It sounds nicer than what you're doing for Valentine's Day.

"Alicia Marie and I will be at a spa for a couples' massage, going to a live jazz club and spending the night at a posh hotel - champagne, strawberries in the room - where a personal chef is going to come and prepare dinner. Piece of Cake in Buckhead is making a special Valentine's Day cake for after dinner."

Sheesh, he's got a pretty lucrative post-baseball career, we guess. Other highlights include Magic coach Stan Van Gundy taking his wife to a Van Halen concert and Falcons owner Arthur Blank making it absolutely clear that he loves animals by giving his wife a cat. They should all just skip it and just go to a book reading. Or, you know, sit alone and cry, realizing death will be solitary.

Valentine's Day Plans Vary For Sports Personalities [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

Anyway, these here Internets are doing their best to figure out how to shoehorn this Hallmark holiday celebrating the legendary wolf that suckled Romulus and Remus into something sports-related. The guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber have their grouchy take on the holiday, and, in the most ambitious undertaking, the gang at Free Darko have gathered a cornucopia of writers to muse on the relationship between love and basketball.

It's not exactly the most thrilling sports night this evening, so there's no excuse for any of you not to go out and buy an expensive dinner in a crowded restaurant. And for those single folks? Do people still watch "Lost?" Don't worry: You won't die alone. Probably not.

Free Darko V-Day Spectacular [Free Darko]
VD Treat We Can Get Behind [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

(By the way, the above book is called The Anti-Valentine's Day Handbook and is written by Johan More, the poet laureate of The Black Table.)