This is a special Jezspin guest post by Gawker’s Hamilton Nolan.
Hello, Donald Trump supporters. Donald Trump believes that you are very fucking dumb. And you are proving him correct.
The funniest thing about Mr. Robot, USA’s deeply unfunny and usually badass new sullen-hacker dystopian drama, is all the passwords, and how easy it is for a sullen hacker to crack them. Your hero is Elliot Alderson, who has crippling social anxiety and a black hoodie permanently grafted to his body and the uncanny…
Right now I couldn’t care less if this was some pointless post-season friendly (and it really wasn’t, both on the USMNT’s end, who want to prove themselves against the world’s best, and for the Netherlands, who wanted to use this as a warmup for next week’s crucial Euro 2016 qualifier), and sure, the home team did…
An old man sitting on the wall outside the MGM Grand yesterday and smoking a cigarette regarded the protesters streaming by dubiously. “Hey, they say don’t hit women,” he said out loud to no one. “A woman hit me, I’m hittin her back!”
“It’s Jamie Foxx!” The young man standing outside the MGM’s KA Theatre grabbed his girlfriend’s arm. “There! Walking this way!”
“You here for the fight?” said my cab driver, who looked like a less successful Guy Fieri. “I used to work for referee Jay Nady, the highest grossing boxing referee of all time.” He gestured out the window at a stoplight. “See that cab? That’s Jay Nady’s cab company right there. The ones with the ‘A.’ The ‘A’ is for…
Lots of cities have songs about them. Well, now Jacksonville does too, and it's fucking awesome.
YOGURT DIP SCANDAL? Here are the bare facts:
If you're from Philadelphia, your preferred non-Yuengling beverage is wooder. If you're from New York City, your greatest enemies are the bridge-and-tunnel crowd from Lawng Island. If you're from Los Angeles, you respond to people who hop on the 405 at rush hour with a pained "Whyy-ee?"
Ta-Nehisi Coates made the case that America owes reparations to its black community. But he purposely left out the details of what a reparations program might look like. We will now make a proposal, for your consideration.
James Harden and defense still aren't so hot on each other. In today's FIBA final against Serbia, Harden just drifted away from Nikola Kalinic, the player he was supposed to defend. Or maybe Harden was covering an invisible sixth player! Yeah, maybe.
Before this devolves into the inevitable flamewar (and it will; it's got Keith Olbermann, and it's about soccer in America, so it's going to be bad), take note of the pains Olbermann goes to to insist that he doesn't have a horse in this race. "I don't care," he says, "whether or not soccer succeeds or fails in this…
And that's how it ends, after a high-scoring, vein-popping extra time that provided the variety of heartbreak we never would have expected over the first 90: the sense that they could have done it. But that's the World Cup—could've-should'ves may provide moral victories, but they don't keep you warm for four years.
Jozy Altidore, while cleared to play, will not start. In a shock, neither will Kyle Beckerman—and it's a coach's decision. The USMNT starting XI:
This group of U.S. fans weren't aware of the hammer of disappointment that was about to be dropped on their heads. Right in the middle of their "I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN" chant, Varela's equalizer ties the game, and ruins everything. It's so painful.
On Sunday, the United States will take the field against Portugal in Manaus, where, despite a dramatic victory over Ghana and Portugal's feeble showing against Germany, the Yanks will find themselves as slight underdogs.
No factoid highlights the improbability of John Brooks scoring the game-winner for the United States quite like this one: Until he came on as an injury sub at the half, he was still technically eligible to play for Germany.
The U.S. will once again ostensibly be in a 4-4-2 against Ghana. Here are the starters: