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New York, 9:22 PM
Tue Nov 10
15 posts in the last 24 hours
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09:17 PM
09:15 PM
09:15 PM
09:11 PM
I just thought it would be cool to have a story on Deadspin. Sorry Drew.
(57 minutes later)
/hangs self
09:09 PM
08:46 PM
That's really a problem?
08:48 PM
05:30 PM
Yes, a big part of his writing is pop culture mad libs, but the man is still funny and relevant.. #billsimmons
04:44 PM
Confirming that you're OBVIOUSLY a low-brow jerk that I can relate to. #openmailbagtuesday
06:40 PM
03:41 PM
It is possible - my little brother did it. And I can say is...some things you can't unsee. #openmailbagtuesday
02:56 PM
03:20 PM
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02:56 PM
Yes, this is semi-professional jealousy, but I think we all can admit Bill Simmons has led a pretty charmed life. #billsimmons
04:27 PM
My parents covered my private college education, but it wasn't because my family was rich by any stretch. It's because my father made my education his top priority over a big house, a nice car, or anything else. I imagine Simmons's father was the same way.
Of course, like the idiot I am, I didn't fully appreciate Dad's sacrifices until I went to law school, which I had to pay for. My father's birthday is tomorrow and I finally have a firm job... it's time to make amends. #billsimmons
08:11 PM
He was the gifted, only child of a divorce- taking him to a ton of sporting events has "guilt gifts" written all over it.
I have a college degree and (Thank God, seriously) have a steady, albeit soul-crushing job. I make a little under 30k, and am trying to figure out how I can afford grad school, and maybe get married and have a family, and somehow find time to write. Simmons went to grad school then made a living solely as a bartender in one of the most expensive metro areas in the U.S.? Something doesn't add up.
Drew had a great assessment of Simmons, his fandom, and his book a week or two ago in his column.
Again, he has a great life and family, and he gets paid huge money to crack jokes and write about sports and pop culture. This is just me being green-eyed.
I just don't buy the whole "man of the people" thing, like when his wife supposedly walked off from whatever writing she was doing for ESPN.com on The Bachelor/ette because Disney supposedly wouldn't give her season passes to Disneyland.
Bill, please don't insult my intelligence.
Ok, fuck I'm bummed at the moment. Dickjoke, anyone? #billsimmons
02:42 PM
I do this/have this happen to me at least 3 times a year. And it's not so much the size as it is the density. Of course size does play a factor...but if you can manage to squeeze one out that has roughly the same geological makeup as the carbon plate on the asteroid in Armageddon that the second shuttle landed on when it overshot its landing zone, then you stand a pretty good shot.
In a completely related story, you might remember me as the guy who, a couple months ago, said it's not uncommon for him to go 3-5 days without shitting.
[deadspin.com] #openmailbagtuesday
02:45 PM
02:41 PM
Dude, way to prey on a wage slave's increasing sense of self loathing! And way to spell "cause" with only three letters! High fives!
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