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10 Ways to Handle Your Wild, Crazy Family This Holiday Season

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Unfortunately for many of us, all of those deep fried turkey faces and iced gravy drums come at a price: having to spend time around that mangy group of creatures you call a family. But don’t fear, you shivering, nude snowflake: we’ve got you covered. Just follow our…

It's Almost Thanksgiving, So Bake A Delicious Pie! 

If your contribution to Thanksgiving dinner is usually a bottle of wine you grabbed on your way over to your aunt’s house, it’s time to step things up a bit. Put your freeloading holiday tradition behind you, and put on your chef’s hat, because today we’re going to teach you about pride and baking a pumpkin pie. Why a…

A Dead Pet Bunny, And More Of Your Grimmest Thanksgiving Disasters

Last year, at my family’s Thanksgiving celebration, I bestowed upon my brother the honor of carving the turkey. He stared at the bird for a solid minute, halfheartedly holding a tine and knife, before dropping the tools and tearing into it with his bare hands. Last week we asked you to tell us your Thanksgiving horror…

How To Eat Your Thanksgiving Leftovers: Three Good-Ass Techniques

The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" These are all very…

Please Submit Your Worst High School Reunion Horror Stories

This holiday week, many of you will spend your hard-earned free time going back home and awkwardly mingling with people you haven't seen since high school, and probably didn't even want to hang out with back then. It will be—if you're lucky—boozy and flirty and catastrophic. You know you've got stories, and we want to…

My Kid’s Insane List Of Reasons To Be Thankful, Annotated

I have an 8-year-old who has something of an overactive imagination, which is a good thing for a child to have, in theory. There are entire 10,000-word think pieces and scientific studies now about how all playgrounds should be replaced with an open field and a giant barrel of sticks so that kids can go construct…