I was surprised to learn "The Superstars" was actually on last night, opposite the All-Star Pregame. (Counterprogramming!) Thanks to the magic of time travel, I have learned that the episode was way more pointless than usual.
Because television officially ran out of ideas six years ago, ABC is bringing back "Superstars," the insane multi-sport athletic competition designed to humiliate your childhood heroes. And guess who is the starring superstar!