Jose Canseco's Oscar Night Tweets, Illustrated

We've long believed Jose Canseco's Twitter account to have transcended his Earthly realm. (In other words, it's possible somebody else is doing most of the tweeting.) That doesn't mean those tweets aren't still occasionally funny when provided with some context. Here, then, is what Jose Canseco was watching last night …

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Sandra Bullock Should Take Up Weightlifting

Sandra Bullock had some trouble opening the envelope for Best Editing last night, and perhaps she might avoid such embarrassing circumstances in the future if she starts a weightlifting regimen. After all, she's already got the liftface down pat.

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Seth MacFarlane Wasn't The Worst Oscar Host Ever: In Defense Of A Boob

For Seth MacFarlane's critics, Sunday night was supposed to be the moment we finally got to see the guy get his comeuppance. A "billion" viewers around the world, one of the most prestigious gigs in all of entertainment: As Oscar host, this was his chance to justify his swiftly, perhaps inexplicably, rising star. Or, if…

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Your 100 Percent Bile-Filled Oscars Live Blog

It's finally here! Oscar Night! Speeches! Safe wardrobe choices! Four million references to "old Hollywood glamour"! Diet Pepsi commercials! Tap dance montages! THE WHOLE SHEBANG. I can't wait. I hope you've had as much Chardonnay as I've had, because I am feeling BITCHAY.

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The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Oscars

Time to put on our bitchy pants and say shitty things about the Oscars and everyone nominated for the Oscars. Now, according to Entertainment Weekly, this year's Oscars will be "song-and-dance heavy," which is arguably the most terrifying thing I have ever read. The Grammys were two weeks ago. That is the show where…

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The Razzies Are The Worst

Because awards season is so endless and so relentless in its hyperbole—Best This and Greatest That and Sexiest Whatever—you can understand why some folks get sick of all the accolades and decide to flip them on their head. Hence, all those end-of-the-year worst-movie polls, which give critics one last chance to smack…

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