Which Is The Best Nose-Picking Finger?

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering free coffee, Robin Williams, fake vaginas, and more. » 8/19/14 3:03pm 8/19/14 3:03pm

What If Baseball's Unwritten Rules Applied To Real Life?

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Drew Magary is on summer vacation with his family, because he's basically John Candy. My name is A.J. Daulerio, substitute funbaggot. Today we're offering pithy, sometimes thoughtful responses about life's rich… » 7/29/14 2:49pm 7/29/14 2:49pm

A Major League Pitcher's Guide To Baseball's Bullshit Unwritten Rules

I was feet-up in my basement playing PlayStation when I heard about Tim Kurkjian's piece over at ESPN on "The Unwritten Canon, Revealed," claiming to be an all-access pass to baseball's exhaustive list of unwritten rules. Finally, I think to myself, someone figured it all out. And who better than Kurkjian, one of the… » 6/03/14 2:43pm 6/03/14 2:43pm

Cardinals Complain About Dodgers' "Mickey Mouse" Celebrations

With the Diamondbacks and Braves gone golfing, who will make sure the game is played the right way? Worry not, the Cardinals are here to bitch about a pair of Dodger celebrations. » 10/15/13 10:18am 10/15/13 10:18am

WBC Brawl Caused By Written Rule That Flies In The Face of Baseball's…

Baseball, am I right? The cause of yesterday's brawl between Mexico and Canada is being laid at the feet of the tournament's tie-breaking procedure, specifically run differential. Because of the rules, as Canada manager Ernie Whitt said, the game is always played as though it's 0-0. So when Canada was bunting with a… » 3/10/13 11:05am 3/10/13 11:05am

The 11th Pick In The MLB Player Draft Is Cursed, According To Science

In a perfect world, the first person selected in the Major League Baseball First-Year Player Draft every year would be the best performing player from that crop. The second player would perform slightly below that, and so on and so forth. Of course, it doesn't work that way. For every Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex… » 6/01/12 9:30am 6/01/12 9:30am

Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And…

Much has been made of young Bryce Harper's first few days in the majors. He has a cannon for an arm. He gets on base. He makes good with the locals. He steals home. And now he's caused the Phillies' Cole Hamels to pull off what Nationals GM Mike Rizzo considers the most "classless, gutless chickenshit act" in his 30… » 5/07/12 2:50pm 5/07/12 2:50pm

Baseball's Unwritten Rules, Uncovered After 26 Years

A few weeks ago, I found myself in Austin and happened upon one of these flea market-type warehouses. It's like a ginormous, impersonal yard sale: People come with their stuff, set it up in their little station, put a price tag on everything, and hope it eventually sells. As it turns out, one of these dealers had an… » 4/12/12 11:40pm 4/12/12 11:40pm

Tony La Russa's Tortured, Petulant Justification For Plunking Ryan…

You can watch Tony La Russa try and fail to justify himself — he cycles through logical fallacies as if they were middle relievers in a 5-4 ballgame against the Reds — or you can watch young Mack Scocca-Ho capture the essence of La Russa's monologue in the video above. » 8/04/11 12:40pm 8/04/11 12:40pm

40-Year-Old Video Exonerates A-Rod In Dumb Mound-Crossing Controversy

This is a screengrab from the 1971 World Series. And will you look at that? A batter runs across the mound, and somehow the world doesn't launch into a spasm of cock-waggling outrage over a breach of baseball's supposedly inviolable unwritten rules. » 5/22/10 4:30pm 5/22/10 4:30pm

Dallas Braden's Dumb Feud With A-Rod Manages To Get Dumber

The A's lefthander took exception a few weeks ago when A-Rod ran across the mound, a violation of one of a thousand unwritten rules in baseball that remain unwritten for the simple reason that they're stupid. And we're still talking about it. » 5/07/10 6:38pm 5/07/10 6:38pm

Enough, Already, With The "Unwritten Rules" Of Baseball

Goose Gossage says you can't show joy when you do something positive. You can't bunt to end a no-hitter. If their guy throws even close to your guy, you have to throw closer to his guy. In the fourth inning, everyone has to do an Indonesian Dance Of Skulls before tapping his left ear twice. These "unwritten rules" of… » 5/14/08 5:30pm 5/14/08 5:30pm