I'm about to go vote, and I haven't read up much on the issues. I don't know which candidate loves America more or who has the bigger penis. So I asked the only objective sources I could find: computers. In case you're still on the fence, I've copied their advice below.

Last night, Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State assistant coach accused of raping boys, gave his first interview on the matter to Bob Costas. It didn't go so well. (Video is above, in case you missed it.) Deadspin correspondent Ben wanted to see if the iPhone's personal-assistant application, Siri, fared any…