nightmare authoritarian figure always waiting for you, if you deigned to screw up. (It didn't help that, when our dad would get mad at us, he'd have the the similar red-faced nostril flare that Knight did. This was not something that would have been wise to mention to our father at the age of 10.) Bob Knight was that little self-flagellating part of you that was ready to pounce if you made a mistake; he was an authoritarian who was constantly in our heads. We can't imagine what it must have been like to actually play for him; we were terrified of him, and we displaced our terror with the more acceptable fan hatred.

In the later stages, at the end of the Texas Tech run, it was actually kind of sad to see Knight so sedate; age finally got to him. That's probably for the best; we're pleased he retired before finally attacking that ref after all.

Bob Knight was one of those grand figures that only sports can give us. In the real world, his antics would never be tolerated; in sports, as long as he won, he could stomp and curse all he wants. College basketball seems a little emptier already without him in it. Also: A little safer.

Oh, and yes: We did finally stand up and ask Coach Knight a question, at a postgame press conference after the Hoosiers had beaten the Illini. We don't remember what we asked, but Knight looked us up and down, paused for a moment and went quiet. Then he exhaled and, calmly, answered the question. We don't know if that made us a real sports journalist or not, but we will say this: We were relieved he was not mad at us. Even as a senior in college, we were terrified of him. We kind of still are. We'll probably miss that.

Over the weekend, Knight didn't return to the floor after halftime of a Texas Tech loss to Centenary, ostensibly because he had the flu. But just before halftime, he had a rather spirited conversation with some Centenary students.

A Centenary student yelled, "Oh (expletive), he's got a gun," as Knight headed to the locker room with his team leading the Gentlemen 35-32.

Knight stopped, walked to the students and calmly explained the Red Raiders were, "Being nice by coming here," and that, "No other team in the (Big 12) conference would travel here."

The real question, though: Did he have a gun, or not?

Bobby Knight Doesn't Take Well To Heckling [The Sporting Blog]

It's compelling stuff, for several reasons.

1. The neighbor's accent is pretty brilliant. He don't want no pellets on his house.
2. Bob Knight actually lectures someone on "cussing" and not being polite.
3. It's odd hearing a legendary coach veering toward whining and petulance; he sounds like a little kid trying to blame something on another little kid.

We suppose it's comforting to know that Knight still has a nice strain of anger in him; we were afraid he was mellowing in his old age. But still: This is not how we like to see our coaching legends, even Bob Knight. It's just more proof: Bob Knight and guns don't mix. The more you know.

Bob Knight Confronted During Hunting Trip [Dallas Morning News]
Do Not Taunt Bob Knight When He Has A Gun [Deadspin]

Apparently, Knight, while "hunting," has come a little too close to some of his fellow humans.

One woman said she was hit in the foot by birdshot fired by the Texas Tech coach while he was hunting. However, Knight came over to the woman and apologized, saying it was an accident - and she believed his claim.

But another man said Knight intentionally shot at him the next day, when he yelled at the coach for hunting too close to his house. Neither day's shots caused any injuries, nor were any charges filed.

You know, honestly ... if you yell at Bob Knight while he's carrying a shotgun, you kind of have to just assume he's gonna shoot at you, right? Use your head, people.

Bobby Knight Accused Of Taking Shots At People While Hunting [Sports By Brooks]

This shirt is the hot commodity for Texas Tech fans looking to rattle Texas A&M during their visit to Lubbock this Saturday. The front of the shirt simply says "Vick 'Em," and you're looking at the back of the shirt.

We think this would work better if, you know, it were the Texas A&M Bulldogs, or the Texas A&M Fightin' Puppies. We'll wait for someone playing Georgia to do that one; are there photoshops of someone electrocuting Uga?

Morning Coffee Is Salivating For Aggie Sanctimony [Burnt Orange Nation]

Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)

We highly doubt Knight and Wuhl made it through all 14 innings; Knight surely napped out by the sixth out. We love the idea of these three guys hanging out after the game, though; we're sure Wuhl had to buy all the drinks, and we're sure La Russa didn't drive.

BOSTON COLLEGE EAGLES

1. Our coach scared "the crap" out of Pitino. Forget the sophomoric jabs against coach Al Skinner. Sure Skinner and 1987 Kentucky Derby winner Alysheba have never been seen in the same place at the same time, and, all right, Skinner has an inexplicable mock turtleneck fetish, but so what? Skinner's a baller. A semi-regular at Rucker Park in Harlem in the '60s and '70s, Skinner recorded the first triple double in UMass history in 1973, two years after someone named Julius Erving left UMass for the ABA. Nicknamed 'Quicksilver,' Skinner was a madman on the court. In an interview last year, Rick Pitino, a UMass teammate, said Skinner "would always scare the crap out of me." Skinner played six seasons of pro ball, including a spot on the 1976 ABA champion New York Nets.

2. What do you do? I'm in construction. Recent seasons have been marred by pot arrests, a counterfeit scam and a player throwing himself out a second story window to flee an assailant who may not have actually existed, but players from BC's 1978-79 season scoff at these so-called scandals. While serving time in federal prison, Henry Hill (later played by Ray Liotta in Goodfellas) hatched a scheme to fix BC basketball games. Hill paid three basketball players about $10,000 each to shave points in games that season. In a Sports Illustrated article Hill claimed that he won between $75,000 to $100,000 in the scam, while his partners made more than $250,000.

3. Pretty Boy Troy. Jared Dudley, the loud-mouthed, cornrowed workhorse forward who was only recruited by three Division 1 schools, is on pace to become BC's sixth-leading scorer. However, he'll still fall about 600 points short of Troy Bell, the most prolific scorer in school history (2,632 points) and the impetus behind the program's recent turnaround. The season before Bell arrived on campus, BC won just six games, the worst record since the 1945-46 season. His sophomore year, Bell led BC to a shocking three-seed in the NCAA tournament. Drafted by the Celtics and traded to the Grizzlies, Bell played in just six NBA games before a recurrent knee injury ruined his career. Unwanted by even the developmental league, Bell now lives in Minnesota and is training as a boxer. He may end up a mere footnote in basketball history, but the dude was absolutely transcendent inside Conte Forum. — Brian Scheid

TEXAS TECH RED RAIDERS

1. Nic Cage Likes Them Out of the East. The "Masked Rider" mascot of Texas Tech began unofficially in 1936 as "The Ghost Rider," as unknown groups of students would circle the field on horses at home football games, then depart the stadium. At the 1954 Gator Bowl, The Masked Rider became the official mascot and the first horse-ridden mascot in major college sports. Tech's other mascot, Raider Red, so developed because of an old Southwestern Conference Law preventing live animal mascots at away games, is played by a student who cannot reveal his identity during the entire duration of his tenure as "Raider Red."

2. Awkward Dinner Conversation. Texas Tech's greatest basketball success came in 1993, when a Sheryl Swoopes-led team captured the NCAA championship. Of course, in October 2005, Swoopes came out publicly. You have to wonder what alumni fundraising dinners might be like in Lubbock with Knight and Swoopes in the same room, given that Knight has proven himself truly understanding of female issues over the years, including throwing vases at secretaries and once commenting, "I say, if you know rape is inevitable, just sit back and enjoy it."

3. Getting Shouts from the Jam Man. The Jam Man (!!), who can be found at http://www.thejamman.com/bio.html, has been involved in the "hip hop scence (sic) almost from the very beginning," and helped bring hip hop into the main stream, according to him. Funny, we had no idea. He shouts out the Texas Tech Men's team on his webpage, specifically Martin Zeno, Jarrius Jackson, Michael Prince and Darryl Dora, only one of whom has been hit in the face by Knight this season (to our knowledge). — Ted Bauer

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2. Awkward Dinner Conversation. Texas Tech's greatest basketball success came in 1993, when a Sheryl Swoopes-led team captured the NCAA championship. Of course, in October 2005, Swoopes came out publicly. You have to wonder what alumni fundraising dinners might be like in Lubbock with Knight and Swoopes in the same room, given that Knight has proven himself truly understanding of female issues over the years, including throwing vases at secretaries and once commenting, "I say, if you know rape is inevitable, just sit back and enjoy it."

3. Getting Shouts from the Jam Man. The Jam Man (!!), who can be found at http://www.thejamman.com/bio.html, has been involved in the "hip hop scence (sic) almost from the very beginning," and helped bring hip hop into the main stream, according to him. Funny, we had no idea. He shouts out the Texas Tech Men's team on his webpage, specifically Martin Zeno, Jarrius Jackson, Michael Prince and Darryl Dora, only one of whom has been hit in the face by Knight this season (to our knowledge). — Ted Bauer

"How'd you like to coach Terrell Owens?" Knight said. "Terrell Owens would have gotten me out of coaching a hell of a lot quicker than he got Parcells out of it."

For the record, we'd not only buy season tickets to Texas Tech basketball home games if Owens played there, we'd also be at every practice. No doubt the resulting carnage would one day be recreated a very special episode of CSI: Lubbock.

Knight Delivers Thoughts On Tuna's Retirement [Daily Torreador, via NBA Fanhouse]
TO Claims He Didn't Rip Parcells, Report Says [MSNBC]

In a classic "Duh" moment, the Arizona State-Texas Tech women's basketball game, played outdoors at Chase Field in late December, was rained out with four minutes left. That picture is a grounds crew putting a tarp on a basketball court, which is just a beautiful image, like watching an April baseball game when it's snowing.

The real question, and we don't have an answer to this yet, is whether or not they initially tried to play through the rain, or if they pulled the tarp out at the first sprinkle. We love the idea of people falling down all over themselves, pulling ankles left and right, before finally someone said, "All right, this probably just isn't a drizzle." Suck it up, people; it's just a little rain.

Arizona State Women Are Getting Wet [The Big Picture]