Confused by the newest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie? No, probably not. It was pretty dumb, wasn't it? But that doesn't mean you don't still have some questions, and luckily we still have answers. Spoilers ahead!
It's not enough to say that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot is kind of a lousy movie. You want to be able to draw some kind of lesson from its crapness, or at least pick through the debris for some hint of what it could have been. To that end, here are all the ways that TMNT 2014 fails.