Scenes From The USWNT's Victory Parade

Earlier today, the world champion U.S. women’s national soccer team was fêted with a ticker-tape parade up Broadway and presented with the keys to the city in a ceremony at City Hall. It was the 206th parade up the “Canyon of Heroes” in New York’s history (full list here), and the crowd might’ve skewed younger and… »7/10/15 3:27pm7/10/15 3:27pm

A Different Kind Of Party At The Women's World Cup

In May I was at a bar in Portland, Ore., with two of my brothers, watching the U.S. women’s national soccer team play the first of a series of pre-World Cup tune-ups. At first, we were the only people there—it was Mother’s Day, around brunchtime. A little after halftime, an older couple sat down at the other end of… »7/09/15 3:48pm7/09/15 3:48pm

MLS Will Ride The USWNT's Coattails By Having Floats In Victory Parade

If the TV ratings for the USWNT’s obliteration of Japan in the 2015 Women’s World Cup final—it was the most-watched soccer game in U.S. history—stood for anything, it’s that Americans will support the sporting greatness of our own unreservedly. Unfortunately, the vultures in charge of the inferior soccer product MLS… »7/09/15 2:49pm7/09/15 2:49pm

For 16 Minutes, Carli Lloyd Was The Greatest Player Of All Time

From the start, it felt like the fate of the United States women’s national team hinged not on talent or tactics or even luck, but on the answers to a series of open questions. Can Alex Morgan get healthy in time to contribute? What do we do with Christen Press and Sydney Leroux? What happens when we pretend a… »7/06/15 12:27pm7/06/15 12:27pm

USWNT Shock Japan With Four Goals In Sixteen Minutes, Win World Cup

Soccer matches are 90 minutes long, and most of the time the ball is nowhere near a goal and 18 of the 22 players on the pitch are walking. But there are stretches—two minutes here, two seconds there—in which the players do unimaginable things with the ball and work with their teammates in a way that suggests they… »7/05/15 11:03pm7/05/15 11:03pm

Listen To All Five U.S. Goals As Called By Telemundo's Andrés Cantor

While Fox’s J.P. Dellacamera did an adequate job calling today’s Women’s World Cup final, an even more legendary soccer broadcaster called the match elsewhere on U.S. television: Andrés ¡GOOOOOL! Cantor, on Telemundo. Since you were probably watching on Fox, we’ve compiled all five U.S. goals as aired on the new home… »7/05/15 10:33pm7/05/15 10:33pm

How The USWNT Finally Figured It Out

After toiling in mediocrity for the whole tournament, with players playing out of position, no organizational structure, and no defined individual roles, the USWNT finally came out last night looking like the World Cup favorites we all thought they’d be. Because of that, we’re left with one question: the hell took so… »7/01/15 12:59pm7/01/15 12:59pm

An Ode to Sydney Leroux's Eyelashes

Everywhere I go, people are talking trash about Sydney Leroux’s fake eyelashes. To be fair, I’ve been in Canada, where she’s particularly reviled. I get it, she turned her back on you, Canada. You’re hurt. But through the pain, I beg you, do not bring her eyelashes into this. Because let’s be real: those eyelashes are… »6/30/15 4:47pm6/30/15 4:47pm

Abby Wambach Wonders If The Ref Was Out To Get The USWNT

Midfielders Lauren Holiday and Megan Rapinoe racked up yellow cards in the first half of the U.S.’s 2-0 win over Colombia, and that’s bad news: because each was already sitting on a yellow from earlier in the World Cup, they’ll miss Friday’s quarterfinal match against China. They were the only two players entering the… »6/23/15 11:08am6/23/15 11:08am