Deadspin: vitali klitschko

Home Health Remedies With Vitali Klitschko

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Are your knuckles sore from punching people in the face for 25-30 minutes at a time? Well, current WBC heavyweight champion Vitali Klitschko knows a thing or two about that, and he's used every trick there is to try and reduce the swelling of bruised and busted hands. But now he's finally found the secret and is ready to share this miracle cure with you. It's simple: just wrap your swollen hands in diapers soaked in your child's urine.

Why, Klitschko used this one just the other night after beating Samuel Peter to reclaim his WBC belt!

"Baby wee is good because it's pure, doesn't contain toxins and doesn't smell," the 37-year old boxer told Bild after he won back the WBC title with a technical knockout on Saturday.

"I wrap nappies filled with my 3-year-old son Max's wee around my fists," Klitschko said, adding that he got the idea from his grandmother. "The nappies hold the liquid and the swelling stays down."

Dang it, why didn't I think of that? I coulda been a contender!

• Champion Klitschko uses infant son's wet diapers to reduce hand swelling [ESPN; Photo via USA Today]

Samuel Peter Had a Bad Day; Klitschko and Dawson Win Big

KOGOD — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:30:07 EDT

Vitali Klitschko made his return to the ring after a retirement that lasted nearly four years, all the while looking like he'd never left the gym. The man who retired with the WBC heavyweight title showed his age in the form of some gray hairs and a slightly softer torso, but his precision in the ring was perfect in an eight-round ass kicking of Samuel Peter in Germany. Later in the night Chad Dawson took center stage in Las Vegas with another statement win, this time in dominating fashion against the IBO and IBF light heavyweight champ, Antonio "Mason Dixon" Tarver.

Klitschcko completely dismantled Peter, whose only previously loss came at the hands of one Wladimir Klitschko, to the point that the Nigerian Nightmare was forced to quit on his stool. Frankly Peter came out looking as if he'd been dosed with lithium earlier in the evening, and Klitschko was able to land anything and everything at will, with very little coming back at him.

The win makes Vitali and Wladimir the first pair of brothers to hold heavyweight titles simultaneously. Of course this totally fucks up the heavyweight division (further) because the two brothers will never fight each other. So much for unifying that mostly worthless division.

• I was completely sold on Chad Dawson after watching his brutal victory over Glen Johnson, and now he's surely secured himself a lot more fans. Because hey, who doesn't love a guy who kicks Antonio Tarver's ass? Dawson, who boxes in the southpaw stance despite being right-hand dominant, showed off the rare combination of speed, power, and creativity in his hands to win the 12 round unanimous decision.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. insists that Dawson is the best fighter in the world, and while I'm not quite ready to go there, he could very well become the most avoided fighter in the world after his last few performances. Seriously, nobody with something to lose is going to want any piece of him. Say for example, the winner of Calzaghe-Jones. Hey, Kelly Pavlik might have more balls than brains. Let's ask him!

Original images via Yahoo! Sports

At Least He Doesn't Have AIDS

mjdeadspin — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 14:47:44 EST

Lennox Lewis wants to make a comeback to the boxing ring. Who's he going to fight? Someone else who's coming out of retirement, of course, because that's all that's really left in boxing. An old-timers day in boxing would be rather redundant.

Lewis and Vitali Klitschko want to punch each other in the face a few more times. They did it once back in 2003, a fight Lewis won on a controversial TKO. Lewis retired after that fight, despite the calls for rematch, and despite the money he could have made off it. He retired as champion, with his dignity and health intact. Imagine that.

But, something about the sideshow that professional boxing has become is calling him back. It really seemed like Lennox Lewis was above this. There's a place in the world for guys like Tommy Mirroson and Joe Mesi, and for better or worse, that place is probably in the ring, getting punched in the face until they die. What else are they going to do, go to med school?

Lewis seemed like the one boxer out there smart enough to realize that there are other ways to live your life. Screw it, though. You wanna come back, then come back... Tommy Morrison's going to need opponents on his way to the heavyweight title.

Lennox Lewis reportedly planning comeback [MSNBC]
Tommy Morrison Most Healthy Undercard Winner Last Night [Deadspin]