That is an actual thing that happened today. No sensational headlines or tricks. Today, Doug Gottlieb had a train of thought the nuts and bolts of which went something like: "Hey, Tony Gonzalez finally won a playoff game. Wonder if it felt better to him than A.C. Green rubbing genitals with his wife for the first time?…

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Crazy Uncle Tony's got a beachfront home, priced to move! These deals won't come around again, so act now! He'll even throw in a brand new Porsche! So do we have ourselves a deal, or what?

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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

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Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]

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It was a little surprising to have Tony Gonzalez still stuck in Kansas City at the end of yesterday's riveting Read…

As we head into the second half of the early games, we have a broken record to report. Chiefs' Tony Gonzalez has broken the NFL's career record for yards receiving by a tight end. The record, previously held by Shannon Sharpe, stood at 10,060 yards before today's game. DeAngelo Williams has 102 rushing yards, 25 yards… Discuss…