Pat Burrell's Still Got It

Baseball has been a much more boring sport ever since Pat "The Machine" Burrell decided to hang up the spikes. But Burrell hasn't left us completely behind. Now a scout with the Giants, Burrell showed up at yesterday's game to take a few hacks in BP. Wearing slacks and a pair of Vans, the ol' slugger launched one right… » 4/03/14 9:53am 4/03/14 9:53am

Pat Burrell Is Retiring, But "The Machine" Just Might Live On

MLB Trade Rumors had it first, and noted rich guy Jon Heyman confirmed on Twitter: Pat Burrell is retiring. The thumping, lumbering outfielder posted a .253/.361/.472 line in 12 MLB seasons, most of them with the Phillies. He had ranked 25th among active players in home runs. He won two World Series. Not bad at all. A… » 1/30/12 2:05pm 1/30/12 2:05pm

Pat Burrell Is The Machine. Fact.

In a post titled "Pat Burrell Says Hello!," BarStool Sports has seemingly put to rest any questions about the identity of Brian Wilson's special gimp-gear-laden pal, affectionately called The Machine. » 2/10/11 8:30pm 2/10/11 8:30pm

SHOTY Semifinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen Vs. No. 7 The Machine

Our lone upset in the quarterfinals was a big one: The Machine edged out LeBron James, dropping the No. 2 seed. No. 3 Karen F. Owen defied Bodog's odds and sadly took out Dude Being Blown By A Dog. Alas. » 12/02/10 11:00am 12/02/10 11:00am

For Those Of You Who Still Don't Think Pat Burrell Is The Gimp-Costumed …

Here's more proof: The Fightins got their hands on an old photo of Pat The Bat dressed in the gimp outfit seen in Brian Wilson's odd video. The story behind Burrell's get-up is predictably strange. Go read it. [The Fightins] » 10/28/10 12:20pm 10/28/10 12:20pm