For all the talk of Tim Hardaway over the last week, we mustn't forget this grand moment from last year's Masters, when Vijay Singh, upset with a slicing drive, croaked "Fucking Faggot Motherfucker!" in his special Vijah Singh accent.

We don't think anyone can legitimately be held accountable for anything they say after a poor golf shot, but we still like to imagine Singh saying this anytime we see him doing a television commercial.

Phil Mickelson is your current leader at -4. Chad Campbell, who was leading at -6 when I went to sleep last night, saved himself the embarrassment of losing the lead late on Sunday by losing it early on Sunday. He shot a 75 in the third round. And Tim Clark actually had it up to -7, but finished with a not-so-pretty 40 on the back nine. Rocco Mediate was tied for the lead at -4, before double bogeying the 18th

The course is playing hard as hell, evidently. The greens are drying out and the wind is picking up. Add those to the fact that they lengthened the course to be bigger than a few of the world's smaller nations, and we could see some substantial train wrecks this afternoon.

The leaderboard for this thing is unbelievable. Here are your key afternoon tee times:

2:12: Rocco "Fella" Mediate (-2), "Mid Life Crisis Ponytail" Miguel Angel Jimenez (-1)
2:22: Darren Clarke (-2), Vijay Singh (-2)
2:32: Eldrick "Tiger" Woods (-2), Tim Clark (-2)
2:42: Chad Campbell (-3), Steven Ames (-2)
2:52: Phil Mickelson (-4), Freddie "Boom Boom" Couples (-3)

The Official Site of the Masters Tournament [masters.org]

As we congratulate Tiger Woods for finally figuring out the correct way to slap another man's hand with his own, we take a look at the Masters, which, for all its bluster and Carlyle Group vibe, is the one golf tournament we look forward to every year, even if it's just because it reminds us that eventually, it won't be so damned freezing out. Plus, it's fun to watch overweight, balding white men cream in their jeans about the "hallowed ground" of big huge patches of grass and sand.

Anyway, Tiger ended the day at even par, five strokes behind the leader, Vijay Singh, or as we like to call him, Senor Happy Pants. Alas, it turns out that pounding beers and sucking down Marlboros isn't the best training regiment after all; John Daly is currently two over par. Pity.

In a totally unrelated note, Barry Bonds just stepped to the plate in San Francisco and received, of course, a standing ovation. We have always had a sneaking suspicion that Barry and Hootie Johnson are secret best pals. Bonds was intentionally walked with one out and runners on second and third, an obvious situation; the Giants announcers still called Bobby Cox a "chicken." Evil comes in many forms, friends.

The Masters [Official Site]
Tiger Woods, Mr. Cool [Deadspin]
Ah, The Pageantry Of August [Deadspin]