*****

Welcome to our wonderful UCLA-VCU liveblog!

I'm gonna be honest up front: I went to USC. I've been heavily, and successfully, brainwashed into hating the Bruins. A lot.

However, today is the birthday of UCLA alum and current love-of-my-life-whom-I've-never-met Jorma Taccone (probably most recognized as the guy who is not Andy Samberg in the "Jizz In My Pants" video). In honor of the holiday, I'm going to give them a fair shake, and totally refrain from mentioning anything regarding football, USC's beatdown in the Staples Center last Friday night, or, uh, football.

I will try to keep up with your comments as best as I can, so feel free to send questions my way. I will probably answer like, two of them.

For now, we await tip-off. Let the blogging begin!

9:50
Aaaaand, we're off! What? The game hasn't started yet? Oh, some preview information then!

President Obama picked VCU to upset UCLA in this game. However, as of 9:45 tonight, in a poll on VCU fan site vcuramnation.com, more of VCU's own fans (26%) predicted a first-round loss for the Rams than any other possible tournament outcome. Will they follow those presidential orders? Or cave from the pressure?

9:52
Well, folks, we got 15 minutes to go. For your pregame entertainment, this anecdote: I had to explain to my brother what the hell "Deadspin" was. He asked, "Is it like ESPN?" He really liked my explanation, which followed: "It's like ESPN's misbehaving cousin that everybody tries to ignore at family dinners, but can't cause you can't quit staring at the green beans he's shoved up his nose."

10:03
So, as it sits, I'm 10-for-12 in my NCAA Tournament picks. So is Mr. President. Our brackets are the same for the other late games tonight, we only differ on this one. So I think I've got to root for the Bruins, so I can get ahead of him...

10:04
Finally, coverage of the UCLA-VCU game begins!

10:05
And, I realize I mislabeled two of those posts with Pacific Time (now fixed). I better change the clock on my computer so I confuse myself less. Damn you, East-Coasters!

10:07
The game has started! I support black jerseys. Wait, crap! I want those guys to lose! I hate not being able to root for the underdog.

10:09
Is this how this game is going to go? UCLA playing keep-away until VCU stands up to the big bully and irresponsibly fouls, again and again? It has not been a very exciting first 90 seconds.

10:10
If I comment on the CBS commentator bringing up how "flat" UCLA's play was against the Trojans last week in the PAC-10 tournament, that doesn't count as me picking on them.

10:12
More fouls. barely any points scored. Wouldn't it be fun if neither team cracked 40 points this game?

10:15
Yay! People scoring points! Much better. VCU keeping up OK so far.

10:16
Whoa. That guy just took Aboya's shoulder, right in the mouth. Hard. UCLA up 12-8 for our first media break.

10:17
RE: Johninho's comment - yea, I have no idea who or what this Yoni character is. There were a couple of gender-neutral names in the liveblog lineup but I had suspected I was the only chick.

RE: Pornstars-for-Wilbon - deal!

10:19
Aboya hails from Cameroon. Isn't that one of those countries that sends only like, six people to the Olympics?

10:21
Once again, VCU fails to tie it up by turning over the basketball. They led by a point for like, 30 seconds earlier, haven't been able to capitalize on any good opportunities since.

10:22
It's 42 degrees in Philadelphia right now. In VCU's hometown of Richmond, Virginia, they had a high of 62. Here in LA? 71 and sunny, baby.

10:25
Wait, is John Wooden not at the game? I mean he's only 98 and in kinda fragile health, but still! What a bad fan.

10:26
Wow, epic fail on the rebounds there, Rams. Off like three guys' fingertips into the hands of the Bruins. Luckily for them, ended in a failed shot and a foul on the Bruins.

10:29
VCU finally ties it up at 13 with Maynor's free throws.

10:29
NICE denial by Sanders! Still couldn't convert it to points, though.

10:30
My first sighting of the Rams' mascot - looks more like a teddy bear with horns than an intimidating Ram.

10:30
Haha! Missed pass. Must've been distracted by those sparkly, shiny VCU cheerleaders' pom-poms.

10:33
Wow, sad layup attempt, hit the bottom of the rim. UCLA runs off and scores a 3 instead.

10:34
VCU gaining a little momentum on some three's. We'll see where this goes...

10:35
Holiday travels. Rams get even more momentum.

10:36
You know the most challenging part of this liveblog business? Typing the timestamps, and making them bold, quickly enough for the post to still be relevant. The things I do to make this thing beautiful for you people!

10:37
And we're back from commercial break to see... Bruin cheerleaders squatting awkwardly mid-court.

10:39
VCU shooting a free throw again, can they take back that one-point lead??

10:40
YES! But can't make any of those layup attempts a possession later.

10:41
VCU needs to up in the offensive rebounds methinks. Can't keep letting UCLA get away with it.

10:44
Has anybody seen the VCU Pep Band? I saw the Bruin Varsity Band cordoned off in a little box in the corner a few times already. But the internet told me VCU may still have a hot band leader who likes to strip.

10:45
Wow, even Blue Man Group are Duke fans? (Coke Zero commercial)

10:46
And just when I ask for it, I'm given the VCU Band playing the always original "Hey" song...

10:47
UCLA has pulled the lead out to what I believe is a game-high 9 points.

10:49
Yes, that is their biggest lead so far. Well, was, before they brought it up to 12. Don't you hate it when sportscasters steal your lines right after you say/write them? This would make sense had that last comment not taken 30 seconds to post.

10:50
VCU barely holds on to the ball after a steal, can they score any points before the half ends???

10:51
Answer: NO! UCLA up 35-25 following I think 13 unanswered points in the last few minutes of the half.

10:55
All right, kids, it's halftime. Let's hit up Wikipedia and learn about the two schools being represented here tonight.

Some fun facts about VCU:

Their student cheering section is called the "Rowdy Rams", and their alumni include the real Patch Adams, Debbie Matenopoulos (one of the original bitches of "The View"), members of the band GWAR, and the guy who created 4chan!

11:01
Some fun facts about UCLA:

It's finals week, so that means UCLA students will be (or did they last night?) participating in their traditional* "Undie Run". However, seeing UCLA students prance around Westwood in their skivvies really loses its effect when they do it every single quarter; it feels like the last one was only 2 weeks ago.

*This has only been going on for like 6 years max. Does that make it a tradition?

Notable alumni include Judge Joe Brown, Elizabeth Berkeley from Showgirls, George Takei, and a lot of local LA politicians who probably don't matter to most of you reading this liveblog.

11:05
It appears commenter Johninho wants to start some sort of fight with me by criticizing my ability to pay really close attention to lame commercials while typing and holding back the urge to take a piss break. But he's definitely commented more than any other reader of this post. I'm starting to think he's got a crush on me and wants to show it by teasing me, like a 7-year-old.

11:08
Hey! There's that band leader, showing off his mad white-boy dance moves.

11:11
Dick Engberg: "Boathouse Row makes you wanna look for... a good skull, that's what I say." WTF does that even mean!??!

11:12
And we're back again! VCU first to score in the second half.

11:14
RE: Johninho - I actually saw blue and the letter "K" and typed the comment before the commercial even ended. But thanks!! Maybe I'll let you be my date for the Sadie Hawkins dance.

11:15
VCU is on fire! I mean, if you don't count the can't make any baskets thing.

11:18
VCU with a three, narrows UCLA's lead to 6. I'm so glad this game is waaaayyy more entertaining than the blowouts going on in Greensboro and Kansas City.

11:19
That one Rams cheerleader they just showed is gonna be bald in a few years if she keeps perming and peroxiding her hair like that.

11:21
I just realized how bitchy that comment was. The Jezebel girls might get mad at me for the needless girl-on-girl crime. But really, at least I haven't made any judgments on their visible midriffs.

11:25
VCU is still keeping pretty close with the Bruins. I think this is the part where Air Force One lands on the roof and the secret service takes out Holiday and Aboya to preserve Mr. Obama's token upset pick of the day.

11:28
Sanders fouls Shipp, but really, I would too, letting him land a dunk like that would've been a real momentum-killer.

11:33
Key stat provided by CBS: UCLA's scored 14 points off of turnovers, VCU's gotten none. Rams can't capitalize on scoring opportunities, seems to be the running theme of the night.

11:35
Off-topic: I used to have Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus" as a ringtone on my phone, too, just like that creepy kid from the E-Trade commercials.

11:36
RE: That handstand-walking cheerleader moment we just witnessed. Wow. Just, wow. I won't even begin to count the reasons that was just freakin' weird.

11:38
That thing where Nixon tipped in the shot that bounced off the corner of the backboard was pretty cool. All of a sudden the UCLA lead is down to only 4! Too close for comfort for the Bruins. Jorma does not approve.

11:42
Collison's pushing it with 4 fouls, and a quarter of the game to go. If the Rams can keep him riled up and fouling....

11:44
Gwynn is arguing with the ref about that possible elbow-jab. My bracket says he clearly was aiming his elbow at that guy's neck, but my heart wants the refs to go easy on him.

11:45
Haha somehow for like twenty minutes there I managed to accidentally add a capital "W" to the end of this post's title. I am such a clumsy live-blogger.

11:46
Maynor, one of the Ram's senior leaders, needs to cool it. They gotta keep it together if they want a chance to win this.

11:50
All these golf commercials are making me sleepy.

11:51
Seriously, Morgan State guys getting ejected? They're down by thirty in a game no one thought they would win anyhow. Lay off the 'roids, boys.

11:54
A good back-and-forth there. I think the crowd in Philly is the only one still awake.

11:55
Johninho, you gotta start bringin' the funny better or I'm totally gonna dump you for Craig Eshericks Mustache.

11:59
I'm sorry, but I just can't help but laugh when Collison lets the ball just roll between his legs like that.

12:01
VCU with two threes! Listen to those "Rowdy Rams" in the crowd! It's a one-possession game! This is why my friend (whose name I won't mention so as to not embarrass her, she knows who she is) says "the last 5 minutes of a basketball game are the only part that matter."

12:04
UCLA doesn't have any half-naked female fans to compete with VCU's, cause Philadelphia is so "cold" to LA girls, it may as well be the North Pole.

12:06
I really can't decide who to root for. I love an underdog. But, regardless of my bracket, I kind of want UCLA to win just so I can use my "Happy Jorma" picture.

12:08
I've been challenged to try to use 20 F-bombs before the game ends. No fucking way I'm gonna cheat, though, they'll all be fucking awesome and fucking appropriate. No gratuitous cussing.

12:09
FUCK YEA! One-point game! I am glad I live alone so I can yell louder than the fans in the stadium without annoying anyone besides the cat.

12:10
Aboya sinks two free throws. Timeout. That stripping band leader better fucking bring it and not give the crowd in Philly a chance to quiet down.

12:11
I fucking LOVE how he does what I say right after I write it.

12:12
Holy fuck, I totally held my breath while that rolled around the rim before going in.

12:13
Timeouts?!? WHY MORE TIMEOUTS!?? Actually, they're useful, I couldn't type fast enough without them. Damn emboldened timestamps!

12:14
Oh, fuck, I've only got seven fucks. I can do fucking better than this! But it's so hard, I cant take my eyes off OHMYFUCKINGGOD SANDERS KNOCKS IT OUT

12:15
Finally, now that the game's almost over, these posts start saving and publishing more quickly. It's about fucking time! Maybe the other games ended? Really, I can't even take two seconds to check on that right now, this game is fucking awesome.

12:16
13 fucking seconds. This is what it comes down to. VCU's season. UCLA's season. Oh I fucking love this tournament.

12:17
Oh fuck! It's over! It all happened so fast!

12:19
Maynor was the guy who had the game-winning shot a couple years ago when the Rams knocked Duke out of the tournament. Not so lucky this time. Also, I only got in 15 F-bombs, so I lose.

I did, however, do better with my predictions than the President. Barack Obama's bracket can suck it!

12:22
Well, that's it for me, folks. It's been a blast. To celebrate the Bruins' win, I'll leave you with this adorable sight:

Happy Jorma!!!

**Correction: I originally slipped in an extra letter in the spelling of Rams fansite vcuramnation.com. Gotta give proper linkage!**

2) The House That Wooden Built. In many ways, Pauley Pavilion is like old Yankee Stadium. It has been the home to some of the greatest legends in the history of the game, seen more championships than any other franchise ... and is not so secretly kind of a dump. The highest paying donors sit in bleacher seats with very little access to restrooms—there is literally one urinal in the entire lower section—and baseline seating is very far removed from the action relative to modern arenas. While it's pretty widely recognized amongst alumni that Pauley is in need of a major overhaul, it's unlikely that the athletic department will get the large donations required to make that happen in the current economic climate. So in the meantime, UCLA fans will have to think of Pauley's antiquity as part of its charm.

3) The Dream Team returned for one more run Kevin Love, Russell Westbrook, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute were all key parts of last year's Final Four team and all declared early for the NBA draft. While there's been a drop off in talent on the court, the talent on the sidelines is just as strong as ever. All nine members of the 07-08 dance team returned for their senior year. If that isn't a reason to root for UCLA to make it deep into the tournament, I don't know what is. — Derek (insomniacslounge)

VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH RAMS

1) The Circle of Good Genes The Rams were (very) briefly the most popular team in America two springs ago after they upset Duke in the first round of the 2007 tournament. One of the players on that Duke team was Gerald Henderson Jr. and his father, Gerald Henderson Sr., was a star for the Rams in the 1970s before spending 13 years in the NBA. Even more spooky—neither one of them is actually named Gerald.

2) Back for more VCU didn't make it back to the Dance in '08 after getting upset themselves in the Colonial conference tournament, but they managed to pull off the double conference win again this year and find themselves right back where they started—an 11-seed with a chance to take down another team that folks to love hate, the UCLA Bruins. Eric Maynor, now a senior, hit the game-winning shot in that Duke game and the incredible joy of that moment obviously propelled him to become the school's career leader in points and assists.

3) Sounds like socialism to me Technically, Virginia is a Commonwealth and not a state, but there is really no difference politically or legally between the two. In fact, the only effect so far as I can tell is that the school is not called Virginia State University, but that doesn't explain why Pennsylvania (also a commonwealth) has Penn State, but not Penn Commonwealth. That identity confusion is probably why the Nittany Lions are in the NIT. — Dashiell

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2. No Flipping! 6'9" Freshman forward Larry Sanders is the tallest player on the roster and highlights a group of three sophomores and seven freshmen that Anthony Grant has recruited (presumably legally, in case Rick Greenspan is reading this) during his tenure. With Maynor the only returning senior next year, Sanders & Co. will make this Grant's team for the foreseeable future. Sanders has had an inconsistent regular season - 11 points, 8 boards and 7 blocks against Towson; 0 points and 3 fouls in only 3 minutes of play vs. Georgia St. - but would lead the nation in blocks at 20.1 percent if he qualified. He stepped it up in the CAA tournament, going for 14 points, 15 rebounds and four blocks against Towson and 8 points and 7 boards in the loss to William & Mary. Majoring in art (VCU has the #1 rated sculpture program in the nation according to US News & World Report - take that Cranbrook Academy of Art!), his bio on the VCU athletics website claims "His long, lean and athletic body will excite Rams' fans for years to come" - don't forget Jay Bilas, he gets excited by length, too! We can only hope for a sighting of David Duchovny watching courtside with a dreamy look on his face.

3. VCU Fun Facts. The current university president, Eugene P. Trani, has been quoted as saying that he will not allow football to come to VCU on his watch due to academic snobbery allegiance to al-Qaeda a fear of men in tight pants the extra incurred cost. He is considering scholarships for Civil War Re-enactments, however.....Among VCU's ridiculous Alumni are "Patch" Adams, Stephen Furst (best known as "Flounder" from "Animal House"), Debbie Matenopoulos, Stefan Lessard (Bassist for Dave Matthews Band), and some basketball player named Bill Zepplin ('72-'74) - could you imagine being a guy in college in the 70s with the last name Zepplin? And an athlete to boot? If any of the women actually wore bras during that era, I imagine you would get them thrown at you as you walked to class every day.....VCU has a branch campus for its School of the Arts in Education City, Qatar, informally known as VCU-Qatar. I'm pretty sure they're joining the MEAC (Middle East Athletic Conference) in 2009 along with Beirut State, Dubai Southern and Tel Aviv A&M. Fittingly, the school offers a major in Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness......Grant starred at Dayton as a player in the 80s and spent a year playing for the Flint Miami Tropics of the United States Basketball League in 1987.....Athletic Director Norwood Teague sounds like he should be in Judge Smails' foursome at Bushwood Country Club. — Jamie Paquette

We don't mean to imply that Virginia Commonwealth — the school where the band G.W.A.R. was founded, by the way — is extremely popular this morning, but The Truth About Duke Web site has VCU's logo as its background and we received six emails overnight simply with the phrase "GO RAMS!" in the subject line.

Yes, the mighty Duke has fallen, and just because Duke wasn't all that mighty this year doesn't mean the sports planet isn't relishing the Blue Devils' loss. It was the first first-round loss for Duke in a decade, and it's one that brightened up an otherwise somewhat dreary day of the NCAA tournament.

It seems inevitable, in retrospect, that Duke was going to lose last night. They've looked wobbly all year, and VCU had that look from the beginning last night. And they bloodied half the Blue Devils on the way there? For most fans, the icing on the cake, just sublime happenstance.

The Chain's Strongest Link [SI.com]
Duke Loses, And America Cheers [NY Times] (subscription)

You know, it already just doesn't feel right without Duke in the NCAA tournament. It's just wrong. Wrong!

Really. Totally. Honest.

It's so sad. Duke has fallen. A nation, collectively, weeps.

The Truth About Duke

DUKE BLUE DEVILS

1. Duke Green. Not that the .500 record in ACC play this year was a tipoff or anything, but this is one of the youngest Duke squads in history. The only senior on this year's team is Joe Pagliuca, who's seen his minutes steadily decline from year to year: from 9 to 7 to 4 to 2. DeMarcus Nelson, the team's leading scorer, is the only junior on the squad, and after that it's six sophs and six freshmen. Early trips to the Association meant that the starting lineup could have looked like Livingston-Paulus-Nelson-Deng-McRoberts this year, but given that the NBA saved Duke fans another year of Shavlik Randolph in '06, I think that most would agree it evens out.

2. Coach K Prepares You For Life, Coach Dan Brooks Just Wins Championships. We know about Dukies in the NBA. But what about other sports? Duke has five players in the NFL, none of whom were drafted and only one of whom (Ryan Fowler, LB, Cowboys) played a snap last season. Duke also has five MLB players, most notably Chris Capuano, Scott Schoeneweis and Quinton McCracken (still alive... shocking!). The school that once produced Sonny Jurgensen and Lawrence "Crash" Davis (yes, he was real) can take pride in its other main athletic export, however: LPGA players! Brittany Lang, Virada Nirapathpongporn, Candy Hannemann and Kristina Engstrom all have their tour cards for '07, and the Duke women's golf team has won four NCAA titles in the last ten years (including the past two) in addition to 11 straight ACC championships.

3. A Gaudet Record. You may recall the Mike Krzyzewski/Pete Gaudet Record Fiasco of 1995, especially when Billy "Why Is A 700 Year Old Man Still Calling Himself Billy?" Packer frothed over it during a telecast this year in the midst of Duke's longest losing streak in 11 years. Sadly for Duke haters, much of the conventional wisdom regarding the case is faulty; the record decision was made when the team was 9-3 before Gaudet had even coached a game, so you'll either have to chalk it up to a premonition on Coach K's part, an evil NCAA conspiracy (so the most famous coach in college hoops can't just say "go back and change it?"), or just the usual standby: Satan. But where, you may ask, is Pete Gaudet now? He parlayed 12 years on the Duke bench into... the video coordinator position for the OSU women's hoops team. I am in no way judging that career choice. — Matt DeTura

VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH RAMS

1. Like Father, Like Duke. Gerald Henderson Jr., he of the face-breaking adamantium elbows, is the son of VCU alum Gerald Henderson (fancy that!), the best NBA player to come out of the Commonwealth. We can only presume the elder Henderson acquired the How To Land Your Ulna Bone On The Bridge Of An Opponent's Nose With Devastating Results style guide while winning an NBA Championship with the 1990 Bad Boy Pistons and subsequently passed them down to his eager protege/son, not yet even three years old at the time. Speaking of Duke — and since we put our headline-eggs in the Duke basket — this all comes semi-circle in noting that Duke alum Jeff Capel(the III) coached VCU for four years prior to current head coach Anthony Grant, never winning fewer than 18 games. Last year Capel left VCU for a coaching job at Oklahoma one month after signing a six-year contract. What does it all mean? Never trust a Blue Devil.

2. VCU's Gonna Get Medieval On Your Ashe. Speaking of broken bones and style guides, VCU doesn't have a football team, but Robert Lanham, author of The Hipster Handbook and a VCU alum, tells us the school does have a "medieval club" where students practice their jousting in full armor (good Knights-in-Shining-Armor are so hard to find these days). Epic scrimmages take place on the grass beneath a statue of Robert E. Lee on Monument Avenue, a street decorated with a collection of enormous bronze statues celebrating a handful of civil war "heroes." The other statues include Stonewall Jackson, J.E.B. Stuart, Jefferson Davis and perhaps most appropriately, deceased tennis pro Arthur Ashe.

3. Winning At Home Is All About Defense, Rebounding and Fresh Organs. Wiki tells us VCU is home to the nation's oldest organ transplant center. The records tell us that VCU has been one of the best home teams in the country, going 98-19 since they opened the Stuart C. Siegel Center in 1999. Coaching probably has a lot to do with the Rams success at home, but we also think the school is just loaded with heart. — The Assimilated Negro

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2. VCU's Gonna Get Medieval On Your Ashe. Speaking of broken bones and style guides, VCU doesn't have a football team, but Robert Lanham, author of The Hipster Handbook and a VCU alum, tells us the school does have a "medieval club" where students practice their jousting in full armor (good Knights-in-Shining-Armor are so hard to find these days). Epic scrimmages take place on the grass beneath a statue of Robert E. Lee on Monument Avenue, a street decorated with a collection of enormous bronze statues celebrating a handful of civil war "heroes." The other statues include Stonewall Jackson, J.E.B. Stuart, Jefferson Davis and perhaps most appropriately, deceased tennis pro Arthur Ashe.

3. Winning At Home Is All About Defense, Rebounding and Fresh Organs. Wiki tells us VCU is home to the nation's oldest organ transplant center. The records tell us that VCU has been one of the best home teams in the country, going 98-19 since they opened the Stuart C. Siegel Center in 1999. Coaching probably has a lot to do with the Rams success at home, but we also think the school is just loaded with heart. — The Assimilated Negro