Manning admitted to the scandalous crime of writing his name on a wall in the visitors' lockeroom, along with the date and the score of the first game ever played at the stadium. Manning says he was asked to do it by a stadium employee—because who does that otherwise?—but Wade Phillips insists that none of his people would ever do that! No, the only explanation is that Eli is a classy, classy jerk.

"Eli is a classy player, a great player," Phillips said. "I really respect him and his family. I don't think he meant anything by it. But it wasn't a great thing for him to do, obviously.

"Things come back around in this league. I respect the teams we play and the players we play. That's the way I approach games, and I expect our players to do the same."

RESPECT! That was not good, Eli! I mean, it's fine for Brandon Jacobs to say he hates the Cowboys like a sickness, but at least he didn't write it down anywhere. Or for Patrick Crayton to compare the Giants to a rabid dog. (Hey, it was a favorable comparison!) However, we can still get some selective quoting of Cowboy linebacker Bradie James to add some fuel to the fire. This comes from an ESPN story about the Manning autograph:

"We won't forget that," said James, a defensive captain who ranted Wednesday about his dislike of the Giants. "It just makes for a more intense game."

Wow, he hates writing! Except that not exactly how he said it....

"Eli signed the inside of the locker room, the wall," James said. "He put the score. They ruined our first game. We won't forget that. It just makes for a more intense game."

So James actually remembers that the Dallas lost to New York and that might be a valid reason to be upset at them? You know, for being such tough guys, football player are awfully sensitive.

Dallas Cowboys not happy about Eli's signature on wall [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]
Writing is on the Cowboys Stadium wall for New York Giants' Manning [Dallas Morning News]
NY Giants' Brandon Jacobs loves to hate Dallas Cowboys [Dallas Morning News]

The senior quarterback threw two touchdown passes in his final home game, including the game-winner in overtime, and when asked at a post-game press conference if that redeemed his six-turnover debacle from 2008, Hall did not mince words....

A little bit, yeah. I don't like Utah. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their program, I hate their fans, I hate everything. So it felt really good to send those guys home.

They didn't deserve it. It was our turn, and our turn to win. We deserved it. We played as hard as we could tonight. And it felt really good, again, to send them home, to get them out of here, and so it is a game I will always remember."

And then he continued, "I think the whole university, their fans and their organization is classless. They threw beer on my family and stuff last year, and they did a whole bunch of nasty things, and I don't respect them, and they deserved to lose."

Wow. That's like real hate. So that's probably the end of that story, right? Nope. Believe it or not, Utah fans were a little ticked off:

"Max Hall is a jerk. He says he hates Utah. I hate him. I hate BYU. That school is filled with hypocrites." — Steve

"Hall is a whiny b——, just like all Cougars and their fans." — no name

"What a baby Max is. Why is it that BYU players are always the ones saying stupid things. I hate that place. Talk about classless." — Tom.

"MORGAN SCALLEY MADE SIMILAR COMMENTS IN 2004 WITHOUT CRITICISM. YOU NEED TO CALL IT BOTH WAYS." — Mark.

Just to let you know how serious Ute fans are taking this ... they've started anti-Max Facebook groups. No foolin'. So on Sunday, Hall decided to ease the tension a little bit and offered an apology for taking a dump on half his state.

"As a result of what happened to my family last year, this rivalry became personal, and in the heat of the moment yesterday, I made comments toward the entire university that were really directed specifically at those fans in [Rice-Eccles Stadium]. It was not intended to be directed at the entire organization and all of their fans, and I apologize that it came out that way."

First of all, what did he say there about not intending to insult the entire organization?

"I think the whole university and their fans and the organization is classless."

Ok, just checking. But Hall says he was really upset because during the 2008 game at Utah, his family was physically and verbally assaulted, including getting beer dumped on them by unruly fans. So that's why the "rivalry became personal." If ask me, it isn't a rivalry until you take it personally. That's why they're called rivals.

A year ago, Hall got embarrassed on the field and his family was humiliated in the stands. So this time around, he rips the heart out of his opponent and redeems himself. Shouldn't he get to talk all the shit he wants? Like the University of Utah is so kick-ass that no one is allowed to hate it? Ok, maybe when the hate rises to the level of beer throwing and insulting mothers, you've gone a bit too far, but Max Hall should be commended for getting his payback on the field. That's the best kind of revenge there is.

So don't listen to those Mormons, buddy. Hold on to your rage and let it feed your soul. It's healthy for you!

Monson: Mad Max's thunder a blunder [Salt Lake Tribune]
Monson: There's too much hate in BYU-Utah rivalry [Salt Lake Tribune]
Mad Max Will Regret Post Game Blunder [Bleacher Report]
Hall's pain a reflection of self-betrayal [Deseret News]
BYU Cougar quarterback Max Hall apologizes for ripping Utah Utes, fans after victory [ESPN]
[Photo via]

A peak inside the Florida football locker room reveals a glimpse at their giant Beat board, featuring a countdown to their biggest rivalry games, plus any supplemental material that might remind players that they need to win the game. LSU, sadly, has not yet delivered any reason for the the Gator to hate them other than that snazzy logo. Just look at it ... sitting there all smug.

Now, I'm sure that Florida is not only the school to do this, but I promise you will not see another board be more boardy and you will not see another wall more upright than this wall here. Bless.

Just to Confirm That Lane Kiffin Is Providing Bulletin Board Material For Florida [Friends of the Program]

It seems the two had a little radio show war of words a couple weeks ago before their current teams, Tennessee and Jacksonville went at it. When Jones-Drew was asked what he would do if his son grew up and went to USC he replied, "I'd say, son, do you want your dad to go early to his grave? It would be tough to see my son wearing that ugly red and yellow." (Pete Carroll disagrees.)

Asked the same question two days later on the same show, White responded a little more thoughtfully:

“I probably would ground him until he realized that that’s the worst grief you would ever imagine. You know, powder blue. I guess enough said. Their powder blue uniforms and that ugly mustard color.

UCLA [stinks]. It’s the worst school you could ever go to if you were a football player. ... You got to make your choice. If you want to get dominated by your crosstown rival, where they can come on your campus and take your girlfriends and stuff, then you make that decision."

The girlfriend stealing motif is obviously a favorite of his, because he repeated it yesterday on the "Mason and Ireland" show on ESPN radio. It also included some choice words for his friend Maurice.

For the audio disinclined, highlights include:

Does it feel better to beat UCLA or Notre Dame?

Definitely UCLA, because after you beat them you go on campus and take their girlfriend.

Difference between Bruins and Trojans?

"Heart and winning ... If you want to [not] win and go to the Vegas Bowl or Tangerine Bowl, then that's where you go."

Prediction for Saturday?:

70 to 3.

Final thoughts?:

"If Maurice Jones-Drew is listening to this somewhere ... your team sucks."

Ok, then. See you Saturday!

LenDale White, Maurice Jones-Drew in USC-UCLA smackdown [LA Times]
Mason & Ireland [ESPN Radio]

“I don’t even know why he’s even thinking about me,” Jones said. “I mean, maybe he likes other men and sits up and thinks about stuff, so I don’t know.”

But Jones isn't the only one who stooped to manhood insults. Porter went down the same dirt road after Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall unveiled his whole Peezy with the popcorn muscles-routine:

You might wanna watch him,” Porter said. “Making comments about another man[’s] muscles. That’s not really what you wanna be doin’ in the locker room.”

Yes. All homos. Yesterday, one reader emailed us his own piece of trash-talk gossip, accusing Porter of being a hypocrite when it comes to drugs:

[Sic'd]I found Joey Porter's comments about Matt Jones amusing because Peezy loves him some weezy. In the summer of 2005 I was a sophomore at St. Vincent College, the home of the Pittsburgh Steelers training camp. A female friend of mine told us about a time that she smoked a blunt with Porter before they had sex in his Escalade in a parking lot of an old folks home. I believe her story because she is a friend and a reliable, albeit slutty source. (She's not really that hot though, so I guess Peezy doesn't mind the brown bag special.)

Obviously, getting high and pounding some college poon is not the same as getting caught in the act with blow. I also agree with your point that Jones would probably be handled a little more harshly if he was African-American, but I'm not sure that Joey Porter should be the guy pointing out discrepancies in the system.

Well, at least we know he's not gay...

Matt Jones on Porter: "Maybe He Likes Other Men" [Palm Beach Post]

NFL Player: 'Maybe He Likes Men' [Outsports]

He got caught with cocaine and Matt Jones is still playing football. How does he get away with that? And then you fine people $20,000 for making comments to the media about the refs. The guy got caught with cocaine."

The $20,000 is in reference to himself (of course), when Roger Goodell fined Porter that amount last month after he made disparaging remarks about Ed Hochuli's refereeing when the Dolphins played the Houston Texans.

But does Porter have a point here? Jones was suspended for three games after his arrest, but is currently involved in the appeals process which enables him to still play. (He's also the leading receiver on the Jaguars this year. Cocaine:helluva drug.) Is there a double standard in the way the league handled Jones' (white guy) drug charge and the way the league handles the rest of its rule-breakers?

Porter says Jags' Jones shouldn't be playing [AP]

They make very little sense, which is a huge part of their appeal, and the attacks on the opposing schools and their moonshine making abilities are nothing if not inspired. And yes, the teams they've been teasing have made a habit of pounding A&M on the field the last few Saturdays, but that only makes the irony more delicious. Maybe their luck with incest puppet jokes will change this week against Iowa State. After all, they are correct that Ames is very boring.

• AggieReport.com videos [YouTube]
• AggieReport.com [Aggie Report]

The Red Sox are that sneering gunfighter you see in Westerns who you know is destined to draw against John Wayne. Or that glowering boxer who feels no pain who is bound to fight Rocky Balboa. The Red Sox are final-reel villains, and as formidable as they are, it is fitting that they should be the final team standing between the Rays and the World Series.

Shortly after this—and after taking a brief moment to rub Chicago's nose in the dirt one more time—Rays fans are probably thinking to themselves: "Stop it! Do you also enjoy poking hornet nests with sharp sticks?" You've only had two seasons where you didn't finish in last place. Ease into your success a bit, baby. The Red Sox have become such a post-season juggernaut that Dan Shaughnessy is positively bored by them. (Seriously, wake up dude.) The last thing you want to do is give The Nation a reason to think about anything other than writing Manny Ramirez-based limericks. Wear your "everyone forgot about us" badge with pride and stay under the radar for awhile.

What's that? Hand you that can of gasoline, you say? All right ...

So bring on the annoying Coco Crisp. Bring on the dangerous David Ortiz. Bring on the mouthy Jonathan Papelbon and Kevin Youkilis, the escapee from the biker bar. Bring on the entire cast of Bond villains that is the Red Sox.

Perfect.

• "Bring On Boston" [St. Pete Times]
• Red Sox roar into AL title series [Boston Globe]

The idea that a college football coach might use foul language in front of his own players is shocking, of course, but fortunately folks in the region don't take this football thing too seriously, so you probably won't hear much discussion about it down there for the next three-and-a-half days or so. We're sure that Georgia fans will appreciate the good-natured ribbing for what it is and will welcome that nice Mr. Saban and his kids with lemonade and oatmeal cookies—and not over-sized cardboard tombstones and horrifying death masks. And certainly no swearin'

Listen very, very carefully at about the 1:00 mark and you can make your very own bulletin board to pin it on:

• Alabama Coach Says Georgia Bulldogs Are Going to a MF'ing Funeral Saturday Night [The Sporting Blog]