While the NBA is off celebrating its All-Star Weekend, which CNN calls "Black Thanksgiving," the NHL and USA Hockey are collaborating on their own star-studded weekend tribute to their game. And by stars, they mean Eddie Cahill, Ken Baker, and Ashlan Gorse. And by tribute, they mean, uh, something? Look at that website…

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

To be clear: this would be no miracle. But let's not forget the NHL booked the American players' flights back to their teams for this morning, because they weren't supposed to be here. Discuss North American supremacy in the comments.