Joe Montana's progeny completed 14 of 21 passes for 232 yards and three touchdowns on Friday as the Lions won their Northwest Division final against Gardena Serra, which was no match, talent-wise. But that's nothing new for Oaks, which finished 14-0 this season, every game a gimme. While the competition was lacking, it was kind of fun hobnobbing with the fans.

With Joe Montana, Norm Chow, Marc Tyler and a cast of hundreds looking on, the Lions became the first high school team to win six consecutive Southern Section football championships with a 63-28 thumping of Gardena Serra in the Northwest Division final.

Will Smith wasn't there, even though his son Trey, a sophomore, apparently was called up from the junior varsity for the game. Wayne Gretzky's kid, Trevor, also played JV.

Unlike 2006, when Jimmy Clausen led Oaks Christian to a California Interscholastic State Division III bowl title, Oaks saw their season end on Friday. They weren't invited to the state bowl game due to the fact that they only played one top-25 team this season; St. Bonaventure (13-1) of Ventura got the berth instead. Is the cupcake scheduling a way to protect Montana, a junior, from being pummeled by talented defensive lines? Treating him like a hothouse flower doesn't exactly indicate a huge amount of confidence in his ability. But we'll see ... maybe Charlie Weis can whip him into shape.

So Oaks Christian is now 99-8-1 at the varsity level since the school began playing football in 2001. Their own Tri-Valley League has started a movement to boot them out, and the search is on for a league with better competition. But if there's a chance the Lions might lose, will Tom Cruise continue to attend games? We'll keep you posted.

Big Finish For Oaks Christian [Los Angeles Times]

Arrive early before the Montana, Gretzky and Smith families take all the good seats.

Pictured here are Nick Montana, Trevor Gretzky and Trey Smith, whose fathers you may know. Montana, a junior, has quarterbacked the varsity (Gretzky and Smith are sophomore receivers) to within one win of the school's sixth straight Section championship.

The Cavaliers are the one team in the division that can match the Lions' speed and skill-position prowess, but only one team has so much as stayed close to Oaks Christian in a title game. The Lions defeated Oak Park, 21-16, in the 2003 championship game, but have won their four other titles by an average of 37.5 points.

Oaks Christian, which also gave the world current Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen, is 98-8-1 at the varsity level since the school began playing football in 2001. But there's trouble in paradise. Because Oaks draws talented athletes from as far away as Canada, and regularly pounds its Tri-Valley League foes (they beat Carpinteria 56-0 in the game I attended in October), no one wants them in their league. Tri-Valley wants to kick them out, and other area leagues are reluctant to take them. I'm convinced that one reason is the occasional attendance of Tom Cruise at their games; the actor is good friends with Gretzky.

Poor, homeless Oaks Christian (annual tuition, about $22 grand). Hope they don't end up in the Pac-10.

Oh, and I saw Jerry Rice at a basketball tournament in Burlingame (Calif.) last night, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt as he watched his son, Jerry Rice Jr., score six points for Menlo School of Atherton.

Oaks Christian Has Outgrown Its Competition [Los Angeles Times]

We know it's not random YouTube Wednesday — that makes it sound like a radio promotion, doesn't it? — but this was too delicious not to post. We don't remember that old cartoon show in the early '90s called "Pro Stars," but it apparently featured animated versions of Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Bo Jackson doing what they do best: Fighting crime!

They live in a gym, apparently live in lockers and have special crime-fighting skills that are, fortuitously, directly related to their athletic talents. We are actually disappointed they didn't have this in the late '90s, with Bonds, McGwire and Sosa.

But as Michael says: It's all about ... helpin' kids!

Pro Stars Intro [YouTube]

Hockey icon Wayne Gretzky, under scrutiny after his wife, Janet Jones, was implicated in a sports betting ring, has lost more than $2 million in Las Vegas casinos, an insider said. Gretzky, head coach of the Phoenix Coyotes, has a credit line that allows him to bet up to $25,000 per hand but plays well below that level.

The story goes on to explain that Gretzky and his wife typically play $1,000-a-hand blackjack. We love the mental image of Gretzky and Janet Jones sitting at a lonely table deep into the night, with Winstons smoke wafting around them, as some guy — looking like Robert Patrick in "The Sopranos" — tells him how his kids won't return his calls and that he just needs that lucky break, man, my ship's comin' in, I can feel it. Hey, Janet, you ever hang out with Michael Winslow? Love that guy's funny voices.

Gretzkys On List Of Highest Rollers [Las Vegas Review-Journal]

In fact, Jones has long been considered Yoko to Gretzky's Lennon. She is perceived as having steered him away of The Great White North and toward Hollywood and all America's excess. (By "excess," we mean "Police Academy sequels.") And now she has him gambling in Vegas and on horses but, uh, nowhere else while she puts down $100K in bets herself.

We'd like to note that Jones' personal spokesperson is a man named Elliot Mintz. You might recognize that name as — yep — Yoko Ono's publicist.

And hey, he's the Hilton sisters' too.

Troubled Gretzky Heading to Turin [ABC News]

"Mmmm, Olympic gold (gurgle)." They're saying that the Turin Winter Olympic gold medal is more bagel-like than the designers would care to admit. And now that we see it, it does look somewhat delicious. [Road to Torino]

Super Bowl party at Ted Nugent's house? We're there. Wooo! Actually, we're not sure what the statement is here. Troy Polamalu played like a deer in the headlights? We just hope it's not one of those novelty singing devices. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

How many Boston-area birds will be enjoying this fine addition to the bottoms of their cages this week? We guess a lot. [Yahoo News]

We can't help it: We just can't read about the Wayne Gretzky/Janet Jones/NHL gambling saga without thinking about the movie Lost In America. "You are no longer allowed to use the words 'nest' and 'egg' in the same sentence." [Crazy4Cinema]

First off, Wayne Gretzky, who didn't exactly have his wife's back from the get-go, has been caught, according to the Newark Star-Ledger, on wiretaps discussing the gambling. On the tapes, he appears fully aware of his wife's role. As Off Wing puts it, "This is like seeing Babe Ruth or Hank Aaron thrown into the dock." Remember, we're talking about Wayne Gretzky here. You can also expect many calls for him to recuse himself from his involvement with the Olympic team soon. (Oh, here's a rundown of Ms. Jones' "career.")

As for the Unabookie himself, Rick "The Rick" Toucchet, he's taking an immediate leave from the Coyotes and is expected to be arraigned in the next week. Tocchet's lawyer says, "Mr. Tocchet intends to fight these charges with the same grit and resolve he displayed throughout his long and illustrious NHL career." That is to say, he's going to hit the charges with a stick when they're not looking.

Tocchet Plans to Fight Charges [Washington Post]
Gretzky Caught On Gambling Wiretap [Off Wing Opinion]
Gretzky: Janet Who? [Puck Update]

(UPDATE: The Arizona Republic is reporting that Coyotes GM Mike Barnett made wagers with the Unabookie. Hoo boy.)

It's not just hoping that Tocchet's mob name was "The Rick." It could bust the lid off rumblings of gambling that have been simmering under the surface of the league for years. SI.com has an excellent rundown of what's at stake here, and it's not just Wayne Gretzky's apparent confusion that his wife was allegedly making bets with his friend and assistant coach. The NHL is saying it's disturbed but points out that no one was gambling on hockey. But, if you've watched "The Sopranos," you know all about RICO statutes, and the doors that can be opened once an investigation starts. And it's going to be extremely difficult to shut them.

The NHL is about to get itself rocked. It has been a difficult year-and-a-half for the league, and it's gonna get worse. Bruise Brother, indeed.

Defining Moment [SI.com]
The Real Issue [Off Wing Opinion]