Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less.
In consulting with the National Weather Service and American Red Cross, two USA Today graphic artists apparently found a way to illustrate the dangerous dog-days of summer as a sun blowing and tightly gripping a thermomedong.
By the looks of the screenshot sent in by tipster Greg E., the fine people of Chicago, Rockford and beyond have roughly 36 hours to prepare for what weatherman Mike Caplan says is coming their way.
This red telestrator dong was brought to you by John Bolaris of Philadelphia's Fox29. Looks to be more than 100-miles long. (H/T R.A.)
To Nick Kraynok, these things are good: golf, jet skiing, playing the guitar, rooting for Pittsburgh professional teams and telling the people of San Angelo, Texas the weather.