Eureka For Europa! Why To Bother With Soccer's Other Club Tournament

This Cristiano Ronaldo Ballon D'Or Campaign Is Getting Really Gross

UEFA president Michel Platini made a pretty reasonable comment in Madrid earlier this week, saying in his opinion the Ballon d'Or should go to a German player after the country's success in the World Cup. The statement set off the Real Madrid spin machine though, and the team took matters into their own hands. » 11/28/14 11:16am 11/28/14 11:16am

Champions League Seeding Just Got A Whole Lot Better

Today, UEFA announced changes to the Champions League seeding system. It's smarter, more streamlined, and really, the way it should've been from the start. » 10/09/14 12:07pm 10/09/14 12:07pm

UEFA Emergency Panel: Russian And Ukrainian Teams Can't Play Each Other

Part of the job of being a governing body for international competition is dealing with the occasional geopolitical nightmare, and deciding how to keep teams from two countries essentially at war from turning a game into a battle. UEFA is nipping that shit in the bud right now, before tomorrow's Champions League draw… » 7/17/14 4:11pm 7/17/14 4:11pm

The Portugal-Sweden World Cup Playoff Will Be A Beautiful Tragedy

Two-legged playoffs to decide the final spots for the 2014 World Cup are being played this week and next. We've already seen Uruguay and Mexico more or less punch their tickets with mollywhoppings of, respectively, Jordan and New Zealand. Friday's European playoff matchups will undoubtedly be much more dramatic. » 11/14/13 4:40pm 11/14/13 4:40pm

Will Smith And Son Star In Summer Blockbuster "Horrible At Soccer"

Will Smith and his son are starring in the sequel to Independence Day, where planet Earth must be repopulated by a new race of classic-coming-of-age-via-karate-film-ruining children and innoffensive hip-hop artists. It has generated a lot of early buzz from The Academy. » 5/26/13 5:00pm 5/26/13 5:00pm

UEFA Got A New Member Today

Gibraltar, a British territory on the southern tip of Spain, was accepted as a full member of UEFA at today's meetings of European soccer's governing body. It's the culmination of a 16-year push for international recognition, a quest fiercely opposed by Spain at every turn. » 5/24/13 2:38pm 5/24/13 2:38pm

Turkish Soccer Fans, Banned From Stadium, Manage To Launch Flares Onto…

Istanbul club Fenerbahçe's Europa League match last Thursday was a sight to behold. The game was played in an empty stadium as punishment for a December match in which fans hurled fireworks onto the pitch, so the team set up a large viewing screen outside. Fans launched dozens of flares attached to small parachutes… » 2/27/13 5:25pm 2/27/13 5:25pm

Liverpool Could Score Only Once Against A Goalkeeper Trying To Give Up…

When Europol announced it had found evidence of 680 matches that might have been fixed by gamblers, investigators teased us with the good stuff. Champions League ties were among the questionable matches, including at least one in England. It took about a day for it to come out, and while the English team is wholly… » 2/05/13 6:05pm 2/05/13 6:05pm

Investigation Finds Hundreds Of Fixed Soccer Matches, Including World…

The day after the Super Bowl, you might have an annoying European friend or co-worker tell you he's unimpressed. He'll say how football is filled with commercials and downtime and Beyonce instead of game action, how the third-quarter brownout is an embarrassment to American infrastructure, how it's ludicrous that a… » 2/04/13 9:41am 2/04/13 9:41am

Sorry, Mario Balotelli Didn't Really Make This German Fan Cry: How TV…

In the 36th minute of the Euro 2012 semifinal, Mario Balotelli scored his second goal, a screamer to the top right corner. Balotelli ripped off his jersey and flexed, and the telecast cut to a woman in the stands, a German flag painted on her cheek, a single tear leaking from her eye. » 7/03/12 3:45pm 7/03/12 3:45pm

To UEFA, Wrong Underwear Far Worse Than Fan Racism

Know this: UEFA is very protective of its sponsors. (Here are the Euro 2012 sponsors, soulless corporations all, and you should avoid their products for the remainder of the tournament. Except possibly Ukrsotsbank PJSC.) Paddy Power, the Irish bookmaker, is just as corporate and just as interested in getting your… » 6/18/12 3:25pm 6/18/12 3:25pm

From Ukraine With Love: 24 Racism-Free Hours At Euro 2012

KIEV & KHARKIV, Ukraine—The fast train from Kiev to Kharkiv takes four hours. I know this, although I am not on it. I want to be on it, but tickets are gone, sold weeks ago to assorted Germans and other more prepared fans traveling from the Ukrainian capital to the industrial city that lies 300 miles due east. They… » 6/14/12 2:55pm 6/14/12 2:55pm

Just Try To Ignore Those Racist Chants At Euro 2012

The theme of the European Championship, which begins tomorrow, is racism. (To be fair to Poland and the Ukraine, the themes of international soccer over the last five years have been racism and goal-line technology. UEFA has made roughly the same progress on the two.) The BBC kicked it off with their sensationalist … » 6/07/12 11:10am 6/07/12 11:10am

Manchester City Files Complaint Alleging Porto Fans Racially Abused…

Manchester City is asking UEFA to punish Portuguese team Porto for alleged racial abuse directed at Mario Balotelli during Man City's 2-1 Europa League win Thursday. » 2/20/12 3:00pm 2/20/12 3:00pm

Ukrainian Women's Rights Activists Protest Legalizing Prostitution By…

Makes sense to everyone, right? The group, Femen ("Femen has established an international reputation for staging semi-naked protests in Ukraine and abroad."), held the naked demonstration outside Kiev's Olympic Stadium. They claim that UEFA is attempting to legalize prostitution during the 2012 European Championship. » 12/03/11 5:00pm 12/03/11 5:00pm

This Is One Of Those Soccer-Fan Celebrations Best Seen In Slow Motion

This video comes from yesterday's UEFA Champions League match between Chelsea and Valencia. Specifically, it's in the 87th minute after Valencia's Roberto Soldado scored on a penalty kick after Chelsea's Salomon Kalou went "up with his arm to dink it away from a Valencia head. What idiocy. What needless idiocy." » 9/29/11 10:45pm 9/29/11 10:45pm

Jozy Altidore Scored A Nice Goal In His UEFA Europa League Match Today

UEFA's version of the NIT hoops tournament commenced today with 24 Europa League matches. Proud American striker Jozy Altidore provided the first of four goals that AZ Alkmaar would put up on Malmö FF. » 9/15/11 10:00pm 9/15/11 10:00pm

Both Barcelona And Real Madrid Managed To Embarrass Real Madrid During,…

FC Barcelona's Lionel Messi, unarguably the best soccer player on the face of the Earth, scored two goals within 11 minutes during Wednesday's first-leg UEFA Champions League semifinal match against Real Madrid. » 4/27/11 11:00pm 4/27/11 11:00pm

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory

Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government. » 4/14/11 9:30am 4/14/11 9:30am