Mike Shanahan Says He Doesn't Use Email, Is Probably Full Of Shit

Here's a partial transcript—flagged by DC Sports Bog's Dan Steinberg—of a meeting Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan had with reporters on Monday night: » 7/30/13 11:01am 7/30/13 11:01am

Jerry Buss, Surrounded By Boobs: A Tribute To The Greatest NBA Owner…

Jerry Buss died today. The 80-year-old was arguably the greatest NBA owner in the history of the league. He was also a world-class Playmate aficionado who frequently dated teenage girls and used to host his birthday party at a brothel. To put it in more appropriate obituary terms, the man was "known for his eye for… » 2/18/13 5:35pm 2/18/13 5:35pm

Michael Jordan At 50 Is Citizen Kane Without The Sled

The perfect Michael Jordan profile is some sort of journalistic unicorn by now—what's there to say about a guy about whom too much has been said already?—but Wright Thompson's story for ESPN is the closest we'll get to it. » 2/15/13 4:30pm 2/15/13 4:30pm

Watch Charlie Manuel Read Phillies Players' Tweets Out Loud

I went to the MLB Fan Cave about a year ago. The place bummed me out. Two aspiring actors—actors, in the sense that they'd be good fits to play Turtle in Entourage: the Musical—sat before a lot of TV screens and Pepsi Max ads. Now I think back on it, there was bottomless Pepsi Max. And Bud Light, in those aluminum… » 6/04/12 1:30pm 6/04/12 1:30pm

The NBA.com Boxscore Has The Silliest (And Best) Explanation For Why…

Tim Duncan wasn't hurt tonight. He merely took a day off from the daunting post-lockout grind to rest his bones, and his Spurs beat the Sixers anyway, 93-76. The ESPN.com boxscore says "DNP-REST." The NBA's, pictured above, wasn't so politically correct. "DND-OLD." Poor, poor, old Tim Duncan. He turns 36 in a month. » 3/25/12 10:45pm 3/25/12 10:45pm

Jamie Moyer Will Begin Rehab And Hopes To Pitch In 2012, Despite That…

The Phillies have steamrolled the National League this year, and it seems like they've been doing that a lot lately. But they've done it without their soft-tossing lefty on-field mascot, Jamie Moyer, whose slow, painful, surprising march to 300 wins was undone last year by his ulnar collateral ligament. » 8/29/11 4:00pm 8/29/11 4:00pm

Kerry Collins Will Never Bow To The Sands Of Time

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay on Twitter: "We have agreed to terms with Kerry Collins...more details to come." The details being: Indy is hopelessly fucked should soon-to-be-39-year-old Kerry Collins have to play a snap in that offense. » 8/24/11 12:50pm 8/24/11 12:50pm

Great-Grandmother Banned For Invading Leeds' Soccer Field Just Wanted…

Margaret Musgrove, a 63-year-old great-grandmother from West Yorkshire, has been banned from the Leeds United stadium after running onto the field at Elland Road in May. She is much cooler and possibly drunker than your great-grandmother: » 6/23/11 2:45pm 6/23/11 2:45pm

Jack McKeon Has Had A Very Jack McKeon Couple Of Days

And it was a thing of beauty to watch, for fans who view coaches as interesting or influential as any athlete. Even if they're 80 years old and are baseball's Winston Wolf, just waiting for the call to clean up someone else's mess. » 6/22/11 12:35pm 6/22/11 12:35pm

Old Man Jack McKeon Pulls Reliever In The Middle Of An At-Bat

Randy Choate started the eighth for Florida tonight: He walked Bobby Abreu on six pitches, then went to 2-1 on Alberto Callaspo. That's it, new 80-year-old sheriff in town Jack McKeon decided, and he pulled Choate for Burke Badenhop. » 6/21/11 10:12pm 6/21/11 10:12pm

These Ladies Waited 185 Years To See The Mets Lose

Setting aside the fact that one's in a wheelchair and the team has been around for less than half of the other's life, that's still pretty good willpower. But Rebecca Lazofsky, 102, and daughter Miriam, 85, finally took in their first Mets game yesterday. One hopes they stuck around until the 9th so they could see the… » 6/20/11 4:25pm 6/20/11 4:25pm

104-Year-Old Woman Celebrates Birthday At Tigers Game, Wastes Her Life

Her birthday was actually last month, but that game was naturally rained out. So yesterday Mary Johnson braved the 50-degree temperatures to take in her first Tigers game since 1936. The Tigers lost, of course. » 6/13/11 12:10pm 6/13/11 12:10pm

Joe Paterno Uses Skype, Wonders Why He Can't Get A Dial Tone

Obvious joke: I had no idea you could Skype on the Jitterbug. Actually, you know what, this whole post and comments section is going to be obvious jokes about old people using technology. So let's just say this is probably some sort of recruiting violation, and Paterno thought he was talking to his great-grandchildren… » 6/07/11 8:30pm 6/07/11 8:30pm

Alessandro Del Piero Ups The Stakes On Thomas Müller With A Nice One

Two great goals posted on the same day—how about that! Following Müller's outside of the boot corker, above is old man Del Piero proving that age hast not withered thine legs*. » 9/17/10 11:00am 9/17/10 11:00am