Lawrence Timmons is doing just great, everybody.
This MLB season is not even a week old, yet fans are already resorting to the kind of boredom-reducing insane behavior we usually see in late September. Two separate incidents in Detroit and Milwaukee will, if you continue reading any further, probably ruin your appetite for the day. You’ve been warned.
Today is one of the two major opportunities for belligerent public day-drinking associated with a saint. Is it better or worse than the other one?
Marcus Peters is as sickened by the state of placekicking in the NFL as you. CBS cameras caught the Chiefs defensive back vomiting after Oakland failed to get points on their fourth quarter drive today. Get well soon, Marcus.
Don’t ever go to Boston, man. Boston is bad.
Several of you wrote in last night to express concern for MLB Network’s Heidi Watney, who appeared to be crying while calling highlights on last night’s Quick Pitch broadcast. Watney’s one of the few bright spots on an otherwise dopey, Harold Reynolds-dominated talent roster at the baseball net, so we were worried…
Tonight's Lightning-Penguins game in Pittsburgh came to a screeching halt in the first period when referee Mike Leggo started puking all over the ice.
I barfed last night. To be more precise, I barfed in five different locations. The first two were test barfs. I was at this Japanese barbecue joint with some friends—the kind of place where you can get skewers of meatballs and chicken parts grilled on a hibachi for two bucks each, and wash them all down with a lot…
We are aggressively apathetic toward the results and performances in NFL preseason games, instead relying on weird stuff, sometimes including players doing unlikely things with bodily fluids, to make the news. Like Bengals QB Matt Scott puking his guts out a couple of times, then immediately throwing a touchdown…
This happened at last week's Nebraska state speech championships, and we are so glad that it did. We don't know the identity of the kid fire-hosing the remnants of his turkey sandwich all over his hands and feet, but we do know that he is a hero. Because of him, we may now enjoy the world's first perfect photo.
I haven't watched enough grappling competitions to know what the worst thing that could possibly happen to a grappler is, but I have to assume that getting blasted in the face with a fart so noxious that it immediately causes one to vomit and stop the match has to be near the top of the list.
New question on rally car application forms: Do you get carsick?
Man goes to baseball game. Man spends nine innings consuming what must have been copious amounts of alcohol. Man sends forth a river of vomit while trying to leave stadium. Man saunters off like nothing happened. Man probably feels much better.
Richard Gasquet hit an overhead winner to end a 56 second-long point with Grigor Dimitrov in their French Open second round match today. Gasquet promptly threw up his banana and Dimitrov fell to the ground with a severe leg cramp. Dimitrov never quite recovered; Gasquet would take the next three sets.
It has been an unfortunate week for gentlemen suffering gastrointestinal distress on the soccer pitch, as at least two professional stars displayed their athletic acumen—and their lunch—before what we assume was a grossed-out television audience.
Delonte West was sick last night, but still managed to play 27 minutes and score five points on two of five shooting. Then he presumably went home a puked all over the place, took a picture and exclaimed "I think that's the last of it....I feel like my soul just tried to get out my body...gotd#mn!!!"
The Mavericks' Sean Williams made the most of his 11 minutes in a 115-93 loss to Denver—the forward, who spent all of last season in the D-League, tallied 12 points—but it was his performance after returning to the bench that brought his teammates to their feet.